polyamory

[galledgoblin]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory :"the desire, practice, or acceptance of having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved"

what do you think, is polyamory a GLBT issue?

lately we've all read headlines of the horror in Texas of those poor women and children raised in a polygamous cult environment, and some argue that, no matter what the ages of the people involved, when another person or persons are added to the couple relationship, someone always loses- it's no longer an equal partner relationship.

...also, as a member of the GLBT community, I've had more than one proposition to join into a polygamous relationship purely for sex; a (straight) couple decides the best way to shake up their friday nights is by adding a lesbian...

I personally believe that, between loving and consensual partners, polyamory is perfectly viable. I include polyamory within GLBT issues because poly relationships lack the same rights and protections that GLBTs seek. a few times in my life I've been in close relationships that were one step away from polyamory, and I perfectly understand the desire that others have for such a relationship and wish them well.

...just don't randomly proposition strange lesbians and assume they'll be up for it....

[Kali]

1. are you a strange lesbian?

}(

sorry, this was on the latest posts page and I couldn't resist :blush:

[Crazy Dave]

2. Most Americans only look at it as a sex thing

It's inconceivable and unacceptable to most people that others can actually have the same love and commitment to more than one partner. To them it's all about sex and that's how they think that everyone else thinks.

[ccharles000]

3. If gay people are involved in the relationship...

It is a GLBT issue.

[Zuiderelle]

4. First, the straight couple trying to pick someone up for sex is not the same as polyamory.

I think it is a human/civil rights issue, though I wouldn't take it purely as a GLBT issue. A portion of that couple is "straight" and another portion is "gay." So, someone is denied equality with one of the other partners, but then the same questions come in to play as they do for multi-wife bigamist relationships. Where do you draw the line? Equality is everyone having the same rights, being able to designate one person as a spouse and draw all the same benefits. To allow more than one choice is making it unequal again. (I.e. some people could designate multiple people ranging in ages that would extend the benefits of social security over several generations, theoretically.) Very complicated.

[DarkTirade]

5. Polyamory is something that overlaps largely with GLBT issues

if only because when you have a relationship involving more than two people, you automatically have a relationship outside of the 'normal' gender binary. Whether that be two or more people of the same gender, or people of alternate gender/gender orientations, or just the fact that you have one person with multiple serious partners.

However, in the strictest sense it isn't directly a GLBT issue on its own, it's a sex and relationship issue. Unfortunately some (and by some, I mean most) people can't look past harem-keepers like that psycho cult that was broken up recently, or swingers, or whatever their idea of such polyamory is to see what it can be with responsible adults involved.

It also overlaps with GLBT issues as you said because poly relationships don't have the same protection under the law as couples do, and in the general 'keep the government out of my bedroom/relationship' sense.

So it certainly wouldn't be out of place to discuss it here. This may even be the best place on the site to do so.

[SarahB]

6. What you said.

Plus, poly relationships often stem from one partner being B in the GLBT.

I would also agree with the OP that to proposition a lesbian women for a male-female couple's sex life is disrespectful to her. I'd question in such a situation if the female half of that couple is even bi or it's just silly frat boy male fantasies that made such a inquiry.

[Fearless]

7. There is a BIG difference between polyamory and that cult

There were dozens of children then subjected to what comes down to forced rape. Many are now pregnant or have children.

[galledgoblin]

8. oh, I agree

sorry if that was made at all unclear. when you mention polyamory/polygamy, though, a good deal of people immediately think of cults like that one.

[Fearless]

9. Indeed, just trying to make it clear in case.

[DarkTirade]

10. Yeah, that always annoys me when they use the word polygamy to describe groups like that...

it's not polygamy, it's a harem. Bigamy is the closest term in the english language to describe it. One person with multiple spouses. The women weren't equal partners in that group.

[Marrah_G]

11. One thing that really struck me about the cult

Could you imagine the hell it must be for a lesbian ( I find it impossible to believe there are none)born into that cult? I can't even wrap my brain around that one.

[Fearless]

12. It would be the equivelent of slavery I assume.

[DarkTirade]

13. I don't think my brain can process the difference in the levels of wrongness there.

I mean, you have institutionalized rape/slavery/ect. ... and then institutionalized rape/slavery/ect. where there's even less of a chance that the girls involved may be capable of even wanting what they're being forced to do anyway...

It's like trying to tell the difference between two shades of black.