These seem like basic universal themes and would apply to gay men and women. :grouphug:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=pto-2576.html&fromMod=emailedLove Is Not All You Need
What makes a relationship work? The importance of listening, teamwork and flexibility.
By: Pepper SchwartzPage
The experience of love is unique for every person, and using that feeling to measure the potential success of a relationship is even more subjective. Nonetheless, at some point most of us face the timeless question of what makes a relationship work. Though we can't quantify love, we can look at variables that help us choose the right partner. Research shows that a few crucial compatibilities make the difference between making up and breaking up.
<snip>
If we are willing to be rational about love, we can learn from others' experiences—and perhaps find and maintain a true love even after the initial chemistry fades.
<snip>
If you want to feel alone in a relationship, be with someone who hasn't a clue about what you are going through. Or worse, someone who does have a clue but cannot understand why your pain is a big deal. The two of you can be totally different people in a number of ways, but if a partner is sensitive to how you see the world and experience life, then those differences are unimportant.
<snip>
Data from The Enrich Couple Inventory, 195 questions developed by David Olson, Ph.D., David Fournier Ph.D., and Joan Druckman, Ph.D., that were administered to 21,501 couples throughout the country. The researchers compared the answers of the happiest couples to those of the most unhappy and found that the differences between their answers to a few key questions tell a lot about what makes love work.
<snip>
"My partner is a very good listener."
Percentage of unhappy couples who agree: 18%
Percentage of happy couples who agree: 83%
"My partner does not understand how I feel."
Unhappy couples: 79%
Happy couples: 13%
"We have a good balance of leisure time spent together and separately."
Unhappy couples: 17%
Happy couples: 71%
"We find it easy to think of things to do together."
Unhappy couples: 28%
Happy couples: 86%
"I am very satisfied with how we talk to each other."
Unhappy couples: 15%
Happy couples: 90%
"We are creative in how we handle our differences."
Unhappy couples: 15%
Happy couples: 78%
"I am very satisfied with how we talk to each other."
Unhappy couples: 15%
Happy couples: 90%
"We are creative in how we handle our differences."
Unhappy couples: 15%
Happy couples: 78%
Making financial decisions is not difficult."
Unhappy couples: 32%
Happy couples: 80%
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