SacredCow
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Fri Feb-01-08 11:15 AM
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Got the phone call from my Doc.... |
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NEGATIVE!
:grouphug: Thanks to all of you wonderful DU'ers for the vibes and good wishes!!!! Now, to figure out what to do about the cheating significant other....
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fenriswolf
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Fri Feb-01-08 11:17 AM
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1. i've heard poisen ivy on the genitalia sucks big time. |
SacredCow
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Fri Feb-01-08 11:19 AM
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except that I'm VERY allergic to it- I would have to get someone else to apply, or I'd be in the hospital.
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donsu
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Fri Feb-01-08 11:18 AM
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2. say bye bye to SO - nobody needs a cheater |
zabet
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Fri Feb-01-08 11:19 AM
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toothbrush to clean under the rim of the bowl of the toilet.
Glad your test was neg.
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DarkTirade
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Fri Feb-01-08 11:36 AM
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5. Firm boot out the door, I'd say. :) |
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But that's just me.
Glad you're okay! :hi:
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soleft
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Fri Feb-01-08 11:41 AM
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MADem
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Fri Feb-01-08 11:57 AM
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7. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Surely you can do better. NT |
SacredCow
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Fri Feb-01-08 01:06 PM
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10. Yeah, I've certainly heard that a lot..... |
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And I did get away, for a time- sleeping a night here, and a night there. Unfortunately, apartments (at least affordable ones) are hard to come by here lately, so I ended up back at his house with the stipulation that we were roommates and nothing more. Of course, that started the "I know I fucked up, and I don't deserve you, but please don't throw it all away... I'll go to counseling... what can I do?.... etc..." To his credit, he is going to a therapist, but it's way too soon to know if there's any progress or hope that we'll ever be an item again. We have a lot of the same friends, so we've agreed to stay friends regardless so we can still be social.
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MADem
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Fri Feb-01-08 01:29 PM
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12. Stay roommates, if you can, but SacredCow, find yourself a new Bull!! |
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It'll happen again. It always does. Don't put your life "on hold" waiting to see if his therapy 'takes.' Be cheerful and friendly and positive when dealing with your Now-Friend, don't let him get shirty with you, and stay on your path!
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SacredCow
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Fri Feb-01-08 02:56 PM
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16. Oh, I've got nothing on hold.... |
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But I'm not really in the market for a new bull as of yet. When word got out that we were having problems, I was shocked by the number of propositions I received- It both flattered and appalled me, to be honest (appalling just because of the timing). So I'm on a Que Sera Sera path, I guess... I've got a lot of work to keep me busy, as well as an old VW Beetle that I just purchased to play with.
Time will tell what can and can not happen with us, and I'm good either way.
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MADem
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Fri Feb-01-08 03:06 PM
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17. Who needs a bull, when you have a VW Beetle!!! |
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I had an early sixties VW, very many years ago...what a car!!!
That's a good luck charm, if anything is!
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SacredCow
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Fri Feb-01-08 03:12 PM
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18. Mine's a 1979 Super Beetle convertible.... |
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The last year the German-made ones were imported to the US, and soon after they moved all production to Mexico and Brazil.
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MADem
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Fri Feb-01-08 03:14 PM
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19. Mine was a .... sixty three! It was yellow and had a footprint on the roof. |
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The previous owner was angry that it didn't start...!
It ran like a champ for a decade or more.
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SacredCow
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Fri Feb-01-08 03:22 PM
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21. Here's a pic of my new S/O LOL |
MADem
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Fri Feb-01-08 03:33 PM
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22. Oh, WOW--a DROP TOP!!! You're gonna have FUN this summer! nt |
SacredCow
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Fri Feb-01-08 03:37 PM
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23. Hell, I'm gonna have fun TOMORROW!!!! n/t |
blayne
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Sat Feb-09-08 05:43 PM
Response to Reply #12 |
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and you are right; once a cheater always a cheater. I think people are wired one way or the other for the most part.
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ConcernedCanuk
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Fri Feb-01-08 02:17 PM
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13. Glad you came up clean. Question tho - has HE been tested? |
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. . .
And I'd definitely follow up on his therapy thing -
The way you have described it, he is genuinely upset with his own behavior.
So if it is in your own heart to maintain the relationship, I suggest you work with him in this therapy thing.
BUT
If it is something you can never "forgive"
Then move on.
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SacredCow
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Fri Feb-01-08 02:51 PM
Response to Reply #13 |
15. He was also tested... |
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but the results haven't come back yet- either today or Monday, as I understand.
I don't doubt that he's upset by his own behavior- the question is whether he can or will change. My experience is that leopards CAN change their spots, but they seldom really want to. That's where his therapy comes in. I've not been asked to attend yet, but if I'm requested to I will certainly throw in my $0.02.
It's all up in the air right now- I'm living there, but it's just for convenience. He has his life, I have mine- we often will do some things together socially, but that's it for now....
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plantwomyn
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Fri Feb-01-08 02:26 PM
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14. Just keep in your mind |
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How you have felt for the last few days. Every time your knees start to get week, bring up the fear and hurt of the last few days and "JUST SAY NO". If he's got to ask what he can do he ain't worth it. Pay half of the bills and get the hell out of there. Put out some feelers to friends for a room for rent ASAP if you can't get your own apartment. It isn't to his credit that he os going to a therapist. If he gets his shit together at a later date maybe he can regain your trust. Until then get out and concentrate on being good to yourself. And OMFG wear a fucking condom!
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Arkansas Granny
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Fri Feb-01-08 11:57 AM
Response to Original message |
8. Great news about the tests! |
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About the cheating SO, get away. If they have done it once and put you at risk, there is no guarantee that you won't be playing this out again in the future. In my experience, if the one I'm with wants to be with someone else, it's time to let them go. You deserve better than that.
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mitchtv
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Fri Feb-01-08 01:04 PM
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:party: Cut the sneak off. but remember to err is human, etc
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Touchdown
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Fri Feb-01-08 01:24 PM
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11. Good for you. Keep safe, and dump the cheater. |
closeupready
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Fri Feb-01-08 03:16 PM
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20. Excellent - now dump him, and find someone you can trust! |
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Do you really want to go through this whole thing again and again?
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SacredCow
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Fri Feb-01-08 04:19 PM
Response to Reply #20 |
24. I'm hoping to find a way to remain friends.... |
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perhaps even still be roommates, because other than the cheating we do get along so well. But no- I don't want to go through all of the anger and worrying over my health again. It sucked.
But it was a reminder for me to go back to volunteering for the local AIDS walk.... I heard someone say that HIV wasn't an important issue anymore, and I nearly bitch-slapped him. Things are better, granted, but certainly NOT over...
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closeupready
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Fri Feb-01-08 04:48 PM
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25. Yes, things are FAR from over. |
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HIV impacts quality of life, not just mortality.
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SacredCow
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Fri Feb-01-08 05:18 PM
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And it's a HUGE stigma. Honestly, I think I was more worried about the ramifications of health insurance, life insurance, etc... than I was mortality. I had trouble renewing my health insurance at one time because of a short-lived bout with acid reflux- I can't imagine what kind of fight it would have been with HIV.
To hear someone say that the HIV crisis is over was quite infuriating....
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dsc
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Fri Feb-01-08 05:25 PM
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27. I am so happy for you |
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Congrads and kick him to the curb.
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