I've been an asshole.

[Moloch]

My posts about transgendered people have been very hurtful and unnecessary. I apologize to any who have been upset by them.

As a gay person, it was especially wrong of me to stereotype and single out another minority group.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

1. Oh well.

Haven't we all, at one time or another. It's one of the ways we learn, once we and others get done beating up on ourselves.

[ccharles000]

2. You are wonderful.

:hug:

[Falling Up]

3. Hey I'm a long time lurker

I've just been hanging around watching the dialog, and I wanted to say thanks for this. As a transsexual, it's always discouraging to see people put people like me down, and that's fairly often. It takes a lot to apologize.

Good luck

[La Lioness Priyanka]

4. yup you have. thanks for the apology.

[Zuiderelle]

5. Good for you for apologizing. It sounds sincere, so I'll assume it is.

:thumbsup:

[roughsatori]

6. Your Apology is Meaningless

Is an apology enough? No! it is not. What belief's of yours have changed regarding Transgendered people? I doubt any.

I stopped posting at DU over 4 years ago due to bigots like you.

There is a slim to nothing chance that your apology indicates your good intentions; but even if so it reminds me of the saying: "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

Your profile's "gender" used to be "female." You changed it to "male" in the last few days after GLBT members discussed it. Now, as of yesterday, you're "undeclared" in your profile.

If Bush* apologised to America today (with out any words about how the change in ideology came about or what he thinks now, would you be fine with that? Maybe you would. But his apology, as is yours, is meaningless to me.

Your profile's "gender" used to be "female." You changed it to "male" in the last few days after GLBT members discussed it. Now, as of yesterday, you're "undeclared" in your profile.

Damkira, If you are transgendered, your posts are indicative of your own self-loathing and confusion. If you questioning your gender, I apologize.

[Clintonista2]

7. What's up with that? I noticed the same thing (the OP switching genders)

But I thought that maybe I had confused the OP with someone else.

[LostinVA]

64. No, they switched genders, just as they switched sexual orientations

[Zuiderelle]

8. Well, now, that's telling.

[LostinVA]

9. I noticed it, too

[Zuiderelle]

10. Then I'm officially taking this apology with a grain of salt.

That seems pretty deceptive.

[roughsatori]

11. You are far more generous than I can be to the her/him/undeclared OP

The OP's posts in the past have been not ONLY anti-transgender but anti-GLBT in general. I did a search.

[Zuiderelle]

12. How am I being generous? I've read their posts as well, and vehemently disagreed.

Taking something with a grain of salt, is not really believing it without more proof.

[roughsatori]

13. I see what you mean. I go by the OED's definition (my favorite source.

Meaning: "to accept a thing less than fully." From the Latin: "cum grano salis." I meant that you were generous in that you were taking the OP with some skepticism (I thought that generous as I am not "taking" the OP at all). The word "really" modifies "believing." OMG Now I'm bringing Michelle Obama's "really proud" thing here. LMAO

Sorry for sounding like a pedantic jerk in this reply to you. Words and Phrases change meanings all the time and according to user. Thanks for asking what I meant.


:pals:

[Zuiderelle]

14. Ok, that makes sense. I do accept (on condition) his apology, so maybe I am being overly generous

given the history of his posts on the subject.

:pals:

[mitchtv]

16. Wanna parse something?

Try this beauty
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=221x71933

It left me scratching my head

[roughsatori]

18. I'm befuddled by that post and almost harrumphed.

I would go on but at the moment I am listening to Courtney Love.

[mitchtv]

15. While there is "more joy in heaven for a lost sheep"

I carelessly was ready to accept that apology. You, roughy, have detected something that smells a lot like a rat. I'll reserve that acceptance speech. Damkira said some pretty mean and hateful things, as if on a "crusade". I'll sit this one out

[Moloch]

21. The gender on my profile has been Undeclared for as long..

as I can remember. I'm male and not transgendered.

I shouldn't have said a lot of those things about transgendered people and shouldn't have repeatedly called them transvestites but isn't comparing me to bush a bit over the top?

[roughsatori]

22. You have changed your gender in your profile as I stated. Perhaps you forgot.

You are over the top and, like *Bush, a bigot regardless of your "I shouldn't have said," and "apology."

I did a search on you some time ago due to your offensive posts. I also checked your profile and noted that you were a "female," then a "Male," now "Undeclared." You have been anti-GLBT in your posts--NOT JUST ANTI-TRANSGENDER.

[Moloch]

23. That simply isn't true.

I didn't change my gender. You're either mistaken or just lying.

[roughsatori]

24. I did not say YOU changed gender. I said your profile changed gender.

You, as usual, seem to be parsing bullshit.

[Zuiderelle]

53. I'd like to hear an answer to this question from damkira

"What beliefs of yours have changed regarding Transgendered people"

Surely by now, three months later, he's had time to formulate a response.

[TechBear_Seattle]

57. Has Hell frozen over in the last three months? n/t

[Duncan Grant]

17. I was upset by your posts, so I'll accept your apology.

Your posts have been filled with contempt for trans people. That might explain some of the reaction your getting here (and I'll let the trans posters address that directly).

My hope is that you'll learn as much as you can about trans people and their lives. When you do you'll experience nothing but empathy.

Again, I appreciate the effort you're making in cleaning up the damage.

[Toasterlad]

19. Given the Tone of Your Previous Posts, It's Difficult to Accept Your Apology...

...without knowing what prompts it.

[LostinVA]

20. Hopefully, it was prompted by

A blinking red message in the upper-left corner of her screen.

Which, of course, doesn't add to the "sincerity" of this message at all.

[racaulk]

25. Yes, you have.

Your prior posts on transgendered people have been vile and vitriolic, and no amount of pleading you to stop or attempts at educating you had any effect. But now all of a sudden we're supposed to believe that you've had a change of heart and that your way of thinking about transgendered people has changed?

Yeah, right.

What have you learned here, damkira? Why were your remarks wrong? Why do you believe that they were hurtful and unnecessary? Can you now explain and understand the difference between a transgendered person and a transvestite? Do you still believe that sex reassignment surgery is a mere "vanity project?" Do you still "hate the parasitic way that transgendered people have latched onto the gay rights movement?" Do you still believe that being transgendered is nothing more than wearing clothing that does not fit societal norms? Exactly how has your thinking changed, and why should we believe that your bigoted way of thinking has changed virtually overnight?

Perhaps I'm being way too cynical here, and I offer my sincere apologies to you if so. But until you can answer any of the questions I have just posed, then I will entertain no delusions that your apology is sincere. Your apology seems very forced, like that of a child that is being forced by their parent to admit wrongdoing. It sounds like you're saying the minimum you have to say without any real feeling behind your words, and that makes your apology pretty hollow to me.

[Zuiderelle]

26. Thanks for kicking this. I was wondering if she had ever responded.

I have no doubt about the sincerity at this point. And that's all I'll say.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

29. she is a he. nt

[Zuiderelle]

32. I get confused, since I've seen the profile say both.

:)

[racaulk]

34. Oh, I was glad to kick the thread.

If I'm going to be accused of being a "loud-mouth discontent," I should at least live up to that title. :evilgrin:

[Duncan Grant]

35. "malcontent" -- get it right, damnit!

:evilgrin:

[racaulk]

36. ROFL!!!

Oh yes, you're right!

:spank:

[Zuiderelle]

37. It's all your fault.

:P

[Duncan Grant]

41. Mr. Malcontent, that's me. It's all about me.

It's a tough job but someone has to do it! :silly:

[Clintonista2]

28. Why? Because she probably got a warning from the mods

[La Lioness Priyanka]

30. damkira is not a she. nt

[Clintonista2]

33. Sorry it's hard to know whether it's a he or a she. They change the gender in their profile weekly

[racaulk]

31. That's what I think too.

There is no way that damkira made this apology because he is genuinely sorry. You can take that to the bank.

[Moloch]

56. Directly before I made this apology...

I got into a long conversation with a friend about a popular transgender preformer, who goes by the name of Shirley Q. Liquor. For those not familiar with her, she is a comedian who tours the country in blackface whose act is nothing more than cheap stereotypes of black people. I was appalled that her performance had almost no negative feedback since her act was a throwback minstrel show. My thoughts on this were that, as gay people, we should know better than to stereotype and degrade other groups. Of course, my friend pointed out the obvious hypocrisy in my own stereotypes and irrational hatred (which was based on personal experience rather than anything else) was just as wrong as if I were a racist, sexist or anything else. Of course, he was right. Negative personal experiences do not give one the right to stereotype an entire group of people and it was very wrong of me to hold those prejudices.. especially as a gay person -- because, having faced a lot of prejudice myself - I should have known better.

A transvestite is a person who enjoys cross dressing but a transgendered person is someone who feels they were assigned does not match up with the way they feel on the inside. This is similar to sexual orientation and cannot be changed anymore than sexual orientation can. I no longer believe sexual reassignment surgery is a vanity project and it was very wrong -- ethically and factually -- to say transgendered people have latched onto the gay movement. Transgendered people have always been part of and worked very hard for the movement. Again, I now know that cross dressing and gender identity are two very different things.

Nobody forced me to make an apology, and whether you choose to accept it or not does not mean it was insincere.

[Zuiderelle]

58. Chuck Nipp who does "Shirley Q. Liquor" is NOT Transgendered.

He's a DRAG QUEEN, not really even a transvestite, from the descriptions I've read. He's a guy that does a "comedy" show (an offensive one to most) in drag. There's a HUGE difference between him and transsexuals.

Knipp's best known character is Shirley Q. Liquor, a cariacature of a black southern woman. Knipp performs the character -- an Ebonics speaking, welfare-collecting mother of 19 children<1> -- in blackface. Knipp speaks in a dialect of stereotypical broken English when he is performing as Shirley. Her conversations are often riddled with malapropisms, as when she suggests that her cat needs to get "sprayed", or when she goes shopping at "K-Mark" or 'Wal-Mark". The character attends Mount Holy Olive Second Baptist Zion Church of God in Christ of Resurrected Latter-Day Saints AME Hallelujah Jesus (a reference to historically African-American churches). She also references the Macademia Jubilation Congregation and the Reese's Peanut Butter Choir. On a few skits, she refers to herself as The Reverend Doctor Shirley Q. Liquor.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Knipp

[La Lioness Priyanka]

27. i think you have been what you are.

[mitchtv]

38. I see nothing's changed

same ol, same ol

[maddiejoan]

39. As a transexual woman

Tell ya what I'll do.

I'll accept your apology for your previous actions, and hope that it's coming out of sincerity.

But -- life being what it is for someone like me --don't expect me to give you the benefit of the doubt twice.

A lot of what you said was deeply hurtful, and I hope you're man enough to own it.

[ronnykmarshall]

62. Hey MJ!!

I've missed you!

[LostinVA]

65. It six months old -- she's still banned

AS is Haruka.

[racaulk]

68. I really wish they were both allowed to return.

:(

[goddess40]

40. The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't

http://www.amazon.com/Asshole-Rule-Civilized-Workplace-Surviving/dp/0446526568/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1211500342&sr=8-2

According to this book I think you might be a temporary asshole, I wish I could get everyone to read it as it's so right on the money.

[Name removed]

42. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Zuiderelle]

43. Seconded.

[Name removed]

44. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[racaulk]

45. "Which is why I never personally insult anyone here."

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=221x79996#80015

If that's true, then why was this OP necessary?

Liar. :eyes:

[Zuiderelle]

46. I think it's a good idea to keep this thread kicked.

And see if the OP ever comes back to it to answer any of the questions posed to him here.

[racaulk]

49. Believe me, I intend to do just that.

Until this thread is locked or I am tombstoned, I will continue to kick this thread to give examples of damkira's behavior when he acts in a way that he supposedly apologized for. And I doubt that he will ever respond to any of the questions asked of him here.

[Moloch]

47. The posts which I apologized for in this thread were general posts

about transgendered people. I never personally insulted anyone. Apparently, some people here have nothing better to do than compile my posts so maybe you could find a single post in which I personally insulted someone.

Oh, one other thing.

From the DU rules:

Do not call another member of this message board a liar, and do not call another member's post a lie. You are, of course, permitted to point out when a post is untrue or factually incorrect.

[racaulk]

48. Then please feel free to alert on my post if you feel I have said something out of line.

You don't think transgendered persons in this forum were "personally insulted" by your posts? Please... :eyes:

And despite this "apology" thread, you continue to act in a boorish, bullying, antagonistic, rude, and disruptive manner in this forum to whose members you supposedly apologized for behaving in such a manner. My apologies to you if calling you out on that behavior somehow offends you, but you have shown no signs of ceasing to be an (to use your term you used to describe yourself) asshole here. This makes your "apology" totally meaningless, and I don't see anything wrong in continuing to point that out.

Oh, and are you ever going to respond to post #25 upthread?

[Zuiderelle]

50. Yes, it's rather dubious to hide behind "personally" since he certainly HAS personally insulted

many people in this forum.

[racaulk]

52. Seriously.

"When I said that having gender reassignment surgery is nothing more than a vanity project, I wasn't saying that you personally were being vain. So how could I have personally insulted you?"

:crazy:

To say that he has never personally insulted anyone here is just an inaccurate (and completely absurd) statement to make.

[Moloch]

54. Oh.. didn't see that. (#25)

That's rather a lot of questions but I'll be happy to answer them tomorrow.

[racaulk]

55. Well, I'll just hold my breath.

That post has been there for two months (as of today, in fact), and you're just now seeing it? Yeah, sure. I would love a response, but I seriously doubt I will get one.

Also, I found it highly ironic that you, of all people, were quoting to me from the Civility section of the DU rules. It seems to me that if you had consistently applied those rules to your own posts in the past, then this OP wouldn't have been necessary...and you and I wouldn't be having this conversation.

[Zuiderelle]

51. LOL! Yes, I have nothing better to do.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=221&topic_id=74815&mesg_id=75169

I guess these must be some of the posts for which you apologized?

How about going upthread and answering some questions now?

[Zuiderelle]

59. K

[racaulk]

60. "I know I find it somewhat difficult being the sole voice of reason on that [the GLBT] forum."

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=4311151#4315774

More assholery noted.

Kickety kick.

[terrya]

61. Yeah, those whiny, flighty queers.

They'll just fly off the handle at ANY little thing. :eyes:

[Zuiderelle]

66. Thanks for kicking this.

We needed a reminder about hollow apologies like this one.

[racaulk]

67. Hollow apologies seem abundant at DU nowadays, don't they?

The fact that they are even necessary points to a larger problem that is not being addressed.

[Duncan Grant]

69. damkira is to the sole voice of reason in this forum as fish are to bicycles

One has to have contempt for the members of this forum to make an assertion like that. He must be lonely up there on that "sole voice of reason" mountaintop.

[closeupready]

70. Yeah, I hope Damkira doesn't think for a second that most of us here missed that.

n/t

[LostinVA]

63. Fuck off

[Zuiderelle]

71. Yes. At least you're consistent.

You're still one.