A chemist makes chocolate chip cookies.

[NNadir]

THE CHEMIST'S RECIPIE FOR CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

The following recipie for chocolate chip cookies recently
appeared in Chemical & Engineering News.
It was attributed to Jeannene Ackerman of Witco Corp.

Ingredients:
1. 532.35 cm3 gluten
2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4. 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5. 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6. 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7. 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avain albumen-coated protien
9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10. 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an
overall heat-transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr add one,
two, and three with constant agitation.

In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller
operating at 100 rpm add four, five, six, and seven until
the mixture is homogeneous.

To reactor #2 add eight followed by three equal portions of the
homogeneous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add nine and ten
slowly with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point
in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the
result of an exothermic reaction.

Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer place the mixture
piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for
a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first
order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown.

Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25 deg. C
heat-transfer table allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

Some (nerdy/dorky) oldies but goodies here: http://www.yuksrus.com/chemical.html

[Xipe Totec]

1. You forgot the TLC!

Thin Layer Chromatography

:hide:

[greekspeak]

2. Ummmm....you have ruined chocolate chip cookies for me now

They sound nasty when you put the recipe that way.

[Buck Laser]

3. cookies

Calling only on my high school chemistry back in 1950, I get:
1. flour
2. baking powder
3. salt
4. lard
5. refined sugar
6. raw sugar
7. ???
8. two eggs
9. chocolate
10.soy flour

How'd I do?

[NNadir]

5. You have done very well. #7 is...

...vanillin, the active ingredient in vanilla.

[Random_Australian]

9. I hate it when they call it that name! SYSTEMATIC IS BETTER!

Bloody engineers.

[NNadir]

12. I agree. .

4 methoxy-3-hydroxybenzaldehyde is a more descriptive name than vanillin, at least to chemists.

Somehow though, I think the rest of the population might feel differently, but this is a thread dedicated to chemists.

[Hotler]

4. I like that . Thanks for posting. eom

[yankeeinlouisiana]

6. The recipe on Nestle package

sounds better.

:-)

[Ian David]

7. I got that SAME recipe during a tour of The Witco Corp laboratory

This is a true story... Please forward it to everyone that you can...
You will have to read it to believe it...

My daughter and I had just finished a salad at The Witco Corp Cafe & decided to have a small dessert. Because both of us are such
cookie lovers, we decided to try the "The Witco Corp Cookie".
It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe and
Jeannene Ackerman said with a small frown "I'm afraid not."
"Well" I said, "would you let me buy the recipe?"
With a cute smile, she said YES". I asked how much and she responded,
"Only two fifty, it's a great deal!"
I said with approval, "just add it to my tab".

Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement from The Witco Corp
and it was $285.00. I looked again and remembered I had only spent $9.95
for two salads and about $20.00 for a scarf. As I glanced at the bottom
of the statement, it said, "Cookie Recipe - $250.00". That's
outrageous!!!

I called The Witco Corp's Accounting Dept. and told them that Jeannene Ackerman
said it was "two-fifty," which clearly does not mean "two hundred and
fifty dollars" by any POSSIBLE interpretation of the phrase.
The Witco Corp refused to budge. They would not refund my money, because
according to them, "What the waitress told you is not our problem. You
have already seen the recipe- we absolutely will not refund your money
at this point."

I threatened to refer them to the Better Business Bureau and the State's
Attorney General for engaging in fraud.
I was basically told, "Do what you want, we don't give a damn, and
we're not refunding your money."

I waited a moment, thinking of how I could get even, or even try to get
any of my money back. I just said, "Okay, you folks got my $250.00,
and now I'm going to have $250.00 worth of fun." I told her that I was
going to see to it that every cookie lover in the United States with an
e-mail account has a $250.00 cookie recipe from The Witco Corp... for
free.
She replied, "I wish you wouldn't do this"
I said, "Well you should have thought of that before you ripped me
off", and slammed down the phone on her.

So, here it is!!! Please, please, please pass it on to everyone you
can possibly think of. I paid $250.00 dollars for this... I don't want
The Witco Corp to ever get another penny off of this recipe...

[Viva_La_Revolution]

13. actually it was Neiman-Marcus

My daughter & I had just finished a salad at Neiman-Marcus Cafe in Dallas & decided to have a small dessert. Because our family are such cookie lovers, we decided to try the "Neiman-Marcus Cookie". It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe and they said with a small frown, "I'm afraid not." Well, I said, would you let me buy the recipe? With a cute smile, she said, "Yes." I asked how much, and she responded, "Two fifty." I said with approval, just add it to my tab.
http://www.snopes.com/business/consumer/cookie.asp

[BlueJazz]

8. My Special Cookie Recipie

Go Store
Buy cookies
Go home
Get Milk
open Bag
Eat until Gorged

[Occulus]

11. those are also commands in Zork n/t

[OneBlueSky]

10. here's the ingredients for the chocolate chip/lime cookies . . .

that I'm currently snacking on . . .

- white chocolate (chocolate, sugar, butter, milk, soy lecithin, vanilla)
- unbleached wheat flour
- butter
- evaporated canejuice
- eggs
- pure key lime extract
- pure vanilla extract and other natural flavors
- baking soda
- salt

that's it . . . and they taste great! . . .

fyi . . . "Nature's Promise," the Stop & Shop store brand . . .