Feeling Unwelcome, Some Gays Vacate Virginia

[MountainLaurel]

Edel Quinones lived in Virginia for 10 years, but early this year, he sold his Arlington townhouse to move to the District.

"It felt like I wasn't welcome anymore," he said.

Quinones and his partner of three years are joining a migration of gay people out of Virginia in the face of recent legislative action they perceive as hostile.

Twenty states have amended their constitution to ban same-sex marriage since 2004. Virginia state legislators passed a law two years ago that prohibits "civil unions, partnership contracts or other arrangements between persons of the same sex purporting to bestow the privileges or obligations of marriage." A proposed constitutional amendment, which will go to voters in November, excludes any "unmarried individuals" from "union, partnership or other legal status similar to marriage."

Many gay people in Virginia and some family-law attorneys say they worry that the state law and proposed amendment are more far-reaching than simple bans on gay marriage -- that the measures could threaten the legal viability of the contracts used by gay couples to share ownership of property and businesses.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/08/06/AR2006080600797.html

[TAPat]

1. :shakes head:

and sighs... When will this shit end?

[soothsayer]

2. Here's a website devoted to helping Virginia defeat the amendment

www.thevirginiaway.org

The Virginia Way is a voluntary political organization dedicated to restoring civility and promoting political moderation in Virginia, committed to take a stand against the discrimination amendment (the so called "marriage amendment") on the November ballot....

[catnhatnh]

3. So the new motto is....

"Virginia is for SOME lovers???"

[theHandpuppet]

4. Feeling "unwelcome"... "they perceive as hostile"

Gee, with games of semantics like that the WP is stooping to a new low.

Stripping us of all our rights and benefits could be perceived as hostile, no? Stripping us of all our rights and benefits makes us feel "unwelcome"... well, DUH!!!

The state motto SHOULD be: Virginia Is For Bigots!

[undergroundpanther]

16. Bigot central

I am ashamed of some of my family that lives out there.

[Solo_in_MD]

5. This is also increase the gentrification friction in the district

Which is already a juggernaut

[sui generis]

6. well then Virginia succeeded

and when every state succeeds where will we go? What will become of the next generations of our kind? We have to fight these fuckers.

Anyway, there is certainly no test in business over the affectional orientation of any set of partners in a registered business partnership, and the state of Virginia can sit and spin but there is nothing they can do about it if a business contract is treated as a business contract for the purpose of joint ownership of a property unless they start questioning every business contract.

And, they had better come to a ruling soon. If there are life insurance companies collecting premiums they don't intend to pay because they believe they're protected under the law from paying to a designated beneficiary, that too is insurance fraud.

And contract, hell. If I'm paying the medical bill, then whomever I wish to see is who gets to see me in the hospital, not whomever the state "allows" to visit me. Fortunately most hospitals are already sensitive to this, but if my second cousins twice removed showed up and kept my SO from seeing me while I was unconscious they had better kill me with a fire axe before I come to, for their own safety. In fact I may even put that in writing and send them copies.

[One Sweet World]

7. not just banning gay marriage

I am quite sure the voters in Virginia will vote in favor of the constitutional amendment but I do not think they realize the measure's unfair implications. As the Wash Post article pointed out, legal contracts, such as wills or living wills, could be easily challenged by family members if they wanted to take away property or even children.

Obviously, it is unfair to say that some people can marry and some cannot but it goes far beyond ridiculous that, if approved, these legal contracts could be voided. Shouldn't everyone be afforded the same equal rights when it comes to basic legal documents that illustrate a couples wishes? I think if Virginians understood the overarching ramifications, there could be a chance the amendment would fail but I have a feeling I'm a bit naive.

We might all be moving to New Jersey to live happy, prosperous lives, depending on how the state's supreme court rules, of course.

[cboy4]

8. While I absolutely understand why Quinones would move, part of me

kinda cringes reading about this.

That's because the people who are behind these gay hate laws WANT gay people to leave!

Moving plays right into their hands and only encourages other municipalities to pass similar laws.

Again though, I understand why some feel it necessary to get the hell out.

I hope Edel finds happiness in his new neighborhood.

[TaleWgnDg]

9. Lookit . . . (said while shaking my head) . . . this is not new.

.

Lookit . . . (said while shaking my head) . . . this is not new, unfortunately.

Virginia has always been one hell of a cesspool when it comes to fair and equal family law, period.

Are you aware that Loving v. Virginia is the 1967 U.S. Supreme Court case that challenged a Virginia law which "outlawed" blacks and whites marrying?

That was yesterday and this is today. But Virginia has a very loooooooooooooooong way to go before it enters the 20th century --- yes, that's the TWENTIETH century --- when it comes to fair and equitable family law matters, whether its the ability to marry, the ability to divorce, child custody matters, adoption matters, guardianship matters, child visitation matters, foster parent matters, foster child matters, and the legal family law list goes on and on. Same old, same old.

For example, check this out: http://jurist.law.pitt.edu/paperchase/2006/08/vermont-court-says-lesbian-child.php (talk about hateful Virginia!)

Who should it surprise that Virginia and its citizens in the majority have written laws to further place a hateful stamp upon the face of their state? Who should be surprised when the vitriol hits the fan about GLBTs? Further prohibiting GLBTs from forming private partnership contracts upheld by Virginia courts? Or prohibiting corporations from offering partnership benefits? Yada, yada, yada??

In short, Virginia has Neanderthal family law!! Its arms drag along the floor . . . attempting to veil/wrap itself in "Christian values" "moral values" "family values" . . . etc. Virginia is an American state where GLBTs are not wanted and should not reside. Simple really.



Loving v. Virginia

.

[NMMNG]

10. Good for them

Virginia has been becoming more and more bigoted and oppressive. I hope every gay/lesbian person who can packs up and leaves, also letting the state know why. Maybe when the state starts losing revenues they'll rethink their dark ages policies.

[Sapphocrat]

11. About damn well time.

Thinking of Scottie72 right now.

[davidinalameda]

12. a friend of mine has been after me to move to Northern VA with her

there's no way in hell I'd move to Virgina as a gay man

these laws are designed to get gays and lesbians out of the state but those who pass them aren't seeing the big picture

the state is going to start suffering a brain drain; companies won't want to locate there; I'm sure we can get a good boycott going of the state as well

[dsc]

15. they already are

and it will just get worse. They are absolutely desperate for teachers but many won't go due to this crap.

[Creideiki]

13. Virginia is also one of the states desperate for hiring qualified teachers

There's no way I'd go there to teach math.

[dsc]

14. Same here

I went to a conference of math and science teachers in Richmond and more than a few people tried to recruit me. I told them absolutely not. NC isn't paradise but we are a heck of a lot better than them.

[Meldread]

17. I'm getting out, too.

As someone who lives in Virginia, I'm following in the footsteps of the Quinones and getting out. Once all this started I was unsure what to do. At first I wanted to stay and fight it, and felt like a coward for wanting to leave. Well over 95% of my immediate family and extended family lives within a few hours of me. There are only a handful who really ever leave the state. However, things have just been getting worse and there doesn't look to be much hope in the distant future.

I compare that to the economic situation in Southern Virginia and know there isn't much of a future here. For the economic reason alone my parents want me to get out of Virginia, to at the very least move up to Northern Virginia where there are better opportunities. I'm only being held back by financial restraints, but I am also waiting to see what happens in NJ, Mass, and Canada. If the dust clears around Canadian gay marriage laws and things there look to be pretty solid, I might move there. However, I want to stay in the United States for mostly political and patriotic reasons. I doubt I'll move to D.C., even though I considered it at one point in time. I want to move somewhere where I can build a life and a future. I may not know where that is yet, but I know it isn't in Virginia. I refuse to get involved in a relationship until I'm out of here, because I don't want anything that will tie me down to this state. It's simply too risky to keep living here.

[dsc]

18. North Carolina isn't too bad

and would likely be fairly close to where you are. Raleigh and Durham are both within an hour of virginia as is Greensboro none of which are horrible places to live for gays.

[Ayesha]

19. We seriously considered North Carolina

as my parents have a cottage in SC near the border and it would make visiting a lot more convenient if we lived in Asheville instead of California! Unfortunately though, NC does NOT have second parent adoption, and we want kids, so instead we're going to move to San Diego, adopt in a few years, and then maybe move once we both are the legal parents we'll move again. Pain in the ass, huh!

[dsc]

20. That is a pain in the ass

I didn't think of kids but you are quite right about no second parent adoption.

[and-justice-for-all]

21. Virgina is not economically viable either....

..I have a friend who is from Virgina, she recently moved back because her family is their and she (Lesbian) said there is NO work. She has had problems finding quality and stable work.

[and-justice-for-all]

22. Europe sounds better and better everyday...

The States are in a downhill roll thats just going speed and headed for a collapse; Germany sounds nice and I often talk about moving overseas just to get the hell out from under the Conserveative thumb of ignorance.