Sorry I haven't posted in GLBT lately y'all. I been up late making hurricanes

[readmoreoften]

and keeping the stock market down. My friends Bruce, Kitty Divine, and Mykul Jaymes are keeping the Asian markets lower, but whenever they z-motion snap the market shoots back up for a quick second. At least this provides some stock volatility, but I can't say it's totally satisfying. The lesbian faction really wants to cut out all the crap and just sink the economy once and for all in one big ultra-butch shove downward. We're thinking along the lines of "Dow: 1215" and "S&P: 92" and "Nasdeq: 3".

It's tough creating an economic depression with so many of us off starting wildfires in California. Destroying the family and hetero marriages is work enough thanks, but with hurricane season and the wildfires and tanking the market...guess I'm just a busy bee.

When I came out I never knew that I was joining a pantheon of minor deities hellbent on destruction! I always thought I'd be home on the couch eating pizza bites and watching box sets with my significant other. But, just as the Right Wing suspects, 'teh gay lifestyle' is kind of a cross between being the Joker, Zeus, and the Great Pumpkin. It's amazing how we're only %.002 of the population according to the fundies and we're everywhere and all powerful!

Gotta run: I'm off to convince a Pentacostal teenager to fuck her boyfriend, get pregnant, and donate the baby's chubby little body to Satan.

[man4allcats]

1. Keep up the good work!

And best of luck with that teenager! Sounds like she needs to get fucked. Satin Satan could use another child.

[orleans]

2. well, all i can say is that it is good to know you haven't been wasting your time n/t

[MuseRider]

3. Idle hands

ARE the devils tools you know. Good to see you are so busy and not bored. Sounds to me like you need to move a few people into the classrooms for recruitment, you will be needing some rest soon.

I would be very happy if all that power were in your hands rather in the hands of the nutbag fundies.

[Toasterlad]

4. Oh Sure, You Talk the Talk, But How Are Your Recruitment Numbers?

Bringing destruction is all very well, but if we don't succeed in completely destroying the planet in this generation, who's going to finish the job?

I'm proud to say that I gave out 3 toaster ovens just last week.

[TechBear_Seattle]

5. Oo! One more, and you'll qualify for the home theater system n/t

[readmoreoften]

7. It's true, my recruitment numbers have been low since I met my girlfriend.

My main focus before I met her was, indeed, recruitment. My numbers were SOLID. I have twenty-two toasters, an entertainment system, and I earned my pink lesbian pickup truck. But Y2K and 9-11 really excited me, and since then I've been really involved in the plot to destroy life as we know it.

If we work hard, we can accomplish anything!

[TechBear_Seattle]

6. Sweetie, what about your YOU time?

You can't destroy all that is good and pure by yourself. When you take care of that teenager, take a spa day: you've earned it.

[cboy4]

8. Faggots!!11!

Well.....I mean, you know that's what *some* people are thinking.

[Mabus]

9. Come off it! You know you've done more than that.

You wrascally wrabbit you! You've also been successfully infiltrating the media. You know you have! Don't deny it.

There are more gay characters on television than ever before. Now there's even one on "Mad Men". It's like you're trying to say there were gay people in the 60's! It's like you're trying to plant the idea that GLBT people have always been among us. Very clever.

Not to mention that you've managed to get such a toe-hold in cable television. I remember when you slowly took over the daytime shows. A character here and there on the soaps then you started on the talk shows. First you had Rosie. Now you have Ellen. Next were shows on premium cable like "Queer as Folk" and "The L Word". Next thing we all knew you all had taken over whole networks like Logo and Q. But that wasn't enough. No, then you had to go get yourself a top-rated news show with a lesbian host! A woman who is rewriting how political commentary shows are done. She's smart, she's rationale!

But that hasn't been enough, has it? No, someone targeted Lindsey Lohan! You just had to take another wholesome Disney girl. Why wasn't Jodie Foster enough? I hope someone got more than a toaster for her!

:evilgrin:

Oh, by the way, keep up the good work! :thumbsup:

[readmoreoften]

14. Well the Jews and the Commies still control most media, but they're letting us carve a little piece

The Jewish commie queers are completely at the forefront of the media movement. We've been particularly effective in our creation of straight-people porn for the purpose of destroying marriages and teen relationships. All those emails you get offering sex and viagra? Courtesy of teh gay.

[noiretextatique]

10. you're one busy woman

:rofl: it's sickening here in california with all the religionists up in arms about gay marriage.
protect marriage...deny gay people the right to marry :crazy: i wonder how many hetero marriages have fallen apart since the ca supreme court decision?

[closeupready]

11. Excellent, comrade!

:rofl:

[mitchtv]

12. Anyone feel that small earthquake last night in SoCa;?

Just practicing

[readmoreoften]

13. Nice fuckin work, man. Lemme guess: tectonic plates shifted at the sight of your gaytastic six pack.

Sweet. :)

[TechBear_Seattle]

15. No, it was the sex

When the earth moves, it moves. :toast:

[SacredCow]

16. Ummmmmmm.....

I need to talk to you about Gustav- If I'm not mistaken, you're supposed to WARN your fellow homos before sending hurricanes to their area...

:silly:

[Creideiki]

17. I thought you were personally responsible for Gustav

When I checked the minutes of the Homosexual Obligatory Monolithic Organization (HOMO), it distinctly says that you were supposed to be responsible for Gustav. :+

[readmoreoften]

18. Tsk tsk. Somebody missed the meeting...

[SacredCow]

19. All I'm saying is a LITTLE more advanced warning that the Weather Channel gives....

is that too much to ask??? Besides- I missed THAT meeting because I was at the "Making baby Jeebus Cry" seminar...

[Jamastiene]

20. Sounds to me like you are making an effort, but really

you need to keep up with the rest of us a little better than that. The rest of us have done that much by noon already plus delivered our entire 1,000 toaster per day allotment by 1:00 PM. Get the lead out.
































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