What does it mean to be gay?

[dsc]

The GSA at my school is going to be discussing this tomorrow and I have to admit I am at a loss for a reasonably concise answer. What answer would you give to that question? I am at work so I will check in and out.

[rosesaylavee]

1. Conversely, what does it mean to be heterosexual?

Or human? I think in an open society, where labels were not an issue, these questions would be taken as absurd only. Maybe a better question should add some qualifiers like what does it mean to be gay in the social atmosphere of the early 21st Century?

[HEyHEY]

2. It means we have "accidents"

That result in babies. You guys REALLY gotta go outta yer way to get one.

[rosesaylavee]

3. 'you guys'?

I will take it you aren't lumping me in with the 'you guys' comment.

[HEyHEY]

4. Yes, as in a group of people I'm addressing, in this case the GLBT forum

Guys, as in the plural form for a mixed groups. Sorry the male noun is used in the plural form.

[rosesaylavee]

5. No, not a problem with the guys part...

I think I'm just a bit touchy today is all... sorry.

[HEyHEY]

6. No worries

Just futzing around here, no harm intended.

[zipplewrath]

7. Technically or philisophically?

Technically it is fairly easy to define.

Philisophically is a tougher nut to crack. Self identity in any form is a hard question. "What am I?" is often one of the more difficult questions to answer. Some would object to being characterized entirely by this one feature. We are all a combination of all of our personality aspects, and some wish not to have themselves defined by any single one.

[Uben]

8. What does it mean?

It really doesn't "mean" anything other than a person has a sexual preference that goes against the puritanical values instilled in some people. I'm straight, but I have several gay and lesbian friends.
I don't care who anybody loves or how they do it. I'm more concerned with my own life.

JAck and Jill, Jill and Joan, or Jack and John. It makes no difference, it's their life, not mine.
LOve is good, no matter who is doing it. Everybody needs somebody (Thanks Deano)! Going thru life with a partner is what most of us are wired for. We want companionship. We want to share our thoughts and feelings. Why should it matter to anyone else how we go about it?

[The_Commonist]

9. Ummm... it means that if you are a boy...

...you like to have sex with other boys.

Does it get any more concise than that?
What other answer could you possibly give?
It's not that complicated...

[WillParkinson]

10. Um....no.

It's not just that you like to have sex with other boys.

You have feelings toward people of the same sex. I haven't had sex with my husband for a while (getting old sucks) but that doesn't make me any less gay. He meets my emotional needs. He makes me feel safe. He comforts me when I'm hurt or sad or sick. He rubs my feet when they hurt.

It's not just sex. It's a part of your life.

[DCKit]

12. Well stated.

And would you be able to visit your husband in the hospital if he were sick? Or inherit his (your joint) property if he were to die without a will?

Being gay in our society means being discriminated against on a very basic level.

[HEyHEY]

11. Well, I'm a man with a thing for short women with their hair up....

Does that make me a "shorthairuposexual." You're kinda simplifying it so it sounds like a fetish. Sexuality isn't the only factor as you crave an emotional need from your sex partner. I have many friends I am closer to than my GF, however, cuddling with them wouldn't be the same cause they're dudes. I even have women friends that are in the same boat, cuddling with them wouldn't be the same (And, when it has happened in the past was missing something).

[Evasporque]

13. It means acknowleging to yourself that you sexually prefer the same sex as yourself.

Sure you can tell others...but if you know you prefer the same sex for sex and romantic companionship then that is being gay.

[TriMera]

14. I think it's all in the process.

As Gays, Lesbians and Transsexuals, we go through some steps in our lives that heterosexuals don't necessarily go through.

1. Discovery
2. Self-Acceptance
3. Coming Out
4. Maneuvering through a society that doesn't recognize us or our relationships.

Not all of us go through this process in the same way, but we all share at least some part of it. I think that's what sets us apart. When I think about what it means to be a lesbian (or gay or transsexual), I think about what I've been through to get to where I am today.