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Born in the foothills of a European countryside on a small farm near the base of the mountains, I learned several simple pleasures that life had to offer. The smell of rain and the way it seemed to hit my face was always an experience that seemed like none other. And rolling through the unbailed hey and running alongside my playmates through endless fields of edelweiss. I can recall the taste of clover as I chewed on the tart stems, and yet have never tasted anything even resembling it. And the sweet taste of the ripened apples fallen to the ground from the weight of it’s sweet juices. For although these things and senses seem pointless and simple to me now, as a youngster they were of equal value to that of a precious stone, and it is those memories I treasure.
I had a loving and gentle mother, and a father who in my eyes was the strongest and most forthright creature alive. I had two brothers and a sister that possessed for the most part all of the qualities that I had come to admire in both of my parents. Being the youngest I felt that no matter
where I went or what was to come as long as I had my family, all would be fine.
There was a war raging and the world in it’s entirety was in chaos, yet somehow it seemed not to effect us. We could hear the sirens and the bombing from a great distance and at night I remember feeling fear, yet my mother assured me that I was fine and would cuddle me until sweet slumber took over. I knew that my mother loved me, and this was of great
comfort. I enjoyed the warm touch of my mother, and the sweet words of encouragement she continually offered.
The day would come when all of this would soon end and my secure and nurturing home would be uprooted and destroyed. I can’t recall if the men that came that day were here due to the war, I do know that they had uniforms and spoke in a harsh manor. They gathered my family and the ones with in my community and boxed us up as if we were freight for shipment.
Confused and disoriented, I tried to stay as close to my mother as possible. I remember asking her what the reasoning behind this was, but she would not answer. I often wonder now if she declined to answer out of not knowing, or so as to protect me from the fear of what was to come.
We were taken to what almost looked like somewhat of a farm, yet strangely discomforting and unappealing. We were made to sleep with several strangers in large barn like buildings. All of them as confused and fearful as we were. What was happening? Why did they come for us? What was to follow? These were all the questions that crowded my mind as the night went on.
The following morning different men, still in uniform came to gather us. One by one they lead us into a building where we were painfully marked with numbers upon our flesh. We were then required to wear tags
that they said would identify us to the others. I still recall the sobbing I heard that day, with great pain in my soul. They took us in to another building where we were examined by what I think may have been a doctor
and those that were seemingly unhealthy were led away as they were called useless by these men. "Of no value" they said. How could one say a life has "no value"? What was their reasoning?
Days and nights went on in this uncomfortable prison, and it became apparent that I was not going to see my beautiful home in the hills any time soon, if ever. Then the dreadful morning came. The sounds and sights I experienced that day will forever echo in my memory, and taunt me in my dreams. The uniformed men came and gathered many of us an took us to a building I had never been in before. They separated the males from the females and took us to each side of this building. There in front of us we watched in horror as the men in uniform began to slaughter each and every one of the males. I watched helplessly as they beat and shot and cut them about the heads and throats. They took my brother young and in his prime and my father wise and strong and without regard to the value of life, destroyed them right before me. I screamed and turned my head wanting to close out the sights and sounds that were the most terrifying and inhumane.
I was told that I would be good for breeding more for them and my mother would be sent to work in a field not too far from where we were. I was paralyzed with fear. Why us we did nothing to deserve such torment, nor did the others from what I gathered. They seemed to have no mercy, no conscience. Did they not feel love? Did they not have children and wives? Was it because we were different? All of these questions again began to flood my mind, as I saw my life being taken away in a matter of minutes. I still recall the screams of pain, the suffering, the destruction.
Dear God! Please take me away from this, I prayed.
It is now the morning after and I am being loaded up on to a truck and hauled away, where I was going I would never know, nor was I anxious to find out. I only knew that with in me something changed, I no longer looked at the world through innocent eyes, yet more with disgust, anger and hate. How I longed to go back to the days in the fields. I missed that farm, my home.
A place where I could run alongside my playmates in endless fields of edelweiss and run through the hey. Where I could be with my family and we could walk about for hours and be happy, feel love and graze upon the fresh green grass and clover. Where men would not gather us up for slaughter, nor breed us for income, nor force us to work in the fields.
It is a barbaric feeling and to know that humans allow your life and force your birth so that they may feast upon your flesh, drink of the milk created by our mothers, and hold no consideration, nor respect for the life and the soul of a cow.
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