Freeper Cooking & Baking

[FuzzySlippers]

If Free Republic had a Cooking & Baking group, what kind of recipes would they post? I'll start: 20 Ways to Cook Roadkill.

[Nicole]

1. How to cook your neighbor's goose

after stealing it.

[Eurobabe]

2. Squirrel 1000 Ways

[kayell]

3. Ketchup: the only seasoning you'll ever need.

(with apologies to the DU ketchup soup makers)

[Longhorn]

5. As long as it's not Heinz Ketchup! n/t

[NamVetsWeeLass]

6. Great Value Brand Ketchup (read: Walmart) n/t

[Longhorn]

8. I can't believe I accidentally typed "not Heinz ketchup"!

I meant just the opposite! I still love Teresa Heinz Kerry!

[lpbk2713]

4. "1001 Ways to Prepare Bush Beans"

or "My Favorite Pretzels"

[ironflange]

7. Ball Park Franks

As cooked by Frank, the freeper in the commercials. I hate him. I'd boycott Ball Parks, but they're not sold in Canada. Screw it, I'll boycott them anyway!

[Philostopher]

9. New ways to incorporate Velveeta

into your dessert repertoire! Bonus Karo-Velveeta-Spam centerpiece instructions included in back cover.

On edit -- okay, they wouldn't use the word 'repertoire' -- it's French an' all 'at.

[Neecy]

10. heh...

Have you ever seen a copy of "The White Trash Cookbook"? You'd swear it was written for/about freepers.

Almost every recipe contains at least a pound of Crisco, and the photographs will have you laughing so hard you'll cry - fat, toothless people in their totally filthy kitchens deep-frying squirrels and shit. To our FRiends, though, the whole book is probably completely normal and they don't get the joke. It's so sick it's hysterical.

[troubleinwinter]

11. Here is one from that book I found online (creamed meat??)

Mock Cooter Stew

1 1/2 lbs. Ground lean pork
1 cup canned cream
1 1/2 lbs. Of ground lean beef
double pinch of dried mustard
4 cups water
2 tablespoons of flour
salt and pepper
4 hard-boiled egg yolks, chopped into hunks
1 stick oleo
3 cups milk

Cook the meat in the water, salt and pepper. When it‚s tender add the oleo, milk, canned cream and mustard.
Bring back up to hot but do not boil. Put in 2 tablespoons of flour and cook until thick. Add egg yolks and serve.

[politicat]

12. What's a cooter?

EOM

[troubleinwinter]

13. I had no idea....

After you asked, I Googled it and came up with this:

"COOTER" is what you folks call a turtle. In South Carolina we not only watch 'em on logs, we also catch 'em, race 'em, and sometimes if they are slow we eat 'em."



:shrug:

[K8-EEE]

16. UGH!!! THAT IS REALLY GROSS!

It would be fun to read the book though!

[alittlelark]

15. That is one of the funniest cookbooks!!

Too bad I lent mine to my sister.

[K8-EEE]

14. ALL Salads Are Jello Salads!!

And don't cheat me on the canned pineapple tidbits, mayo & mini-marshmellows on salad days!