Is the GLBT community in an abusive relationship with the Democratic Party?

[theHandpuppet]

You may be in an abusive relationship if:

-- Your partner tries to control you by being very bossy or demanding.

-- Claims you are responsible for his or her emotional state.

-- Blames you when he or she mistreats you.

-- Has a history of bad relationships.

-- Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you that they are concerned for your safety or emotional well being.

-- You frequently worry about how he or she will react to things you say or do.

-- Makes "jokes" that shame, humiliate, demean or embarrass you, whether privately or around family and friends.

-- Rages when they feel hurt, shame, fear or loss of control.

-- You leave and then return to your partner repeatedly, against the advice of your friends, family and loved ones.  

-- You have trouble ending the relationship, even though you know inside it's the right thing to do.  

The above list of warning signs was borrowed from this site: http://www.recovery-man.com/abusive/abusive_signs.htm

There are many types of abusive and dependent relationships and though some may consider this a poor analogy, I have wondered for some time now whether the GLBT community is engaged in a type of abusive relationship with the Democratic Party. How many times do we have to be humiliated, shoved aside, made promises that things will get better or that they will change, bear the brunt of rage/accusations when we threaten to leave, made to feel powerless, or blamed for our own victimization? Just when are the roses and promises to change not enough anymore? Will we keep going back time and again, willing to accept the humiliation and abuse because we've been told no one else would love us as they do?

Just some food for thought this morning. I've been mulling over the nature of this sad relationship for years now and I'm sorry to say it's getting mighty hard to defend why we stay.

[pnwmom]

1. No, I think the country is in an abusive relationship with the Republican party. n/t

[jonnyblitz]

2. everyone who isn't "center-right" is in an abusive relationship

with the Democratic party

[Ms. Toad]

3. Frankly, the alteranative is worse.

>>Just some food for thought this morning. I've been mulling over the nature of this sad relationship for years now and I'm sorry to say it's getting mighty hard to defend why we stay.<<

Unlike personal relationships, in which there are many potential partners - and none at all is a perfectly good alternative - in the political realm, in the US, there really are only two partners. The other is worse, and opting out pretty much means waiving all potential for influencing the laws that govern our lives.

That said, the Democratic party (or candidate) does not get my unquestioning loyalty. I always consider the alternatives, and if the alternative is the better candidate in a given race that candidate may get (and in some instances has gotten) my vote.

[Sapphocrat]

5. Quite a dilemma, that.

Should I stay with the husband who beats me, all the while screaming how worthless and disgusting I am, then brags about it to his fellow wifebeater-friends, or should I stay with the husband who beats me while telling me it's for my own good, then whispers sweet nothings and promises he'll treat me better sometime in the future, if I just do what he says (which I always do, but it's never good enough for him)?

If those were the only two options, I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life. Fortunately, there are other prospects.

[racaulk]

4. Also, your partner continues to treat you poorly because he/she thinks you're afraid to leave.

Your partner will taunt you saying things like, "What are you going to do, leave? No one will ever love you like I do. You're nothing without me."

I think that is especially true in this case.

K&R

[mitchtv]

6. Hmmm, where did I hear that lately

oh yeah, in almost ever post a GLBT has spoken out in the last month

[theHandpuppet]

9. Yep. Read several responses like that just today over in GD.

Which is what prompted me to finally post what I've been thinking about the relationship of the GLBT community to the Democratic Party.

[NMMNG]

7. Quite frankly, yes

And if we keep accepting it because we think we can't get any better, or because we believe the "only other alternative" is worse, then nothing will ever change.

We don't have to keep voting for the lesser of two evils just because that's the best we're offered.

We don't have to keep tolerating the abuse because we've been conditioned to believe we don't deserve any better.

We are under no obligation to keep voting for politicians who promise, promise, promise but never deliver. We can vote for others or not vote at all.

If the Democratic party gets the message that they can no longer take us for granted perhaps they'll finally change their tune. If not, perhaps we'll empower a different party and change this screwed-up two party system that's killing the nation. Either way we'll break free of the cycle of abuse.

[SacredCow]

8. Yikes.

Scary, but worth saying. K&R