I finished that book I was telling you about

[MorningGlow]

Just this morning. Burned through more than 500 pages of reeeallly tiny type in just a few days--can't remember the last time I managed to do that. (I now STRONGLY suspect that the death of my MacBook was part of some secret plan to get me to read it right NOW. Oh--and greetings from the new MacBook Pro! :hi:)

I still don't want to tell y'all the name of the book, mainly because of all the painfully personal details--the not-good ones, that is. And they did continue throughout the book. Let me see if I can share my experience without giving away too much of the plot and totally humiliating myself on the WORLDWIDE intertubes...

Basically the novel was two in one. The main character (who was my doppleganger) had a neutral sort of life, then was faced with a major choice. Half of the book followed what happened when she followed one path off that single moment, and the other half of the book followed what happened when she followed another path.

In Path A, let's call it, the main character's life continued unchanged, and she made the most of it as it was. But it was far from perfect and didn't end happily.

In Path B, she took a leap of faith, and it was hard. It didn't bring her complete happiness, but at the end of it, she realized that if she had to do it all again, she would make the same choice.

Path A mirrors my current life. At the start of the book, the path paralleled my life starting about a year or two ago. The book's plot caught up to my present and passed it, but the details that matched my life did continue up to where it hit my "present day". (Confused yet? :P)

Path B is not in my current reality, even as an option. However, over the past couple of years I HAVE experienced this life, but in a series of very powerful, not-your-average-brain-dump dreams. Trust me, these were reality-shaking, and I have always woken from them all kinds of "out of it" for hours, and sometimes days, at a time. So I have experienced some of Path B, but not in this dimension. I have come to learn, however, that that alternate dimension is quite real, not a figment of my imagination, and, in a way, more powerful and more real than this 3-D existence. I'm not sure I can explain it any better than that.

I'm still reeling from all this and am still working out what it all means. Why was I led to read this book, and why now? What is the lesson for me? I can think of several, but I'm not sure which one is the most pertinent--or should I pay attention to several of them, or all of them?

I have been scribbling in my journal all morning trying to figure it out. I have come to a few conclusions, albeit tentative ones. The path I'm on, Path A, is less than ideal. Can it be yanked back onto the rails before it's too late? And was reading this book a warning to do just that? Possibly. However, what if it's supposed to take this trajectory? What if I'm just being prepped for my future? I don't know the answer to that. Path B, as detailed in the book, gave me a dose of "reality"--the good that I experience in my dreams tempered by the nasty bits that have been kept in the shadows (for me). Do I want that? Really? I don't know the answer to that either.

Most important, however, is the entire time I was reading the book, I desperately wanted the main character to jettison BOTH realities and choose a third, middle path. She was almost self-destructive, hurtling down both of them, letting other people in her life influence her so completely, that I wanted to scream "Stand up for yourself! Tell those people to get off your back! Don't choose EITHER PATH!" Perhaps that's my lesson--that there's a middle way that's preferable.

Oh, and one other thing--the main character was a damned sap! :rofl: I wanted to slap her and tell her to snap out of it. She was SOOOOO easily influenced and malleable and, at times, downright codependent. I do hope I'm not that bad. I don't think I am... :P

Anyway, that's as much as I know right now. I may add to this thread if I have any revelations, but my brain is pretty fried right now (as you might imagine).

But if anybody gets a vibe off of all this, PLEASE let me know. I think I'm gonna need all the assistance I can get. And you can believe that I am going to assault my guides in my pre-bed meditation to ask for some insight. I think I might need a little clarification here...or, you know, a lot... :crazy:

On edit: inner grammar cop came out

[Kookaburra]

1. Funny thing, MG

When I was reading your post, before even getting to the descriptions of both paths, I heard in my head "choose door # 3." Then you mentioned a third path. Curious.

[MorningGlow]

5. Oh, thank you for that validation, Kookaburra

I really appreciate it. It's so easy to second-guess my "sudden instinct" messages. I should know better, but still I doubt myself, ironically because those messages do come in so quickly.

Thanks again! :hug:

[FirstLight]

13. Hear hear!

:applause:

The two things that jumped out at me were

*the third option...design and choose your OWN path through it all, maybe gleaning components from the book's events & examples, but still forging your own way!

* the desire to slap the sap! :rofl: You are *such* the Cappy! I know that feeling when you read a book or watch a movie and wish the female would grow a spine. We are so self-effacing and strong in our own pursuit of goals and personal decisions, we have a hard time even conceptualizing the more 'wimpy' emotions like regret and/or silly fantasy.

Both of these things make me think of something I always hear in my meditation classes...this is just the Universe showing you something so you can say "I'd rather choose *this*, or *somehing better*...!"

Examples about what you choose to create and your options and the belief that your own decisions are just fine, and you know better than to indulge in lower vibrational attitudes and emotions, that is what gives you MORE options than before... so go forward knowing you can find that "other path"

maybe your guides will give you some more pieces in your dreams as you ask tonight...cool!
:hug:

[MorningGlow]

19. I think that's exactly why I was led to read the book

It was like being able to find out the answer of "what would it be like if..." without my having to upend my current life to find out. :hi:

How are your owwies? Mine are better today. :)

[OneGrassRoot]

2. Wow!

Just wow, MG!!!

That is absolutely, positively FASCINATING!!!

What a huge gift...I also believe it was all meant to be (the whole Mac incident), so you could read the book and reflect, and perhaps create anew.

Perhaps that's my lesson--that there's a middle way that's preferable.

That's what feels right to me as I read it. Just because Plan A mirrored/mirrors your life, so what? You have choices and are creating this life, moment by moment (though I certainly feel helpless at times, as though I'm a nonstop victim of circumstance when I'm too tired to see clearly, so I know this is easier said than done perhaps).

And that is SO COOL about you experiencing Plan B in dream state. Again, what a blessing in many ways.

Huge :hug: of support to you as you absorb everything and work through it.

Thanks for coming back to share.

:hi:

[MorningGlow]

6. It sure is weird!

Now I need to somehow write this up and get paid for it, so I can recoup the price of the new laptop! ;)

I can actually see all of Path A playing itself out in my life. I could definitely change it...if it's supposed to be changed (I'm a firm believer in "the strongest probabilities will out"). However, I know that if it does happen the way it's described in the book, I won't react the same way as the main character. It won't devastate me anywhere near as much--to be honest, I'm stronger than she is. ;)

Thanks for the :hug:--back atcha! :hug: :hi:

[kentauros]

3. I think I can help you step back from it for a bit,

because, even though the weirdness factor is exceptionally high in the parallels to your life, I found myself trying to figure out how to write a story where you take both paths! :)
So, how does one go about writing a book where your protagonist can take both paths, though obviously, only one at a time? It might have been interesting had the book paralleled yours with her dreaming one path and taking the other. That would have required some other twist to happen in order to justify the existence of the dreams, but maybe that's just how I'd do the technique :)

It's good you're going to do some meditation on it, as I was going to suggest it.

I had to stop while I was writing here because it came to mind that I hadn't looked at my email yet. Here's something with regards to "Path" that was in my mail, from WisdomNews (Lisa Coffey):

Connection

"Path presupposes distance;
If he be near, thou needest no path at all.
Verily, it makes one smile
To hear of a fish in water needing a drink."

-Kabir

We're all on this spiritual path, right? And where is it leading to? Back to our Selves! Somewhere on our journey we'll realize that we don't have to go anywhere or do anything to find God. God is not hiding from us! The Divine Presence is right here, where we are. Now and always.
-Lissa Coffey

Don't know how pertinent it is to you, but it can be a little insight anyway :hi:

[MorningGlow]

7. LOL

So sweet of you to try to make everything possible instead of having to choose! Funny you should mention that--I was doing the same!
:rofl:

I figured that the second could possibly happen after the first one played itself out. The author touched on that idea, but bailed on that sort of a happy ending to make the drama more poignant. I, however, would have gone for it, if I had written the book! ;)

Thanks also for the quotes. Yes they do indeed resonate, especially the first one. :hug:

[Flying Dream Blues]

4. I think this is fascinating, MG! While reading this I was also getting

"what about the middle path"? I think your own intuition is telling you that the path you're on has its limitations, and there's something else you're meant to do. Here are some questions that came to mind:

What is holding you back from taking your own leap of faith? What can you do differently to pursue a different, more exciting path (if that appeals to you) without the recklessness and uneccessary risk the character chose? What represents the middle path, or the third choice to you?

One thing that does come through is that this book is meant to shake you up, awaken you to new possibilities, and your own excitement I'm feeling seems to bear that out. (When is the last time you were this exhilarated about something new?)

I wish you all the best and am vicariously thrilled at the possibilities...
:hi:
:hug:

[MorningGlow]

8. Thanks for joining in, FDB!

:hug: Another vote for the middle path--I like it!

You're right that my current path is limiting--no doubt about it--and I am chomping at the bit to get going, expand my horizons, whatever I'm supposed to do. I don't like biding my time, although I think I do have to do a bit more of that. I want to GET GOING! :D

I do have to think about how to get on the middle path without throwing away everything in my present life--that would be ridiculous. More rumination necessary (and more being open to possibilities).

Thanks for the good wishes, FDB--back atcha! :hi:

[mysticalchick]

9. This?

Oh, and one other thing--the main character was a damned sap! I wanted to slap her and tell her to snap out of it. She was SOOOOO easily influenced and malleable and, at times, downright codependent. I do hope I'm not that bad. I don't think I am...

... is your shadow side. What I get (in addition to what the others got about finding the middle path) is to look at what was stirred up by that shadow side. Look how riled up you got about the character being a sap! Interesting. When there's that much energy about something, it can mean that it trigged that part of you that you dislike.

(FWIW, I am faced with my shadow every day - a co-worker represents it and boy, does it irk the hell out of me all the while reminding me of that part of myself I do not like to acknowledge.)

[MorningGlow]

10. That is VERY true

I have always been "blessed" with examples of my shadow side sending me lessons ;)--usually, as you said, in the form of a person IN my life, like a coworker (I feel your pain), a roommate, or someone similar; it's interesting that this time it's a book character.

I think in this case the main character definitely is showing me a part of myself I'm displeased with--the part that has given up a lot--and I mean a LOT--of what makes me "me" (interests, hobbies, talents, personality traits, etc.) in order to keep the peace in my family. Lately I have bee more more inclined to say "tough shit, I'm doing this". And I need to do even more. Before I disappear completely. If you know what I mean.

[mysticalchick]

11. I'm also getting that lesson MG ..

.. one of "self-authority" and it's hard and scary at the same time. Plus, it has the extra fun benefit of others being shocked (SHOCKED! I tell you) that I am actually saying "No. I don't like that." after years and years of giving in to avoid conflict. In my next life, I'm gonna be a warrior chick! (oh wait, I've put in to be tall and thin in my next life. I wonder if I can squeeze in some of that warrior chick energy too! hehe)

[MorningGlow]

12. It certainly has caused quite the upheaval at times 'round these parts

And that's just when I stood up for what I wanted--after waiting patiently for YEARS and getting nuthin'. I'm getting fed up with my patience being taken advantage of.

Someday...karaoke!
:rofl:

(Oooh and I like the tall and thin idea--me too me too!)

[Kookaburra]

14. uh-huh tall and thin

I've always said in my next life I'll be blonde, 5'10", and 120 lbs. Just my luck, the Rubenesque figure will be in fashion.

[MorningGlow]

20. OMG I hadn't thought of that...!

:rofl:

Well, you know what they say about making wishes--cover all the bases and be VERY specific with your phrasing. "In my next life, I would like to be tall, thin, and blonde, in a society that idealizes the look of 'tall, thin, and blonde...'"

[NuttyFluffers]

15. ooh! i'm willing to be like Cher in Moonstruck if you need me to! ^_^

but yeah, when people say there's limited options, they are often right about the "logical, rational" ones -- but you always have a chance to stay still (option C) and think of doing something crazy (options D through Z)!

sometimes the best thing to do in a stressful, chaotic situation is stop being a rational actor yourself. panic does have a purpose, it makes you unpredictable and shakes things up. what comes from the aftermath might be better or worse, but at least you have new and less predicted options available.

[MorningGlow]

18. You mean...

*SLAP!* "Snap out of it!"
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I'm 100 percent Italian (Sicilian through and through), and I can TOTALLY relate to that movie! Even though it's a little too "Noo Yawk goomba" to actually BE my family, it's pretty darn close!

"Panic does have a purpose"--you're absolutely right. And I detest stagnation. So yeah, I have a feeling that pretty soon whatever's supposed to happen is going to bust out...

[BlueIris]

16. My take on it: Plan B is still an option for you.

You may have been too hasty in ruling it out.

[MorningGlow]

21. Hmmm--you think?

Well, if I did go for it, it would have to be a lot more reasonable and pleasant than the way it played out in the book. The main character made a LOT of missteps that could have been avoided, I think (but they happened for the sake of a dramatic storyline, of course).

[northernlights]

17. amazing goings on, MG....

Ihave been following your adventures in reading. :hi: Maybe the book was guided to you to help you consider your options and find your way to that middle way....:shrug:

Must say, you have a most interesting dream life. :rofl: I used to have one, but lately when I remember them, mostly vague fragments. Only a few of import...

[MorningGlow]

22. I think so, NL

It was a "sampler platter" of a sort--so I could see what would happen "if..." without actually DOING it. I think.

LOL my dreams have only been this strange for the past several years. Interesting times and all that...!

[MorningGlow]

23. Tuesday update--had a little chat with my guides last night

Pretty funny, I must say. I believe "impish" is the word that best describes their behavior. They were pretty damned pleased with themselves for coming up with such a clever way to get their message across. They were actually practically giggling! I tried to stay mad at them, but I couldn't, really.
:rofl:

I didn't find out much, however--I fell asleep right in the middle of talking to them. I suspect the lesson continued while I slept, but I slept so hard that I don't remember any dreams last night. I'll try again tonight.

I also checked on the author, and I discovered an interview online where she pretty much revealed that the entire novel was autobiographical, albeit with some details changed, of course. (She went with Path B, by the way, and it worked out much better for her than her protagonist.)

Now the question is, how did she and I manage to have such similar lives? I asked my guides, and they said that she and I share a spiritual splinter of sorts--that our lives intersect and we share experiences. Fascinating, as I have never heard of this author before, and I don't feel any sort of affinity for her when I read her interviews. There is no emotional tie, just this freaky Venn diagram-style overlap. Huh. Interesting.