The Bipolar Puzzle

[groovedaddy]

When Claire, a pixie-faced 6-year-old in a school uniform, heard her older brother, James, enter the family’s Manhattan apartment, she shut her bedroom door and began barricading it so swiftly and methodically that at first I didn’t understand what she was doing. She slid a basket of toys in front of the closed door, then added a wagon and a stroller laden with dolls. She hugged a small stuffed Pegasus to her chest. “Pega always protects me,” she said softly. “Pega, guard the door.”

James, then 10, had been given a diagnosis of bipolar disorder two years earlier. He was attending a therapeutic day school in another borough and riding more than an hour each way on a school bus, so he came home after Claire. Until James’s arrival that April afternoon, Claire was showing me sketches she had drawn of her Uglydolls and chatting about the Web site JibJab, where she likes to watch goofy videos. At the sound of James’s footsteps outside her bedroom door, she flattened herself behind the barricade. There was a sharp knock. After a few seconds, James’s angry, wounded voice barked, “Forget it,” and the steps retreated.

“If it’s my brother, I don’t open it,” Claire said. “I don’t care if I’m being mean. . . . I never trust him. James always jumps out and scares me. He surprises me in a bad way.”

I left Claire’s bedroom and found James with his mother, Mary, in their spacious living room, which has a sidelong view of the Hudson River. James is a fair, athletic-looking boy with a commanding voice and a restless, edgy gait. He began reading aloud a story he wrote at school called “The Mystery of My Little Sister.” It involved James discovering Claire almost dead, rescuing her and forming a detective agency to track down her assailant. He read haltingly, often interrupting himself. When his mother asked a question, the roil of frustration that nearly always seethes just under James’s surface, even when he is happy, sloshed over.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/14/magazine/14bipolar-t.html?th&emc=th

[MountainLaurel]

1. What a fascinating article

My heart breaks for all those involved, especially Claire. It's horrible to be so young and living in fear.

[kdmorris]

2. OMG

I cried reading this. This sounds so much like my daughter. The rages, the frustration, the acting out... she's been like that her whole life.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

8. Sorry for your situation.

How old is she now?

David

[Believing Is Art]

3. Mixed Feelings

I try very hard to feel sympathy for those with bipolar. But at some age, you need to be responsible and at least try to minimize the effect your disease has on those around you. I was in an abusive relationship with someone who had bipolar disorder for four years. He could put on one face to the rest of the world most of the time, but would take everything out on me. My life has been left an absolute wreck from which I don't know how to recover, and he's spread so many lies about me that he's been able to get away with everything he's done, so I have no recourse. I realize that someone can't help having this disorder and it is a struggle for that person, but the impact on those around such an individual can be equally bad if not worse.

[grasswire]

4. I care.

My sympathies are with you. I don't have any advice, but I do care very much that you've been victimized. (I was the victim of emotional battering for many years.)

Be well. You deserve better.

[Believing Is Art]

5. Thank you

I'm sorry for what you went through as well. Honestly, the emotional part is worse than the physical part and takes longer to put behind you, if you ever can. Most of the time I forget that there are people who know what it's like, so thank you for reminding me I'm not alone.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

9. Sorry.

I have seen many people who use a diagnoses as an excuse to behave improperly without consequences. I would find a new circle of friends that love you for who you are. Forgiving him may help you more than you can imagine. Say nice things about him in public it won't take long for people to figure out the truth. He sounds like my brother in law, socially retarded and mean. You are a wonderful person, his loss is just that and no reflection on you. Keep your chin up.

David

[Duppers]

11. thanks for this post

I'm copying and emailing it to a friend who does this, i.e. use her diagnosis as an excuse to be irrational.
IF my friend trusts me, as I've asked her, then she needs to think more seriously about whether she's being rational or not when she's arguing with me. So far, this approach has worked to some extent. Although she's not a mean person by nature, I'd feel sorry for anyone who'd try to live with her.

[groovedaddy]

13. Bipolar is bad - my mother had it. My ex - I found out years later - has

boderline personality disorder. Now there is a disorder that, untreated, will create a living hell for those whom they live with. It's one of those illnesses that many shrinks and therapists shy away from, unless they have been trained to treat it.

[Hannah Bell]

6. That's nuts. He was in preschool at 3, & threw a fit when his mom came to pick him up.

This is labeled "pathology".

He throws a fit when his milk's too hot or cold at 4, with a new sister. "Bipolar".

nuts, & i don't mean the kids.

[beam me up scottie]

7. Thank you for that expert diagnoses, Dr. Frist.

:eyes:

[Hannah Bell]

10. just about as expert as yours, doctor seuss.

[beam me up scottie]

14. Right, except I didn't make the diagnoses, you did. Try to keep up, will you?

Do other dietitians think they're qualified to diagnose mental illnesses via the internet, or is it just you?

[Hannah Bell]

15. it's a chat board, not a consulting room, dr. mengele.

unlike some, i don't accept the pronouncements of authority uncritically.

[beam me up scottie]

16. No, actually DU is an internet political forum, not a chat room.

The fact that you think it is the latter explains a lot.

For someone who claims to work in the medical field, the insensitivity towards a child suffering from mental illness exhibited in your post is disturbing.

I'm thankful you're not in a position of authority, we have enough quacks as it is.

[Duppers]

12. yeah, seems a rather typical behavior

for SOME young boys at that age.

Ask me. ;)