A question for gay DUer's

[BayCityProgressive]

Sorry I am not sure where to post this question as it isn't related to politics. I have been with my significant other for about 2 years now and I would like to propose to him and have a commitment ceremony. I live in Michigan so there are no protections for gays here and marriage is banned. We are going to Punta Cana for 7 nights in May and I think this would be the perfect place to propose. I have never been to a gay marriage or commitment ceremony. Has anyone here been involved in such an event? If so did you or the person propose with a ring? Did you buy partnership rings for both people? how did it work? I really have no idea how to go about this as the whole concept is something kind of new. Or are rings not exchanged at all until the ceremony? Thanks for any help guys, I'm completely lost here!

[goclark]

1. Delighted to hear of your good news

Hope everything works beautifully --- keep DU posted

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

2. I'm not gay

but I would think that a variation of the wedding vows or your faith, or vows you write yourself would be fine! I'm so happy for you and your partner, and wish you all the best!

[OneBlueSky]

3. just do whatever feels right to you . . .

there's no right or wrong way . . . the range of commitment ceremonies is a varied as the individuals planning them . . . just go with your gut and have fun . . . :)

[dsc]

4. Congrats dude

I haven't been to one either but it seems that you should be able to get sets of rings like straight couples do. In any case one of the fun things is that you get to do what you want to do. Have fun.

[William769]

5. Congratulations!

Make the ceremony however you want it to be we are charting new waters here.

But to answer your question, I am in a relationship of 15 years. I gave him an engagement ring & a year later we said our vows in a MCC church & exchanged rings. We have been happily together ever since! :)

[Ayesha]

6. However you want

There is no one answer to how to do this, it's all about what is right for you. My partner and I have not had a wedding yet but we both wear diamond engagement rings that we chose together. She proposed to me using a box filled with little pins that have images of rings on them. It was sweet and wonderful and totally original. If you think your guy would like an engagement ring, you could get him one, or some other type of gift, such as cufflinks or an engraved watch.

We plan to have a ceremony in front of friends and family and call it what it is - a wedding. It's important to us to not use terms like "commitment ceremony" that make our relationship out to be different or less than any hetero one. Remember, the state can refuse to RECOGNIZE your marriage, but it can't stop you from getting married in the eyes of your friends, family, God and/or the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Congratulations and best of luck!

[xchrom]

7. be creative! and have fun.

there are priests and ministers and rabbis who will preside if you wish.

make sure to invite only your folks who are going to be very supportive -- i've seen weddings where this parent or grandparent wouldn't attend -- and it really made some of those getting married sad. this is the happiest time.
nobody needs that energy when they get married. but that just me.

you'll probably need help -- so designate a friend who can be a ''wedding planner''.

don't do the cooking your self.

thinking up a theme really, really helps.

pick colours.

and so on.