My daughter wants a kitten

[TrogL]

There's already two cats in the house. She complains that one cat is pretty much mine (it hates everybody, just me less), one is my partner's (it loves everybody, just follows him around the house) and she wants one that is "hers".

The problem is, she has this delusion that cats/kittens are trainable and she isn't necessarily going to be around (she works) at the times when kitty is bonding, so I'm afraid it's going to bond to me instead of her (assuming the other two don't kill it or something).

It's bad enough trying to read with two cats in my lap.

[Lorien]

1. Cats are very trainable

it's just that traditional methods don't work. Clicker training (www.clickertraining.com ) works very well. I taught my Maine Coon to come when called, give a high five, sit up, jump up or down from furniture, etc.Also, male cats (in general) bond more with their people, especially with women. It's a good idea to research cat breeds and their personalities before adopting any. A cat that is part or all Siamese will be an "in you face" and very talkative cat, while a Maine Coon or Siberian will be more of a "buddy"; he'll follow you from room to room, but they aren't as big on laps.

[demnan]

2. How old is your daughter?

and is she ready to assume the "janitorial duties" necessary daily of a cat lover? Is she ready to come home from school and feed her cat and love her cat before resuming her other teenage activities?

If so, she should have a cat, but talk to her about the time contraints and that she will be responsible for these things. And use your judgement about the verasity of her responses.

[haele]

3. If she's not going to be taking care of the kitten most of the time -

Kitty will bond to whomever it sees in the "mommy" role. It's also not fair to a kitten to keep it in limbo while your daughter is at work or at school so that she and only she can play mommy. You'll end up with a totally neurotic beast. She might be able to "pull it off" with two kittens and keep them in her room when she's not at home, but still, it's not fair to kitties.
BTW, most "pet behaviorists" I've read suggest that cats will be healthier if they're kept in "pairs" - as in, if you have two elder cats, introducing two kittens is better than introducing one or even three kittens. I don't know if it's bunk or not, but I do know that it's easier to keep two cats than one.

Now, if she works in a shop where they'll allow a "shop cat", she can tote the kitten around with her to bond - which wouldn't be a bad idea; leash train the kitten and you can take her anywhere. One of my rentmates was able to do that with her orange tabby (take him to work and school with her), and that cat was one of the coolest "trained" kitties I've ever met.

If she still wants a critter for herself, get her a rattie (or two - to keep each other company when she's not there) - from what I see with ours, they tend to "bond" to the household as a family unit, not just to a human "mommy". And if they're part of the house, most housecats won't see them as prey after a while.

Haele

[Longhorn]

4. We have four dogs and each was brought home by one of our kids.

Most of them had the expectation to take them with them when they moved out. None of them did that. In fact, our oldest daughter got ANOTHER dog when she could have taken the one she brought home!

So if you decide to let you daughter have a cat, be prepared to have a third cat in the family permanently!