Cross-posted, at tango's request:

[elleng]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=9282783&mesg_id=9282783

[tango-tee]

1. Thanks, elleng!

You're such a kind soul and from reading your recent posts you're going through a rough patch.

I'm sending much love and many, many good vibes your way! :hug:

[elleng]

2. Thanks, tango. I do have some 'issues,' as you suggest!

But not all bad! Happy daughter is VERY important!

What do you think of this, about dreams? LOTS of recent dreams about having a baby! ME! But heck, I've had 2 already, the most recent 21 years ago! LAST NIGT, I was CONSULTING WITH MY MD! NONE of the dreams have had ANYTHING UNHAPPY about them! Think I'm ready for a grand-baby???

[tango-tee]

3. Yes you are, sweetie! Here's the deal.

Being a grandma is great! You get to do all the wonderful things (i.e. preparing artery-clogging, cavity-inducing lunches and snacks which your grandbaby's mother/father detest, being silly to the point where any sane human being suspects that you have finally gone off the cliff, etc.), but once your adorable grandchild turns into a real pain in the ass, you can call Mom and Dad and ask them to come get the little monster *they* have raised (kidding! I'm only kidding!).

Kidding aside... for years and years I've been dreaming of houses or apartments. In nice downtown neighborhoods, which as the dream goes on turn into war zones. No obvious violence, only the threat of somthing ominous... Huge apartments with multiple (!) kitchens. Problem being that in one, there is no water. In the next, there is no stove or electricity. Then there are various bedrooms and bathrooms with glass walls from floor to ceiling and no sense of being protected in my own four walls. At first glance, all looks great. But upon closer scrutiny it all turns to crap.

I need Architectural Digest's editor for my dreams. Arrrgh.

[Cleita]

4. Hi elleng and tango-tee.

I'll answer here, not in the lounge. Something like that happened to a friend when his father died in the hospital. When he was driving to the funeral home to make arrangements, his father's favorite song played on the radio. He too felt as if his father was saying good by.

[Kind of Blue]

5. Hi, Elleng and Tango-tee.

There is one response I disagree with - that it was your mind sending you comforting images. I think it was your Dad who did. But we could say, Okay, you were grieving and you needed it and you soothed yourself. But what if one is not grieving?

I didn't post this in the "Bittersweet" thread of my sister's experience because I'm still a little surprised. On Friday night, I turned in early after a very rough day that ended very well. I had the television on and turned off the lamps, so it was a little dark, still light outside so I could see everything clearly. I'm lying there thinking of my day and the next problem-solving move.

At the foot of my bed appeared a well-dressed young man and I said "What???!!!" He vanished immediately. So I told him that if he was there for my higher good that he could hang out but if not to get the hell out of here. The man, African-American, about 20-25 years old wearing a yellow satin-like vest, white open collar shirt with ruffles at the sleeves, well-pressed dark pants - I could see the creases. He was not very tall, muscular, squared shape built like a bull, neat close cropped haircut.

My husband came into the room when he heard me yell. And I told him about the guy, thinking he was from colonial times or something - because of the ruffles. He's a history buff so I got a long lesson :boring: on African-Americans in the Southwest - he just gets too much pleasure from details. But before he left the room, he asked could he be Mr. Green? I'm like but this was a very young man. "Well," he said, "they're built the same, about the same height, and remember Mr. Green was a professional boxer in his youth."

But Mr. Green was always casual - never ever saw him dressed up. Jeans and t-shirts was his uniform. So I told my sister the next morning and she said many of their conversations were about his youth and his love of clothes that grew unimportant along the way. She will check with his son about the ruffles :D

Really, I didn't need comforting. I already believed Mr. Green is adjusting and he did a great job uplifting people's spirits in life. His motto was "What will be will be." I knew him as an old man, a stocky gent, and have never been in his home nor seen photos of him in his youth.

Although my sister grieves, I know one day she will remember him and not cry and be filled with the joy of knowing him. Maybe I stored the memory of knowing he was a boxer and imagined him in his youth. But I know what I saw. And I do believe that he came for me to tell my sister that he's in top form and is doing just fine, just like your Dad :hug:

[MorningGlow]

6. That could very well be, KoB

While I was doing research for an article on ghosts, I read that adult departed spirits don't appear as they did when they died (old age), but instead in their prime. (I also find it quite interesting that the latest trend in obits in the newspaper is to include a photo of when the elderly departed was young. Are people figuring out some stuff, perhaps? :D )

My dad died six years ago, and I never dreamed of him till a few months ago. In my dream, he was younger, physically fit, and not hunched. He looked quite happy, too. :)

Please keep us posted if--would love to hear if you really did see Mr. Green!

[Kind of Blue]

8. Oh, my. I'm so sorry to hear of your dad's passing.

But equally happy that he visited you! I know what a great feeling that must have been :hug:

Yeah, I can't wait to get confirmation.
I have to admit, after reading how you handled the spirit haunting the historic house in New Orleans, I was determined never to be afraid again. But I doubt he'd come back after that yell I let out, not scared but just shocked.

[MorningGlow]

9. Thank you

He was 79, had cancer, and had lived a year without a stomach--I didn't even know that was possible, but lo and behold, it is, although it's not much fun--so it was expected and, dare I say it, timely.

Anyway, LOL of course you yelled! Anyone would, if a stranger suddenly appeared in their room like that!
:rofl:

[Kind of Blue]

10. Conclusion.

Yesterday, Mr. Green's son was packing up his dad's stuff when she went by to talk. She explained the weirdness of her family and told him what I saw.

First, he remembers the yellow vest from his childhood. I'm shaking right now.
Second he remembers the shirt but it was more ruffled in his memory. I just saw ruffles at the end of the sleeve.
Third, he took out photo albums showing his dad as a very buffed and handsome young man wearing lots of fine clothes.

He said if that's what she saw, then she's describing my dad of many years ago.

Feel just awful because I yelled at him.

on edit: forgot to include that he said thanks and they had a big tight hug :hug:

[MorningGlow]

11. OMG!

How amazingly cool. Don't feel bad about shouting--I'm sure as he gets acclimated to his new...condition? state?...he'll completely understand that he can now startle people. ;) If it's still bothering you, you could do a meditation and call him in to say a proper hello.

Still--how great that he dropped in on the person who was most likely to see him. That reminds me of when my grandmother died (many years ago)--my mom, who is usually practical to a fault, told me that she dreamt that grandma (her mother) appeared at the foot of her bed to reassure her that she was all right. I reminded her of that dream a little while ago--and she said she doesn't remember it!

[Kind of Blue]

13. Thank you, MG.

Had a nice session for a proper hello and to apologize :)
your mom is funny. mine does the same thing, saying her dad came, refuses to talk about it, fascinated and scared and actually says I wish he'd just stay over there and then does the sign of the cross. :rofl:

[MorningGlow]

16. "I wish he'd just stay over there"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Heeeee that really tickled my funnybone! Kudos to your mom!
And boy howdy am I familiar with "the sign of the cross as a reflex"! I can just see your mom doing it! :rofl: Does she do the "knuckle kiss" thing at the end or leave it off?
:rofl:

My mom actually has a marvelous selective memory. If something disturbs her, she just erases it from her memory bank. She did the same thing when I told her I was a pagan a number of years ago. We talked about it in great detail, but when I reminded her of our conversation, she honestly had no idea what I was talking about!

[OneGrassRoot]

14. Oh my.....

THAT. IS. SO. COOL. :)

I agree with MG -- don't feel bad! I'm sure he knows you were simply startled.

I've never had an experience like that. Not that I recall....

The only comparable thing was right after my father passed away, three years ago 3/24. You guys may recall that he was never sick a day in his life. Very healthy, vibrant, 62. Had a massive heart attack while cutting grass one Saturday morning and was gone in an instant.

Everyone was in shock. We still are, especially my mom....

Their dog, Abby, was my dad's baby. He traveled quite a bit and she couldn't wait until he would return home. Abby slept with my parents without fail.

A few days after dad passed -- either the day before or of the funeral -- I was staying with mom in the guest bedroom and Abby came in, quite startled. She slept with me that night and had to be touching me or else she was unsettled. If I had my hand on her, she was fine. Very, very unusual.

The next morning mom couldn't believe that Abby didn't sleep with her, so I told her how funny Abby acted. Mom proceeded to tell me of a "dream" she had, that dad visited her. That he was right there. She said it felt so real.

I told her I have no doubt he WAS there. That's what Abby reacted to. I'm certain. He "felt" different in some way and it was unsettling for her.

My oh my, these veils between worlds....

:grouphug:

[Kind of Blue]

15. Aww, OGR, My condolences

to you and your mom.

I have No doubt your dad visited. Sweet Abby, I bet that she was skittish because your dad couldn't come through clear enough but it was easier to make contact through dreams. When I was 16, something traumatic - all good though - happen the day almost to the instant my grandfather died, and still not knowing of his death, it wasn't until a few days later that he appeared only to below the knees, smiling. Didn't remember him but my mother fell apart when I described him to her.

"The veil between worlds," I think that's quite a literal thing and an apt description :hug:

[NuttyFluffers]

7. what a beautiful story! what a fortunate experience.

we're a kinder bunch around DU here, so don't worry about being considered "off your lid" as it were. :hug:

[tango-tee]

18. I think so, too.

Very understanding of the "off" things in each others' lives.

Thank you, my dear friend.

[kentauros]

12. Thanks for the crosspost

It was nice to read those accounts :)

I enjoyed that thread, save for the one belligerent detractor.
That detractor appears to have been TS'd overnight, too...

[tango-tee]

17. So sorry my reply is a little late,

but I've gotten caught up in the daily business of running to and fro.

There are so many people to whom all that counts is what they can physically grasp. And while I may at times wonder about what is happening, the sight of that railroad engine soothed my soul. I knew deep down in my heart it was Dad's farewell.

Thank you for your kind words, dear kentauros.

[kentauros]

19. You're welcome, tango-tee

even though I didn't have a whole lot to add there ;)

I like some trains, but can't say I like living near one (as I do now.) They serve their purpose (freight) and it would be very nice to have passenger trains again, beyond the minuscule amount Amtrak provides. What they need is competition! :D

It was a wonderful vision, though. The most I think I've ever gotten from any deceased relatives was an aroma of perfume, I think from my grandmother.