One week ago I lost another kitten to panleukapenia :-(

[Lorien]

I haven't been able to talk about it without bursting into tears.Little Ronin was a beautiful and sweet half bengal kitten. He and his brother and sister were diagnosed with coccidida about ten days ago. He was on medication and improving Friday night, but Saturday morning he just didn't look right. He was very dehydrated, so I gave him fluids, pedialyte, and nutra-cal, then called the vet. Not long after he took his fluids, he started vomiting and just wouldn't stop. I rushed him to the vet, but within a few minutes of arriving he went into seizure. He was in so much pain-it was simply horrible. The vet recommended euthanasia and I agreed, remembering poor Hecate (Ronin didn't have the fight in him-the virus had hit him so hard). Now his brother, Anjin, and sister, Midori, are at risk. Another foster took them,as she has injectable fluids and antibiotics at home. Please send good karma to Midori and Anjin (panleukapenia has a ten day incubation period), and please, please vaccinate your pets! This disease , like parvo, has become a horrible epidemic in much of the country.

I don't know if I can manage to continue fostering. This is all just too hard. :cry: :cry: :cry:

Ronin:



Midori on left, Ronin on the right:



Midori:



Anjin:

[virgdem]

1. So sorry to hear of your loss...

What a beautiful boy he was. I've been following your posts and you have had quite a bad year with many losses. It must be devastating to lose so many adorable fur babies. I admire you for fostering all of these kittens. I know I couldn't do it, but there are those that can and do foster, with incredible sacrifice to their own lives. I hope that you continue to foster these kittens, as it is so important to start these kittens out so that they can be placed into forever homes.

[roguevalley]

2. what lovely babies. I am so sorry, Lorien. I can't tell you how much

I admire your loving heart. You know, as hard as it is, what kind of life would these angels have, even as short as it was, without you? You were the light of their life, the one loving influence next to their moms that they could have. You do good deeds and God won't forget it. Neither will they. They will be there waiting for you some day. Count on it, honey. Hugs to you and your good and loving heart. Hugs to your little babies.

[Lorien]

3. Thanks rougevalley

I actually went from agnostic to full blown atheist with this last one. I just don't know how an omnipotent, loving force could allow such an insidious and cruel disease to exist. It masks itself as something else, and it's very, very hard to kill the virus once it's come into one's home. I've bleached and disinfected everything possible, but it still may be living in my home for up to a year, searching for another innocent victim. Little Ronin had two people who wanted very much to adopt him. His horrible death made no sense at all. :cry:

[AirmensMom]

4. So sorry, Lorien.

What beautiful kittens! I hope the others stay healthy. They're just gorgeous. Poor little Ronin. :cry: :cry:

[BrklynLiberal]

5. Lorien. I am so very sorry ...I remember only too clearly the agony

that you went thru with Hecate. (I still have her picture hanging up next to my computer)
Anytime you lose such a precious little furbaby it is beyond words.

I will be sending positive energy and white light to you, Anjin, Midori, and for all the little ones who need a little extra help with the horrible disease.

[IndyOp]

6. Lorien - I am sorry for your pain, I am grateful they were with you.

Care of the sick and dying is God's work. The worst part is pain. Pain is with us always in this world. :cry:

Coming into this world and going out are the same kind of magic -- Isabel Allente, for one, has said. She was in her daughter's bedroom when her daughter gave birth to her grandchild. Her daughter died in the same room a few years later. Allente said that the opening in the curtain that divides this world from the other was the same.

Some animals, some people come into this world and never really live. A brief, well-lived life must trump a long, lonely one.

If we all come to this world on a mission to love and be loved, then all of the kitties who reach your home have succeeded in their mission -- whether their life is long or short -- because you have loved them well. All of the kitties whose pics you post here are loved by many - me for one. I miss Hecate, and now Ronin, too.

They are not gone. We are ALL just one being, living with the illusion of separateness for right now. A wave crashing into the beach no longer exists in the same form - the water has simply returned to its true identity - ocean.

Hecate and Ronin are not gone -- and, neither, as I type this through tears, are my furbabies who are sunning themselves in a field just on the other side of the curtain with Hecate and Ronin.

God Bless. O8)

[sadinred]

7. those babies are absolutely beautiful.

I have my fingers crossed for you and your little ones.


I am fostering as well. One of the babies I have has med problems that could get better or could get worse (??), I know how you feel.

[Samurai_Writer]

8. I'm so sorry, Lorien

I think this is one of the reasons I don't foster (besides having no room). It must be so hard to lose animals that you are trying to take care of and find homes for. Know you are in my thoughts.

In better news, Smoke and Sterling were great on the 2000 mile, 4+ day trip from Florida to Colorado, and have adjusted well to their new home. Their coats started filling out even before we got to Colorado. I expect our first snow tonight, so I'll let you know how they react -- neither of them have ever seen snow before!

They both have pretty much stayed curled up on my bed or futon, on top of warm comforters, all week. Such wimpy southern kitties! But I am very happy they have adjusted so well, especially Sterling.

Hugs,
Bella

[ET Awful]

9. Oh Lorien, I'm so sorry :(

The poor little guy :cry: RIP Ronin you sweet little thing.

[demnan]

10. This is so awful!

I know you've put on a brave face with all you've been through the last few months. Just try to remember all the wonderful kittens you've found good homes for and are leading healthy happy lives because of your love and care.

:hug:

[Lisa0825]

11. I'm so sorry.

I'm not religious myself, but you're still an angel for everything you've done for those babies. It must feel terrible to lose one, but you've made life better for so many already. I hope you'll decide not to quit after you have time to grieve.

Thanks for the advice you have given me as a new foster mom.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[Phentex]

12. I'm so sorry!

:(

Hope the other kitties stay well. What cuties!

[ehrnst]

13. Sending good karma.....

[Suziq]

14. Oh, How Sad

You do such wonderful things for these foster kitties. I am so sorry for your loss. What a little cutie he was. :hug:

I am also puzzled how God could hurt these poor little, defenseless animals with such a horrible disease. They offer humans tons of unconditional love and joy and do not deserve this.

I have a paraplegic doxie at home due to spinal disease. To add insult to injury, she now has thyroid problems as well. I ask constantly how much more pain can be inflicted on my poor dog. Leave her alone already! :grr:

[Lorien]

15. Thanks Suziq. I'm so sorry for your doxie

fortunately, thyroid problems can be controlled if caught early enough. Seems like she's had more than her fair share of health concerns! :-( :hug:

[Suziq]

16. Thanks so Much, Lorien

Molly became extremely itchy and started to lose her fur a while ago. We took her to a few vets who kept saying it was allergies. Finally, we found a wonderful vet who diagnosed Molly properly.

She is now on thyroid meds and her fur is growing back. She is now covered with "peach fuzz". :-)

She will be on the thyroid meds for the rest of her life as well as Clamavox to prevent bladder infections.

This is my sweet girl last fall. You can see the fur loss starting on her back.

[Branjor]

19. Suziq

Give your little Molly gentle hugs from me!

[Lorien]

20. Such a face!

it's easy to tell what a sweetie she is from that expression alone!

[superconnected]

17. This is terribly terribly unfair to you.

I'm so sorry to hear this.

Perhaps because they have an excellent home for the short time they are on earth is why you get them. But agreed, too heart wrenchingly sad.

There is nothing you can do about it. I hope you can find comfort for your sadness.

[Branjor]

18. I just want to add

my sincerest condolences to you on the loss of Ronin and good thoughts and vibes for the other kitties.

RIP little Ronin!

I think you do wonderful work rescuing the animals!

[Lorien]

21. Thanks for all your kind words. I still haven't decided if I'll continue

fostering-or if the rescue will allow me to. The other part of the story is that while I was at the vet (at a PetsMart Banfield) a woman from our rescue (who I didn't know) was contacted. She came to the office and yelled at me asking "how could you let this happen?' and "How could you let him get this bad? Why didn't you see a vet sooner"? I explained that I had been to a vet three days earlier, and that he had been improving the previous night but took a turn for the worse in the morning (it was around 11am when she arrived, and I had only awoken at 9am). She basically said that I had no business fostering, and I haven't heard from anyone at the rescue since, except one brief message to say that the other two seemed to be getting over the coccidia and showed no signs of the panleukapenia (but that can change in an instant). It's bad enough to feel so guilty for not being able to save Ronin, but now it looks as if the rest of the rescue has lost confidence in me as well. they've all lost dozens of kittens to the same disease this year-and nearly as many puppies to parvo-maybe they don't want a foster who costs them so much money by going to the vet so often (this was the third trip to the vet for Ronin). I just don't know. :-(

[demnan]

22. Well they'll lose a good one if they let you go

I'm sure you did everything humanly possible for those kitties. To see how you love your own, one can see that.

[BrklynLiberal]

26. That is such an unfair attitude, and a really cruel thing to do to you.

After all, we all know that you are mourning the loss of the kitten more than any of them, since you were the one fostering him, and had more of an emotional attachment than any of them!!!
On one hand they are upset that you did not come to the vet sooner, and on the other they are upset that you are incurring such high vet costs!!!

I am very disappointed that a rescue organization could be so cold hearted to someone who has done so much to help them and spread the word about what they have done, and encouraged us to send them donations.

How can it be so obvious to US how caring and loving you are, and not to them?
Please do not be discouraged...it is not your fault if these kittens were struck by this horrible disease. They most likely had it when they came to you, and you are as much a victim as they were, since it was such an emotional hardship for you.

None of us will ever forget what you went thru with Hecate. In fact, I have no doubt that if the vet had allowed you to do what you wanted, she would have done better that she did...but that is another story.

Please do not allow this experience to deter you from sharing your love with other rescues. Perhaps you need to take a bit of time off, but do not make it a permanent "vacation". There are too many little furbabies out there that will thrive and grow from the benefit of your loving nature. Besdies, we all love those pictures you share with us too much to go too long without seeing them
:hug: :pals:

[Lisa0825]

29. I second this.

Plus, if there has been an epidemic in the area, I bet it had nothing to do with the kitten being in your house. With that attitude, that rescue organization may not deserve your assistance. You could still do your own rescuing without them. There are plenty of furry kids out there that need rescuing.

:hug:

[Lorien]

33. Thanks BrklynLiberal

fortunately it was only the "second in command" at the rescue that gave me such a hard time. Unfortunately she's just one of those people that you often find in animal rescue groups-she seems pretty hostile towards her fellow humans.I can understand that one often sees the worst in people doing what she does (especially when we take in abused animals) but it's important to also notice that many are trying to help, and only want the best for those who can't help themselves. Her harsh words just came at a bad time; I was already beating myself up for not INSISTING on the panleukapenia test at the vet's just a few days earlier.

I'm taking a much needed vacation with DUer SiouxJ next week, and hopefully I'll return with a clearer head and decide were I want to go from there (if I don't foster, then I'll work as a fundraiser for them or another rescue).

Thanks again for your kind words :hug:

[Lisa0825]

23. I'm sorry if this is a stupid question, but...

You mentioned getting cats vaccinated... is there a vaccine for this disease? If you can't be sure you've rid your house of the germ, can you just take in cats after they have been vaccinated?

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[Lorien]

24. Yes, the feline distemper vaccine can help prevent it

and these kittens had had one booster, but every foster home and shelter in this area has been exposed to panleukapenia. I thought my home was more immune than others because my "kitten room" is tiled and easy to bleach (plus I got rid of all the fabric items when Hecate had it). Unfortunately, the virus can also be in their systems at birth, from what the vet explained to me, and another illness like coccidia can lower their immune systems enough for it to take hold. Once it does take hold it's rare for kittens to survive more than 24 hours. :-(

[Lisa0825]

25. how many boosters does it take to know they are protected?

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope you'll find a way to be able to continue your foster work, when the time is right. Maybe your home was clean, and the baby already had it. Either way, I know it hurts.

:hug:

[Lorien]

28. Two, but I don't know how old they need to be for

the second. they were around eight weeks old when they got the first.

[Eurobabe]

27. So sorry Lorien, another tragedy

I guess this comes with the desire to save, that we must prepare ourselves for a loss. It's terrible all these poor kittens that we have seen cross the bridge WAY TOO EARLY the past few months.

You are an angel for what you do. I don't think I could handle it. :hug:

[Lorien]

30. Good news! Midori and Anjin have made it through the ten day "danger

period" and are doing great! Usually the entire litter falls victim to panleukapenia if one has it (remember Prozacnation's horrible experience), especially if it's the newer mutation of the virus, which kills very quickly (I think that's what Ronin had), but somehow these two had strong enough constitutions, plus Shelley's injectable medications probably really helped them keep it at bay. Thanks for all the good karma, everyone!

:grouphug: :loveya:

[BrklynLiberal]

31. So glad for the good news! I think you are owed some apologies.

:grouphug: :loveya:

[prozacnation]

32. That's great news!

I am so happy to hear that the other two kittens have remained healthy. What a horrible virus! I remember my foster kittens dying like it was yesterday. There are some things that you just don't forget. No matter how hard you try.

I am very sorry that your rescue group didn't stand behind you. Every group experiences the loss of kittens and puppies. Blaming each other is ridiculous. The most experienced foster in the world can bring home a sick kitten without knowing it.

After my experience I took a break and then I went back to fostering. Of course I bleached and cleaned the small area where the sick kittens were kept. I only took on kittens that had two vaccinations and kept them in a different part of the house. I had no repeat problems.

Losing a litter was devastating. I was a basket case and it took some time for me to recover. Take the time you need and then decide if you want to continue on with your current organization, find a different rescue group or just stop fostering.

No matter what you decide know that you did your best. I wish you well.

[Lorien]

34. Thanks so much Prozacnation

I know that you understand exactly how I've been feeling. One feels so helpless against that horrible disease! I may indeed follow your lead by only taking in kittens who had a full course of feline distemper vaccines. I have a small house, and there isn't much of an additional space anywhere to keep them-but I may get my hands on some medical disinfectant that's more powerful than bleach and have a go at the room with that. I've bleached the floors, walls-everything-a number of times, but it still may not have been enough. I think having vaccinated kittens only in there may be the way to go.

:hug:

[Lisa0825]

35. I am so happy to hear that!!!

:hug: