I have been thinking..

[rumpel]

Over so many years, I have studied, and worked on myself - and worked on what I want to do, then I see the beneficial star energies, and I do not seem to be able to connect or ride the energies.

Is it self sabotage? Some thought forms? core beliefs? Or is there someone out there sending me negative energies? etc.
My friend healer did some testing & clearing, and found in fact core beliefs of: I am invisible, I am not worthy, I am useless and all of that sort of thing and traced it back to age 7. And that is exactly where I go with my thoughts, and in extreme times - that I should not "be", when my efforts just do not seem to bear fruit - even though I know better.
More or less, I think many of us grew up "invisible", in an authoritarian home. It just was the way of parenting in many cultures and households.

Then I listened to Liz Tobin's archived show, and it so happens it was about clearing family patterns, some of the things she said made me think, and she also said it is all on her website and there is no need to take notes. It is an ad for her upcoming series, but what she says made enormous sense.

For example she says:

People whose death, disgrace or misfortune was advantageous to any member of your family may also be impacting you today. For instance in Nazi Germany some people benefited from the confiscated property of the Jews. If the people who received the confiscated property did not honor and appreciate the sacrifice that was made on their behalf, then this creates a great weight and dissonance in their family system. And this dissonance is carried through to the present day.

Victims and perpetrators of your ancestors are also included in your family system. For example if your ancestor was at the Battle of Normandy and he killed an "enemy" soldier, then that deceased soldier is included in your family system. If your great-great grandmother's niece was raped, then her perpetrator is included in your family system.
Rupert Sheldrake's morphic field theory is in fact speaking of this, too.

and then:

Each family has its own set of rules called the family conscience and we unconsciously adhere to these rules.
We are also unconsciously driven by the conscience of the groups to which we belong.

If we break these rules our family conscience tells us that our right to belong is in jeopardy. Many of these rules may not serve us and indeed, they keep us in limitation. So, in order for us to grow, we need to break some of these rules. This inner conflict generates very unpleasant feelings. When you try to move beyond the "acceptable" behavior of these holographically nested consciences, you may feel guilty, ashamed and threatened.

Finally - for me, I think I can identify with this:

You can unconsciously take on your great-grandfather's depression or your mother's anger, your uncle's anxiety, or your third cousin's hopelessness. When you give back an inherited emotion your whole family benefits: You honor your ancestors and give them back their dignity, while at the same time you liberate yourself.

So I am working on working through this, of at least identifying what I know...for the time being. I hope there is something you find useful on her page, too.

http://liztobin.com/groups/CFP09.html

[Why Syzygy]

1. Some day

we just have to get to a place where we say, "I am good enough".

Recently I heard from someone who has given up a perpetual search for spiritual significance and just started living. She sounds wonderful, safe and secure.

[get the red out]

3. I like that!

Living! Who would have thought that's what we are here to do? :D And if my spirit isn't "good enough" then whose is and isn't?

Something hit me like a ton of bricks a couple of days ago, and it relates to this discussion; a cousin of mine is a seriously terrified right winger and displays this often on his Facebook page. I was thinking about this and was suddenly struck with the knowledge that he is depressed, VERY depressed. Then I recalled the constant state of depression our grandmother suffered from and it all came together in my mind, like the download of information people mention here sometimes. So many of us in the family have borne this particular burden at one time or another, but how we dealt with it has been so different, our journeys so different. At least mine and my sister's have been quite different from his. Depression can make someone look outside themselves for the source and in that scanning we tend to come up with one, in his case it is anything that he is told deviates from his strict religious belief (which seems anything but spiritual). Our Grandmother's source was the untimely death of her 2nd oldest child, and since he could never be brought back to this Earth she really never recovered. So sad. I was told as a child I would never know the woman she had been.:-(

My $.02, not nearly enough for a Hot Soy Chai at Starbucks, but an interesting topic.

[rumpel]

5. that is one of the ancestors' trauma

when she includes all those we do not even are aware of no wonder that many feel they carry a huge load of burden on their shoulders.
The relief is that she says, it is not ours - and I especially like the fact, that she says we give it back and restore the original traumatized person's dignity. An interesting concept.

[OneGrassRoot]

4. +1 :)

Yep, I like that, too. Just live. :)

While I still go back and forth with my proverbial Virgo "need to understand" now and then, I no longer have a desire to know my purpose or search for spiritual significance, as you say.

The first life-altering death I experienced years ago (my son was stillborn) triggered a quest for meaning, spirituality, etc.; the passing of my dad a couple of years ago led to me truly learning to live in the moment and just be, without needing to grasp the spiritual significance.

Both were of value in leading me to this point.

:hug:

[rumpel]

6. In this 3D world laden with judgments and critisism

I think, especially now (many lost jobs, homes, retirement funds) in a society where money is the value of a person. it is difficult to live, and be able to say I am good enough.

But I understand the point.

[Celebration]

2. Did you join that group?

In any case, yes, we carry with us ALL the baggage of our family whether we specifically knew them or not. Identifying the issues is more than half the battle. They can be cleared but then can come up again in another context, so this is a continual process.

I remember telling here the funny (or not so!!) story of tracing an eye problem my husband was having back to a grandmother that went bananas when she started her period, and was furious beyond belief that noone had told her to expect that. I mean, we figured it out by muscle testing. Yeah, the eye problem subsided after that. In any case, the number of ways that this stuff can manifest is absolutely mind boggling.

Most of our parents and families meant well, loved us, and insofar as they create problems in our lives, it is basically unintentional. They are only passing along THEIR patterns. And, I do think a big helping of forgiveness can be helpful most of the time.

[rumpel]

7. No, I can not afford it.

I agree forgiveness, compassion and respect is a big part of it.

[OneGrassRoot]

8. Check this out...

I was getting ready to log off for the evening and this came in email. I thought of you and this thread. :)


December 3, 2009
Unearthing Your Roots
Knowing Your History

Each of us is a piece of a larger puzzle. We are all born into the unique and complex network of individuals, settings, and circumstances that constitute our heritage. Whether or not you are aware of your ancestors, you family’s country of origin, the cultural history of your people, or the trials faced by the people responsible for bringing you into the world, these forces have had a hand in shaping your values. Knowing your family history and reflecting often upon your own personal history as it relates to your heritage empowers you to look at your life in a larger historical context and to understand that you are a vital part of an ongoing drama greater than yourself.

Researching your heritage can prepare you to meet the future. The traits of your ancestors can give you insight into how your character has developed and the beliefs that form the foundation of your worldview. The knowledge you gain can help you appreciate your values and your character, giving you the confidence to be more expressive where both are concerned. At a cellular level, you carry a genetic code from your family determining things like how you age, your blood type, and personality traits. But as a spiritual being you bring in what you chose to do with that genetic coding, your free will. Unearthing your heritage is not simply about uncovering who did what when or reconnecting with long-lost relatives. Rather, it is a method of building self-awareness and bridging the gulf that divides your past from your future.

In researching our individual histories, however, we may encounter relatives who made interesting choices or were involved in traumatic events. It’s easy to overestimate the importance of these pieces of our past and to cling to them. Balance is key. While your heritage has influenced the development of the person you are today, you are more than an ethnicity, a culture, or a family name. You should not feel driven to alter your likes and dislikes, dreams, preferences, or values because you feel your heritage demands it. Knowing your history is about loving who you are, understanding where you’ve come from, and preparing for your future.

http://www.dailyom.com

[Shallah Kali]

9. family systems or dynamics theory actually covers a bit of that idea

that we are the product of our at least immediate ancestors experiences or maybe more precisely their emotional reactions and how they deal with it and how that behavior teaches their kids and then their kids teach their kids and so on. I have only read a couple self-help books that touch on it so I am no expert, it just struck me at how that mirrored what I had experienced energetically feeling that yes here is my grief/anger/whatever over this that and the other and here is another packet of grief/anger/whatever that I could feel the 'taste' of personality so I knew who it came from. http://books.google.com/books?id=BEuEbtEljLYC&lpg=PA232&vq=genogram&dq=s%20harriet%20lerner&client=firefox-a&pg=PA199#v=snippet&q=genogram&f=false

If you feel that this might be part of your inhibition it might be skilful to experiment and see if this helps you with the issue. I have done ancestor work figuring that even if it is only 1% of the issue well that is 1% less I will be dealing with while trying to fix what is my own STUFF.

Oh here is an article from Reiki magazine about how one Reiki Master experimented with Ancestral healing that you may find intersting:
http://www.reiki.org/reikinews/reiki%20ancesters.html

Ancestral Healing Meditations
http://consciousprints.com/id81.html


Clearing Your Ancestral Blocks

Taken from the book Healing Your Family Pattern
http://www.kch42.dial.pipex.com/ancestral.htm

[Shallah Kali]

10. a thought

as sending energy creates a connection if you choose to try to assist the healing of an ancestor that may not have been a nice human you might find it useful to send to that person's High Self or high energy spirit guide to be then relayed to that person. I am empathic so I tend to pick up more emotional energies than I am comfortable with at the best of times so I use this technique myself a lot.