Feeling waves of futility this morning...

[FirstLight]

I wonder if it is the nature of this shift...this ebb&flow of positivity and negativity coursing through our cells, even the very planet...

And as much as my personal life has so much promise to it right now and I am feeling more centered and clear and peaceful in my own circumstances...the big picture has me just wanting to give up, or plan for survival- instead of planning for my next work week and dentist appts, etc...
~~~
Society, govt, and economic issues seem to be unfixable and getting worse. I feel like the breaking point is very near, that even those who consder themselves peaceful will be marching with torches & pitchforks very soon. No jobs, denial of benefits, houses foreclosing and crooks lining their pockets. There is no "recovery' - it's just an illusion, the numbers don't speak to the REAL issues of homelessnes, hunger and the like... and the moneychangers keep doing their sleight of hand, and they are not even ashamed of it.

The planet is dying, she is being poisioned more each day. I see more and more animals going extinct, more and more pollution spills and reckless human behavior. Global climate change is apparent in almost all of our lives, and it is still being denied at large. we are the frog in the pot of slowly boiling water...and even IF we were smart enough to jump, where would we go? It is unfixable and it is only going to shift more & more rapidly ...the "models" tht say "such & such will happen in 50 years if we don't change things" are too conservative. These things are happening NOW, and there is no way our feeble attempts are going to turn back the tide...
Meanwhile - magnetics continue to falter and plates continue to move, BIGTIME.

funny, used to be I worried about finding a good job and if I was going to be able to buy my own house someday. Now I am thinking about where my water sources are and how much food is in the pantry for emergencies. Used to be I worried about my kids going to college and what they would be when they grow up...now I wonder how they will do in a world without society, govt or rules, and if we will be able to survive the changes coming over the next 5 years...
~~~

tell me it is something in the stars that is making me feel so depressed about this, cournty, humanity & the planet. But it REAlLY feels like the collapse is very near and I am freaking out more than a little today... :scared:

[ricochetastroman]

1. FL, the planets

do not come by to make us sick or down or depressed. They uncover the FACT THAT WE ARE SICK.
We created this sickness. The planets urge us to see the symptoms and heal them by acting in healthy, loving ways.
It's that simple, planets represent good, healthy energies. That's my take anyway. :hi:

[MorningGlow]

2. Don't discount the effect of your weather

Snow in April--even a little bit, not to mention the tons you're getting--can do some serious damage to your positive outlook. Brighter days are coming. :hug:

[FirstLight]

3. just got sideswiped again, too

Tanf has been discontinued because the report I turned in was late and the worker has till the 10th to process it (not to mention she is on vacation today)...we have .25 cents in our cash acct and NO foodstamps left. Rent is due today and my car is out of gas too...ugh...

now I am really feeling it... :cry:

I HATE being dependent on others for MY life!

[MorningGlow]

4. Oh sweetie

:hug:

It's times like these I wish I had a million dollars. I'd SO give you half!

[Fire Walk With Me]

5. Oh sweetheart...

There isn't a big enough HUG emoticon for this reply.

I'll send prayer and do some energy work if you wish...remember, this is The Fall of the 3rd Dimension. Some of it is not going to be pretty. And as you have said, we strong empaths will have little choice in "hearing" it within ourselves. Spend time meditating and detaching. If troubled, pray for the benefit of others, or immediately work upon contrary motion- Get into a funny film or anything that will break the mood and replace it with Holyness.

There is so much positive energy around right now, but we HAVE to work to stay in it when trouble comes. It's like staying afloat. You have to do some work!

I also feel like ducking and covering, in terms of what's going on out there. :/

[OneGrassRoot]

6. I find myself very easily where you are....

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Then I try to remember: WE CAN CREATE SOMETHING BRAND NEW

We may not yet know how but I believe we can, and shall. The old ways aren't working and are crumbling before our very eyes. I may feel ineffectual in my own little world and daily life, but I do absolutely, wholeheartedly believe that Humanity as a Whole, assisted by Mother Earth and other aspect of The Divine, can create anything anew and rise above.

Perhaps literally.

I don't know what's best as far as the Big Picture, so I'm trusting that enough of us will come together to Create Anew and find our way. I hope we have a lot of help, as FWWM says. :)

:grouphug:

[MorningGlow]

7. DAMMIT TWIN

I realize this is my third post in your thread, but I have to tell you that we're still twinning. Mr. MG picked up his car after having several repairs done (to the tune of $800 we barely have) and our debit card was DECLINED! :wtf: HOW could we not have enough money in the account for that when he got paid on Friday, PLUS I moved money over from our panic account to cover it last week?! He charged it, which is bad, bad, BAD, and there I am, out in the boonies with no wi-fi to check online (my phone is a cheapie with no internet connection--not one I was going to pay for anyway) and of course I start freaking out.

Finally got home and hurtled to the 'puter to get on the HSBC site (after all, our car insurance is due in a few days PLUS MG Jr. has to have two fillings at the dentist tomorrow to the tune of $600 because we don't have dental coverage so where the F*** is our money if not in the bank account) and..."We're sorry, online banking is unavailable at this time. Please try again later." O. M. F. G.



What the heck is it with money (or lack thereof) today???

[FirstLight]

12. ...and what else is weird

my TANF is about $800 for the month...same amount as your money trouble too...? weird!

(and ya, i live on that little...no wonder my mom is pissed i keep asking her for help)

[rumpel]

8. FL

I have no Internet connection at the motel since this morning, but I feel compelled to give you a big hug and send you some light. I have been going through a similar turmoil of emotional ups and downs. I find it extremely difficult to stay positive when our own survival of each day is in limbo. I do know that there is inherent good in people around us and everyone is in one way or another supporting us through the hardship.
Try to talk to the landlord and perhaps you can get an extension.

I believe our planet will be fine, people just have to be mindful and society has to stop being wasteful. There is plenty for everyone, but just like money it is wasted and distributed inequitably and many are now fighting their own David vs Goliath battle. But look how much Obama has accomplished so far. We have to do the same in our own small ways in our communities. I am sad to see that all my friends and colleagues are also barely surviving and each have an inescapable problem, whether it is no jobs, divorce, bankruptcy, dealing with debt, suddenly having deal with health issues of family etc.

But we still have to work with the old system to create the new. I learned that despising it will not bring about change. When something leaves it has to be replaced. Perhaps we are here to finally shine the light onto those, who are self absorbed. Ford Foundation announced a grant for art communities, according to the NY Times. Not all is bad...eventually they will awaken.

Out of the ruins the Phoenix will rise.

[OneGrassRoot]

9. ...

You always amaze and inspire me.

Thank you. May your burdens soon be lifted....

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[MorningGlow]

10. Well said, Rumpel

:applause:

It is so difficult to maintain optimism. Thank you for this reminder. :hug:

[FirstLight]

11. Thanks guys...

My mom saved my ass with rent, and then gave me an earful about how much she has helped me this last month, and how she knows people pulling 3 jobs to get by and I need to get a job even if it is in a coffee shop, blah, blah, blah...

Gee, that'd be great...IF I had EVER wrked in Food service and could qualify for a job like that...or IF there were ANY jobs out there to be HAD. I know she means well and she knows people are in trouble..but she doesn;t gt it that there is NO WORK.

I am sooo tired of this world and the STRUGGLE right now. I have a hard time even hearing my kids talk about what they want to be when they grow up because I think the world will be a very different place by then and we may not have those options. Not like we have any now. My whole adult life has been a series of boom & bust and I feel like a loser for not being 'better off' or having a "real career" or whatever...

Trying to just get through today without screaming or crying every moment...been hiding in a Harry Poter book for the most part of the day...and at least now it is dinner time and I can crack a bottle of cheap wine and numb out.

okay gotta stop now, my head hurts and the tears are gumming up the keyboard :cry:

[eilen]

13. Hey FL, I know things are tough and it's hard to see the bright side

Check out this link: anita sands

It is by this lady in California-- she is flippy, dramatic and constantly upbeat and sometimes brings the crazy (in the one world order flavor), makes me laugh and has all these pages about disparate stuff--astrology, much about surviving when dealing with TANF and The Man, corrupt govt. etc. She makes me laugh and see more possibilities. There are links for many different pages at the link I gave you. One I enjoyed was how to be a guerrilla capitalist, and she also puts stuff in there about survival and remaining healthy with a happy outlook. It is kind of hokey and sometimes a little, I don't know---sketchy in an ethical way when she speaks about how to work the system if you need to-- survival is how I view it.

Anyway, I go here when I am feeling helpless and void of hope that I can do anything to make things improve.

[FirstLight]

14. Well, I ran energy instead of ...

getting wasted...and woke up with a fever and pukey too...I'm still not feeling great, but i am going to take a salt & lavender bath & try to keep working it.

Got some stuff in my first chakra gummed up: old beliefs about not being 'okay' and that damn money/security thing too...

funny how these waves roll through us, it sux and it's hard...but we still survive, don't we? I suppose it is part of the job description as a Light Worker

At least i am breaking *some* of the old patterns... but the desire to crawl under the covers & HIDE is very strong!

[Kookaburra]

15. Sending you light and love, sweetie

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. It truly does suck sometimes, and the whole empath thing can be a curse at times as well.

Feels to me like you're purging some nasty energy you picked up somewhere and you'll likely feel better once it's out.

[MorningGlow]

16. We will indeed survive

What else is there to do? :shrug: ;)

I felt somewhat protected today--it turned out that MG Jr's dental work only cost about half what they had estimated. It's not a ton, but it's significant savings. Sending you some light so good fortune and peace of mind come your way. :hug: