Please accept my apologies....

[OneGrassRoot]

to ASAHers, DUers and anyone else who may "stumble" upon this post...and my others in the last few days.

I've been reacting with a lot of emotion the last few days, and doing so in a public way.

I have that in common with Mr. Beck, it seems. ;)

While I absolutely do not agree with his worldview and what he espouses, it is his choice. And the choice of his listeners.

Just as I have a choice as to the kind of world I choose to create and how I choose to do so.

I came through one battle recently that took a lot out of me. I was more drained from that than I realized. That was followed instantly by a truly lifelong battle with family members, and that's when my "Choose Love" mantra began to crumble.

The Glenn Beck video was the final straw. I honestly don't know why, but it was.

I'm reminding myself to Choose Love, and I wish everyone -- including those with completely different worldviews -- well. We truly can't see eye to eye, so I'm not sure what I have even been trying to accomplish.

I fell off my balance beam the last few days. ;)

While I will continue to speak up against what I view as harmful behavior, I will refrain from attacking and belittling (even in the form of emoticons) their worldview and the spokespersons for that worldview, as that isn't what I choose to do or be.

I learned long ago that righteous indignation can very easily lead to a downward spiral of anger, which does nothing but harm ME.

I'm catching this downward spiral of anger quickly, and am apologizing for venting it here, and I'm back on track, focusing on what I CHOOSE...

:grouphug:

[get the red out]

1. You have no reason to apologize!

But then I'm on a "speak truth and reject fear" kick right now. I like truth! You speak the truth. I am working hard on fear of not being "good" when speaking "truth". Sometimes they don't exactly go together.

[OneGrassRoot]

3. If I felt good doing it, that would be different....

I haven't felt good about things the last few days, and I realize it's because I went down a path that I, personally, am not comfortable with.

Facebook has actually been very, very good for me in maintaining reasoned discussion. Here, there are emoticons and more freedom to let my anger and frustration out in a way that ends up not making me feel good about it. I've ranted but, in the end, it doesn't make me feel better.

But, hey, I applaud others who feel good speaking their truth in whatever way works for them! I know myself too well is all. ;)


:hug:

[get the red out]

8. You need to be comfortable

But getting it out here isn't a problem, as I see it.

[OneGrassRoot]

11. ...

It's a public forum, and I need to be mindful of that.

It's easy for me to forget...as though we're all sitting around a kitchen table, chatting.

But, even if we had been sitting around a kitchen table and I spewed in a way I'm not comfortable doing, I'd apologize to you guys.

And I thank you so much for providing the safe space TO rant and say what I want -- how I want -- knowing you love me anyway.

(Maybe decreasing my use of profanity has caused some sort of imbalance? I need to get back to using profanity...:rofl:)

:hug:

[Metta]

2. The difference between disequalibrium and equalibrium is learning. - Jean Piaget.

Everything is a baseline for what follows besides, that's why there's erasers on pencils.

[OneGrassRoot]

4. Nice

:)

:hug:

[elleng]

41. What a great teacher! Hope to bring that to daughters, who need it

(and who were taught by his followers.)

[Kookaburra]

5. OGR, we love and support you.

If you need to rant, you can always rant here.

[OneGrassRoot]

6. ....

:hug:

Thank you :)

[Fire Walk With Me]

7. Love is the best policy, and it's often the most difficult policy.

To be accepting, even loving, regarding those who do harm (intentionally or unintentionally) is the most difficult thing...but it seems, if we want to create love, we have to choose to be as loving as we can. This is contrary motion for me, as I'm most given to pushing and struggle as a form of action. That just creates more pushing and struggle. :(

I don't know OGR, I can't fully name another's path; perhaps shouting about what's wrong is your correct path for creating change, in addition to your work. Do what you know is right. I can only speak for myself so always find your best way...

[OneGrassRoot]

10. I don't know either, FWWM....

Maybe it's all valid. Different paths for different personality types and different times in our lives.

For me, conflict and battle hurt ME. It takes an awful lot out of me, but I will do it when I must.

When I realized that I'm suddenly battling an awful lot of late, I had to step back and see what I can change.

I have not been myself at all, and I want to nip it in the bud. ;)

I'll no doubt keep falling off that balance beam, but I'll keep reminding myself to keep choosing....and I choose love and respect. For myself and others. And I'll just detach from anything that feels hopeless in that regard.

Battles may be necessary periodically, I realize that. But I have no battle with Mr. Beck and Company. I decided that from the very start...that's what I originally posted. That it wasn't about him or them, but about what I choose, and offering others a way to express the same choice of worldview.

I veered from that in the last few days but I'm on track again.

Thank you...so very much. :hug:

Thank you ALL so very, very much. :grouphug:

[northernlights]

9. OGR, you are too hard on yourself

when you forgive yourself for being an imperfect human who needs to rant, then you can forgive others for being even more imperfect humans...even Beck.

And it's ok to rant. It's ok. As long as once you've got it out of your system, you choose love.
Which is what you always do. :hug:

and personally, I suspect your emotional rant was honest. I'm not so sure about Beck's tv packaged rants are. ;)

You got under Beck's skin. Your creation and your beliefs got under his skin. That's a good thing. Keep it up. :D

[OneGrassRoot]

12. I hear you....

I can forgive myself for ranting and anything I end up not being proud of. Oh, I have to say that when I vent, I do indeed mean it.

It's HOW I vent that I'm usually not proud of. ;)

I just wanted to be sure to get back on track...and acknowledge it with you guys, and apologize for casting off any of that ickiness to others here who are sensitive.

Again, it made ME feel icky the last few days, so it's really selfish on my part.

I want to feel better.

Thank you for the support, NL...I appreciate you.

:hug:

[northernlights]

14. um...the essense of ranting is that it often leaves us feeling

foolish or icky or something afterwards. You might say that's the measure of a good rant ;)

FWIW, your rant didn't leave me feeling icky. I didn't understand your reaction, but that's only because I'm not privy to your innermost feelings at any given moment and have yet to subject myself to viewing Beck video :scared:.

Ortelee says this is the week we dig deep and clean out the icky goo...so we can let go of what no longer serves us.

Oh, and I just left a mighty rant on GD. Somebody told me to stop being a sucker. :eyes:

[I Have A Dream]

13. As I'm sure you know, righteous indignation does not mean that we have to lash out in anger.

However, I understand what you're saying. It can feel as though you're being eaten up from the inside if not processed completely. I personally have to find a way to completely release the initial emotion after I've taken whatever action I feel called upon to take.

Please do what you have to do to take care of yourself. You're going through a lot right now. :hug:

[OneGrassRoot]

15. Absolutely, IHAD

It's just that my righteous indignation DID devolve into anger.

I had my aha moment when I realized that. ;)

This space, this community, gifted me with the freedom to rant, as well as have my "aha" moment to discover why I've felt icky (don'tcha love my big words?) lately.

Thank you...:hug:

[I Have A Dream]

16. Did you ever consider creating a Facebook account that just has...

like-minded people as friends? You could still have the other one for more general stuff, but you don't seem to be able to really discuss things as you would like with the mix of people who are your friends in the current Facebook account.

[OneGrassRoot]

17. Wow, great suggestion...

That's a brilliant idea, IHAD.

I'll look into that.

:loveya:

[Delphinus]

37. Now

*that* is an awesome idea. :)

[Ricochet21]

18. You don't need to apologize to anyone

I'd be pissed too to see what his insinuations are. He's just like Pre-WWII Germany, he's just like it. You go girl! :hi:

[OneGrassRoot]

21. ...

:hug:

[Howler]

19. OneGrassRoot.

Anger and rants are better expressed then repressed! LOL!
Its kinda like a lightening storm every thing is clean , fresh and energized once its over.
You can't find a different perspective if you are too busy shoving down all emotions and feelings of anger.
Anger is natural Anger is good it is a vital , primal, creative force when released and expressed for good and bad!
Without anger society,art,music, etc etc would not be where we are. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
GET WICKED AND WILY GIRL!!!!!!!

[OneGrassRoot]

22. All I can tell ya....

is that what I wrote in this OP made ME feel much better than my spewing forth rants...:rofl:

I'm a fan of rants, don't get me wrong, but I crossed over my own line lately and got sucked into the anger and hatred of those I've been battling.

But, dudette, I hear you!


:headbang:

:hug:

[Howler]

24. Sometimes Fighting fire with fire is Good!!!!

But for BEST results SHOOT FIRST!!!!!1 LMAO!!!!!!

[seabeyond]

20. i was telling my angry two year old niece.. plop butt down, cross legs, and heartfelt...ahhhhhhmmmmm

deep breath and another ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. ad bring self to center.

all is good.

[OneGrassRoot]

23. the perfect emoticon....

It is all good. :)

:hug:

[liberalmuse]

25. I forgive you for being human.

You've done nothing to apologize for! Glenn Beck would tax a saint.

[I Have A Dream]

27. ...and OGR IS a saint!

:rofl:

[OneGrassRoot]

32. LOL....

You're so cute. :hug:

:loveya:

[MorningGlow]

26. Ohhhh you!

:hug:

As everyone else has said, you have NO need to apologize. Beck would try the patience of a saint. In fact, everything going on in your life recently would make a saint go postal.

You are doing fantastic, darlin'. And I'm so sorry that you've been deluged with so much craziness and misery lately. So rant rant and rant some more--we can take it! That's what we're here for.
:grouphug:

[I Have A Dream]

28. +1! nt

[OneGrassRoot]

33. Thank you, MG....

I appreciate it. :hug:

:loveya:

[Proud_Lefty]

29. My best to you, OGR

Beck and these other hate mongers are starting to demoralize me. It's sometimes crazy to me to sit passive while hate and evil takes bites at us. We are not meant to be doormats and sometimes we need to stand up. I just think we should decide on the best way to do it where we're actually achieving our goal. The only way to do that is to listen for that very quiet voice within - it will have the answers, even though it might take a while to calm down enough to hear it.

You know, when I was watching the Glenn Beck You Tube you posted, I noticed him going after Reverend Wright, one of a million people attacking that man. I knew nothing of Rev. Wright until all the controversy happened. All I could see was a man who spoke the truth and actually worked with the youth and other people in his congregation to make their lives better. I watched all the tactics pulled out to destroy an amazing man, and everyone having to turn their backs on him. Shortly after Obama won the presidential election, I wrote an email to Rev. Wright and told him I believed in him and hoped his nightmare would end soon. He wrote me back and said the press just sit outside his home and harass his family on a daily basis, looking for anything to make his life even worse. It's so painful to see this type of behavior succeeding. I'm even crying now as I'm writing this. If I can do anything at all to stop it, I will.

Hang in there, OGR. This can only go on for so long before it has to implode on itself (and on people like Beck).

[OneGrassRoot]

31. Oh goodness...

Your story of Rev. Wright is so poignant, PL. :cry: How wonderful that you wrote him, and he wrote you back. :hug:

Thank you for sharing. We'll all hang in there as best we can, eh?

:hug:

:loveya:

[Oak2004]

30. I'm not sure I heard righteous indignation

I heard fear. And I don't hold fear against the fearful. It's certainly not in the same league as genuine rage (which is a subspecies of hate)

Good you are pulling things back together.

[OneGrassRoot]

34. I think there is truth in that...

I saw another battle looming and didn't want that. Then I realized I was actually inviting it with my behavior and what I was "putting out there."

Yes, I've pulled it back and feel much better, too.

For this moment. ;)

I hope you're healing well, Oak? How are you and Peri?

:hug:

:loveya:

[MagickMuffin]

35. Sometimes we have to be able to defend ourselves against the outrage

of other people who are less than honest. They really hate themselves so they lash out at other people who are trying to make a positive difference in the world. So, to me you were only defending yourself.

And as far as family members goes, a little sometime about me and my family. They too would drive me into depression after being around them, I eventually decided it wasn't worth it any more to subject myself to their cruelty. So, I gradually stopped visiting with them. After my father's funeral and what happened later that night, which was down right scary and I felt my life threatened I vowed to never ever to be a part of it any longer. I don't regret it one bit. That might not be an option for you, but I hope you will consider there are always options in dealing with people who make your life miserable.

Peace and Love to you. May the Cosmic Light surround you and lift your Spirits upward, as you are a beacon of Light and no one can extinguish it.


:hug:

[OneGrassRoot]

36. Good early morning, MM

:hi:

I hear you. I have no problem detaching from family...from anyone, really. My dad's funeral was the last time we were together, and I don't anticipate doing so again until my mom passes.

I'm sorry you went through whatever you went through, as it sounds really extreme. :(

The righteous indignation does come into play regarding my family of origin. A lifetime of being bullied and emotionally abused in many ways is I think what has reached a boiling point with me in the last few days. Funny that their "hero" -- Mr. Beck -- is the one involved in this situation.

I see the irony there. ;)

Anyway, I think now it's a matter of closure. There is no relationship but there's awkward silence at this point, and I simply have dread about how it shall truly end, though I want it to.

:hug: :hug: :hug: to you!

[rosesaylavee]

38. Ditto what everyone else has said here and

you really can't deny anger. Acknowledge it, use it if you can to move forward to promote the 'good' and then move beyond to learn what you can from it. No need to apologize - we all have anger, fear and can act inappropriately too. It's what we do here on Earth.

Really. What you are doing is inspirational and really good work. Don't be so hard on yourself. Beck is a bully. Rethink how you will deal with bullies as you go forward with this. Standing up to them is their worst fear. Keep that in mind. Hold your ground and be yourself.

:hug:

[OneGrassRoot]

39. Yes, I am holding my ground and being myself ...

as the battle continues with two Beck fans.

I'm standing.

I won't back away, I won't be silent, but I'll simply be respectful and speak my truth.

That's all I can do.

:hug:

[laylah]

40. No need for apologies,

OGR :hug:

Jenn