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Hi, all. My father writes a weekly column for a local paper and I though this week's article might be of interest. FWIW, he is a retired minister who has devoted his life to social justice and progressive causes, and, at 80 years old, continues be an activist.
WHO GETS BULLIED IN AMERICA’S SCHOOLS? (12/1)
During a three-month period in the mid 1980s, I presided at the funerals of three remarkable boys. Each of them had committed suicide. In each case the parents, as well as the rest of us, were at a loss to explain why these lads had decided to take their own lives. The one I remember most clearly was Jason (not his real name). Jason was a bright, fun-loving, perfectly delightful 14 year old. He was the bright light of his Sunday School class, and loved by those in the church who knew him—that included practically everybody. Jason was delightfully gregarious! Late one night I was called to his family’s house. His parents had found him hung from a rafter in the basement. I spent all that night at the hospital with them, until Jason was finally pronounced dead.
I had heard that Jason was the object of continual teasing at his Jr. High School; ridicule which grew into bullying. I subsequently learned that a few days before his death a group of the bullies had wrestled him into a large trash can, clamped on the lid and ran off laughing. We do not know what caused their hostility. Jason was a mild mannered, sweet natured, and rather unmasculine lad.
Today we might speculate about his sexual orientation. We now know that in America’s schools gay boys are overwhelmingly the butt of cruel acts perpetrated by their male schoolmates. 80% of GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender) students have reported being verbally harassed, and 49% report having been physically assaulted during the past year. (2009 National School Climate Survey) Nearly two-thirds of them felt unsafe in their school, and unsupported by their teachers and their principals. It is further known that these students suffered from depression, anxiety and low self-esteem—all the things that may make suicide attractive. Indeed the suicide rate of these students is three to four times higher than that of their straight counterparts (Save the Schools, as reported by The Williams Institute of the UCLA Law School.)
A quarter century ago I had neither the information nor the wisdom to realize what might have been the cause of Jason’s tragic death, or that of the other two boys. Homosexuality was not discussed anywhere in my world. As in our day, back then fully 10% of the population had a different sexual orientation, but nobody admitted it and nobody talked about it. There might have been a few lewd jokes, but little understanding of what homosexuality really entailed.
Even in these more enlightened days bullying of more fragile and defenseless boys is on the rise. Young girls are not that often physically abused, but are simply walled out of the cliques which are everywhere present. Shunning can be just as dangerous as physical assaults.
Today we are not without the resources needed to address the problem. Two months ago this subject was on everyone’s agenda, but like many important issues, it vanished from view as quickly at it had appeared.
Perhaps the first line of defense lies with parents of the bullies. It is far more serious than “boys will be boys.” Teachers and school administrators need to know what is happening under their noses, and to take direct action. “The Trevor Project” (www.thetrevorproject.org) has both literature and a film which has been shown in hundreds of Junior and Senior High Schools. If you suspect that a child has been bullied, for whatever reason, and is in danger of harming himself, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273 8255. And be aware that Gay youngsters may be more at risk than others.
There may be issues individuals can do little about. This is one where you might make a life and death difference.
Charles Bayer
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