Tales from an Ex-gay meeting in San Francisco (Rip-roaring laughter)

[Quetzal]

Onward Christian Ex-Gays

"OK, time to get into the hot seat!" the leader of the Fellow Warrior support group announces. I'm herded over to the coffee table in the center of a small back room in a crappy two-story office complex. I sit down and bow my head. Suddenly, 12 Fellow Warriors -- or "ex-gays," as their propaganda calls them -- put their hands on my body, most particularly the shoulders and upper torso, and the praying begins. Like freestyle rappers coming to the mike, each takes a turn praying that my sinful soul stays on the right path. I'm going by the pseudonym Monty today, and the Fellow Warriors are praying that the Lord will watch over me and prevent me from falling back into the gay lifestyle.
"Yes, Jesus. Yes!"

"Monty has a scary journey ahead of him ..."

"Evil days! Evil days!" someone cries.

"... please watch over Monty, oh Lord!"

"Amen! Amen!" someone else cries.

"The righteous man falls several times. Look after Monty and guide him!"

"Yes, Jesus! Yes!"

more...

http://www.sfweekly.com/issues/2004-12-22/news/infiltrator.html

[tjwmason]

1. Yikes.

It's a good job that the other people in my office are off today as I laughed out loud at several points. The Gaymores were particularly funny.

"I believe it takes a lot of guts to walk through that door, to say, 'I even know someone who is homosexual, and I question it.' Because socially, it's like drinking," she spews, disgustedly. "Social drinking is very acceptable. They don't know it's wrong."

So I'm going to hell for being gay, for knowing gays, for social drinking. Hey I'm a Catholic, she'll probably chuck me downstairs for that too. That's before we get onto the actual bad stuff.

I take it that I'm not the only one who thinks that this stuff can cause some pretty serious psychological issues.

[ET Awful]

2. BUAHAHAHAHA

"My son designs Web sites. He said to me, 'Mom, look at this Web site I designed.' He brought it up on the computer, and these male figures came up. And it was a gay porn site!" the large woman says. "My mouth had dropped, and I said, 'Oh my God! What are you doing?'"

"You had to look at them, too," Debbie sympathizes.

"Was there any tea-bagging going on?" I ask, gravely concerned.



The author has a wicked sense of humor :)

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

3. its a great read, funny and poignant

but the ending is pretty serious and made me a bit sad...

[Rowdyboy]

4. What an incredible read!

Thanks for posting it...

[davidinalameda]

5. self-loathing, self-hating

sick people

I hope they can find peace in their lives

[Touchdown]

6. Remember the Will & Grace one where...

Jack and Karen went to an ex-gay meeting because Jack had the hots for the leader (Doogie Howser)? The ladies take Karen away for a "class" and she asks..."Are we going to learn how to use deodorant?"

Jack finally get's Doogie to accept a shower and rub down together "as long as it's a heterosexual back washing!" LOL!

[livinginphotographs]

7. Man, that's just sad.

I understand he's trying to be funny, but I'm sure there's a parent out there doing that to their child.

[booley]

8. funny but scary too

since there are groups out there peddelign books on preventing gayness...

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=preventing+homosexuality&btnG=Google+Search

[TaleWgnDg]

9. I wonder. Do these folks get federal taxpayers monies?

I wonder. Do these folks get federal taxpayers monies? Directly or indirectly? Layered through some other entity? Am curious.





.

[Ian David]

11. Yes, some DO get federal money

Particularly the Scientologists and the Moonies.

[Maven]

10. What do you tell the kids?!

ROFL. So funny. Thanks for this.