Dream help?

[lildreamer316]

Ok..let me set up the relationship first.

Back when my old fiance was alive, we had a friend; a guy. He and I became like best friends for awhile.We would go drink together and run errands and such. Sure, I know there was an attraction; but to our credit we never, ever acted on it during my relationship. We never even said anything to each other that could not have been repeated in front of my fiance. But we had such a strong bond that he would call me every day, even from his 2-week desert training (he was a Marine gunny sgt. in the reserves). Every day. We knew when we were thinking about each other. It was...crazy. Wonderful. Horrible.

I was young, and my fiance and I had a very tumultuous relationship; both of us had cheated before and knew it. But we were working on it.

Well, we were all about riding motorcycles. One day I had to work, and several of the guys went for a ride. He was one of them (the friend); and so was my fiance.

That was the day my fiance never came back.

So, of course that was pretty much the end of my friendship with this guy.
Although; we did end up 'being together' a couple of times..but it was not good, and we ended up parting ways soon after that.

Of course his guilt was killing him, and I understand that. It hurt me that he could not value our bond over that, but I know I should have been able to understand. It's just that I have such a different view of death than other people..I don't think he had any way of understanding the big picture like I did, and I think I expected him to - and was surprised when he didn't. I saw it as a natural course of life; as the fact that as sad as it was; my fiance had chosen to move on and had given me a very loving gift..he forced me to grow up.

I guess what I say is left unresolved is the wonderful friendship love that this man and I shared. Sure, it could have been romantic or whathaveyou,but most of all we were friends. That's what I miss the most, I think. But knowing him, he wanted the whole white-picket-fence-and-two-point-three kids thing. He also had a slight madonna-whore complex thing; his first wife was an exotic dancer;and I think he thought that another exotic dancer could not be a good wife. Also, at the time I had said I did not want kids. So he went back to his old girlfriend who was very strict on him; married her; and had a son. It's what he's always wanted and I am really (REALLY!:)) happy for him. I had put all this to bed, I thought, a long time ago. We were not meant to have any sort of contact, obviously, because 1)his guilt is too much; and 2)his wife would not be comfortable with it. I made my peace with it and moved on.

..but he's been showing up in my dreams lately, like several of them. In a very-edge-of-sexual way. If it was just one 'resolving the issue in my psyche' dream I would have just marked it down for that; but it's been definitely more than one.

Is it him? or me? Is he trying to resolve the issue?

(Damned Gemini that he is..lol)

[BlueIris]

1. I'd say that something about this person isn't totally resolved for you.

Most likely, your unconscious feelings about what the relationship with the friend meant. (You mention his guilt, but is it possible you have some measure of guilt to resolve as well? Not saying you "should" feel guilty, but...might be something to take a look at.)

I'd also say it's possible the dream was more "about" the loss of your fiance than this friend. I understand that having a sense of the big picture can help us process grief more completely, but I think there are some losses that can't really be better resolved simply because of one's spiritual awareness. Finally, in my own life, there are times I've used my sense of the big picture as an excuse to avoid processing painful experience on an emotional level. So...maybe a re-examination, however brief, of your finace's death is in order.

Finally, Mars is retrograde. It's common, in my experience, to have dreams of "Mars" things from the past during the planets retrogradation (Mars, of course, is connected with stuff like men, sex, sexuality and violence, all of which seems to be important to your dream.)

[MorningGlow]

2. Seems like "unresolved" is the operative word here

It's obvious from your description of your past with this man that he is a member of your soul group, and members of our soul groups are never really gone for good, in this dimension or others. No matter what kind of relationships we've had with them, or how they've "ended" this time around, our soul family members do check in with us on a regular basis, either in real life or on the astral plane--whichever works best at any particular time.

The question now would be...has anything happened in your life lately that would remind you of this man, or would call him to your side? (If you can't think of anything at all, it could be on his end.) And that doesn't necessarily mean seeking resolution at this point in time--it could just be a general caring for one another, looking out for one another, that inspires a "visit".

I also like BI's mention of Mars retrograde--that could definitely be a factor.

How are you at lucid dreaming? Perhaps you could have a conversation with him. If not, I've found that asking the angels for help/clarification brings interesting follow-up dreams. Sometimes they're crystal clear...sometimes they're clear as mud ;)...but you always get something.

Another option is what my former coven members and I used to call the Karmic Kafe--I believe I've mentioned it before--where you do a meditation that takes place in any kind of cafe/public meeting place of your choosing. You call the person to you, and you both sit down and have a heart-to-heart over coffee or ice cream or a beer or vindaloo or whatever ;) Doable, you think?