Ack. Just had a VERY stressful day. Can you help me find the lesson?

[lildreamer316]

Remember, I've been reading that book "The Power"; and trying to put it into practice. Every time I started thinking/worrying about if I had enough money for a bill or whathaveyou, I would immed. turn my thoughts back to what means LOVE in my life; and look around me to identify what was wonderful and beautiful - things I am grateful for.

I had two big bills due today and one small one. I wrote across the front of the big ones "Thank you for the money!" in anticipation of the money being there for them.

Well, it was...but not before the power was shut off at 8am (I had somehow read the bill wrong and thought I had until 5 today to pay it; when it was yesterday). Then the water ppl came by and said I had until 2pm to pay that bill. So I had to wait for the mail; get the check that was in it; go to my credit union (closed; so I had to drive to the next town to the credit union service center); call the CU and BEG them to release the hold on the check; fax a copy of the check to the home office of the CU;wait for the phone call to tell me if they were going to release part of the check; go to the payment center for the electric; proceed to find out I can't pay half in cash and half from the CU(so numerous calls to the CU and electric co. to find out how to proceed);then go BACK into the payment center and pay the cash part (with some confusion about the re-connect fee involving two trips back out to the car); then sitting in the car making a payment over the phone (which was denied the first time and so I had to try twice to get it to go through); then over to the bar to borrow $40 to pay the water bill; then driving all the way across one town to the next again to pay said water bill; then home..where I called the clerk of court to find out if the speeding ticket I had to pay by today could be paid next week (it can, thank the Universe!).

Nope, no stress. No stress at all. My blood pressure was so bad it used up all the sugar in my system and I gave myself a hypoglycemic attack.

I am assuming the lesson here was to choose LOVE over fear in these circumstances. I can say that I did tolerably well; but not very well in that effort. But it's a bit galling to know that I needed such a severe lesson. Do I really have to put myself (or whomever/whatever)through this? Husband has his BIG court date next week and we don't have the money for the lawyer yet either (part of it, but not all). And there are other bills hanging over our heads, of course.

1)When does it end/abate/lessen?

2)Was this a 'test' or a lesson-learning opportunity, or should I just throw the whole positive thinking thing in the trash and start over? Was this the result of a bunch of negative thinking on my part that I just had to endure the result of?

All I know is, I'm exhausted. And a bit discouraged. But I'm doing my best to appreciate every moment and every good thing in my life.

[northernlights]

1. MURPHY'S LAW

All the positive thinking in the world won't help if you don't follow up with practical, sensible action.

MURPHY'S LAW is immutable, universal and infinite. If something can go wrong, it will. The only way you beat Murphy's law is to plan for everything that can possibly go wrong. Ok, not everything, but expect some unexpected things to go wrong and plan for that. Then Murphy goes and wrecks somebody else's day because you are no longer the "low hanging fruit" for Murphy.

One extension of Murphy's law is never, ever wait until the last instant to do anything, because that is when something, or everything, will go wrong.

Just because a bill is due at 5pm on Tuesday does not mean you should wait until Tuesday to pay it. Start thinking in terms of paying bills at least a couple days in advance. If that means sacrificing some luxury for a couple weeks, do so just to get started on paying a little ahead of time.

When you procrastinate with *anything* until the last minute, then if something can go wrong, it will.

It's the same sort of thing as with getting to work or school "on time." My co-student is *always* 5 minutes late except when he's 15-20 minutes late because he doesn't allow himself enough realistic time to get to class. In contrast, I allow myself extra time, and rarely need it. I usually arrive a little early and comfortably. And on the rare occasion that something (traffic, an accident, whatever) slows me down, I still arrive on time, but with less stress than if I hadn't left enough time.

Carrying an umbrella is another example. A way to ensure good weather. Forget your umbrella and there will be a deluge and you will get caught in it.

This applies pretty much to everything in life. Plan realistically for what may go wrong, follow through on that plan, and then it's less likely to actually go wrong. Leave yourself exposed, and Murphy will get you. Every. Time.

Lecture over.

[lildreamer316]

2. ..but I couldn't pay it until the check came in.

It was impossible for me to pay it ahead of time/plan ahead with it because I had to wait for the check to come in the mail to pay it with(which was late; I was expecting it three days ago - and it has to also clear my CU which usually takes two days). On top of that; I had budgeted for the amount that I thought that the bill was..however, when the reminder notice arrived two days ago; they had added the fact that I needed to pay a second amount that was the current month's bill (the first amount I had planned for was the result of a payment arrangement made last month). They had neglected to inform me of this when I discussed it on the phone with them last month, but that makes no difference when the bill is actually due.

Husband lost his full-time job over a month ago, and has been piece-mealing jobs ever since while looking for a more permanent position. So we plan as best we can, but we are day to day, seriously.

I am grateful that I was actually able, after all that, to get the bill paid. It was over a thousand dollars.

[northernlights]

10. then there is no lesson.

Life has become infinitely more complex with other people falling down on their responsibilities (eg the lateness of arrival of your check) which then spills over into other's lives. There was no lesson for me last summer when I was waiting on $4-5K due me and ran out of money, and ran around like a fool trying to patch the holes that created. Except once I got through that bottleneck or blackhole and the $$ finally came in, I focussed on everything I could do to keep $$ coming in. I buy very, very few nonessentials now. Everything I buy I see as an investment in saving in some other way. If I don't see a relatively quick ROI, I don't buy it. Period.
And this morning I was back to thinking that I want to eliminate as many people from my life as possible because I'm sick to death of my life getting crapped on by other people's eff ups and stealing. When people hold back on paying you, they are collecting interest on your money at your expense.

And I do sympathize with you. But I don't think that the Power book or any of the magical thinking/YCYR books right now can help. Because everybody is swirling down the money toilet grasping at straws (and poo) every spin of the way as the elite steal and hang onto every cent, and people are stealing from their neighbors now, too...

[lildreamer316]

12. Yes,

I've been eliminatng ppl a bit also..I love people, but I have learned I have to limit my experience on a day-to-day basis to a very select few. I try to stay below the radar a lot so people aren't tempted to mess with me, either.

I'm just going to chalk it up to experience (of something, lol) and look forward instead of back. :)

[villager]

24. you had the same summer I did! Monies owed me in June/early July..

...didn't come 'til late August/September, causing no end of re-shuffles, creditor fending, et al...

[MorningGlow]

3. Oh honey, I have done the exact same thing several times in the past few months

Timing the paying of bills with checks coming in, and rushing around to deposit small checks in order to be able to mail a payment to one thing or another. I so feel ya. :hug:

And *sigh* I don't know what the message is. I've been trying to figure out for myself too. So I'll be keeping an eye on this thread for suggestions.

In the meantime... :hug: :hug: :hug:

[FirstLight]

4. all this money stuff

my bank acct seems to get hit with the stupid stuff and snowball into overdraft every month because the end of the month and the 5th (when welfare pays me) are so far off they can charge me at least $150 worth of fees... it sucks


i am hoping that this all means that the money system is about to break and be rebuilt, but in the meantime i guess we are just having to hold on to our sanity and hope that the shit doesn't hit the fan TOO hard... meantime, maybe we should be stocking up on booze, cigarettes and ammo...then we can barter when the time comes :rofl:

[lildreamer316]

19. See, this is what I think also.

I really do think we are headed for some sort of re-definition of money, or of the system of providing/supply/demand, or what have you (not sure how to define what i'm talking about, but i'm sure you get it).

As I said, husband and I are day-to-day at the moment, having almost been forced into that kind of way by everything going on. I firmly believe that is the way it has to be for now, because of the changes we are going through as a planet and a nation. It seems we will be better prepared to roll with the changes when we're not locked into any situations having to do with permanent positions/contracts/?. It's like we're free-floating, so we're able to go in any direction needed. It's been a lesson for me to let go of having some of that security, but I do trust that it's for the best. Just..days like yesterday reinforce that lesson HARD and FAST. Ouch. I begin to wonder if that was all I was supposed to remember/learn from it, ya know?

So I guess you're answering my query "Does anyone else feel this way?" ...lol!

[FirstLight]

20. 'free-floating'

I totally get that too... except i still have a battle going on within of the old paradigm that i have to be stable and have security and all that stuff because it is the 'right' thing to do. for some reason i feel liuke i have failed because i haven't 'made it'...does that even make sense?

silly me! I would *so* much rather live in community and tribe, i feel like i have seen it already in a dream and know that the folk are already showing up here in my community. I used to think i had to go find the place and build it, turns out it is already HERE, we just have to start the little projects and the rest will show up...i can feel that it is coming, almost right here...

meanwhile i deal with the old paradigm bullshit and try to find a job and deal with bank fees and overdrafts and putting gas in the car and worrying about the rest of those little stupid details....
it's enough to drive one completely mad!

[lildreamer316]

21. That's exactly it!

Oh, you don't KNOW how guilty I feel because I haven't "made it"!! Remember,I'm the daughter of depression children who were the first in their respective families to go to college..and I rejected college after two years as being 'not for me'. My mother was a life-long teacher. I decided to be an exotic entertainer instead. Guilt & feelings of non-accomplishment? NAAAAAAAAAH! I have not saved a dime; etc. Yes yes yes, I identify.

I also (sorta) want to live in a community/tribe, but I want a big old house with lots of land so I can provide shelter for those ppl that need it, farm the land for community food; go off the grid, etc (and I simply LOVE old houses!). It seems that husband and I already do some of this..the past few years have seen a progression of ppl using our spare bedroom as they transition between phases in their lives. I'd say about 5 different friends have stayed here for several months apiece. It's my pleasure to provide a stable and comfortable place and do the 'woman of the house' stuff..cook dinner twice a week, wash their clothes (when they're not expecting it; just as a nice surprise) etc.

I really enjoy that kind of sharing,and I want to expand it sometimes to another level.

And yes, meantime the world we're in currently continues to operate on the I-don't-trust-anyone level. The you-owe-me-all level. Very frustrating!

[liberalmuse]

5. You're exhausted, but you've got water!

Sometimes the Universe, that ol' trickster, gives us a harsh lesson in logistics. My dear, you passed beautifully! A++! I'm in awe. :hug:

You can also be rest assured that I'm not talking out of my ass - been there, done that, and may do it again. Last time it was with a toddler - no heat, no water, no diapers, no gas, no food, no brakes (ended up in a ditch with that one - thank dog for baby seats), no Christmas, etc. Somehow it all worked out beautifully, but not without some nail biting.

[lildreamer316]

13. Oh wow.

I would have absolutely lost it over that situation. Mad respect to you. And HUGE hugs. I'm so grateful you and baby are ok!!
:hug: :hug:

[OneGrassRoot]

6. I have no idea...

No idea about the lessons or how to "do better" in order to avoid such stressors.

I have a feeling you're truly doing the best you can, lildreamer. :hug:

I empathize with your struggle...been there, done that...still doing it. :(

We're all doing the best we can. Just keeping doing the best you can, hour by hour, and focus on the positives as best you can. Not because that may create less stress and more abundance in the future (that puts expectation), but simply because it helps you feel better in the moment.

Stay in your now and find the good.

That's my two cents. ;)

:hug:

:loveya:

[lildreamer316]

14. I think you've hit the nail on the head there.

"simply because it helps you feel better in the moment."

Yes, I think that's it. Thank you so much, OGR. :hug:

[I Have A Dream]

7. Sorry, buddy.

I wish that I could help you to find the lesson. All I can do is offer my love and support. :hug:

I wish that things would get easier for you.

[lildreamer316]

15. I have faith they will..

You know, I had this wonderfully blessed, almost magical childhood. Seriously. It almost seems like a dream when I look back on it.
(there are days when I do wonder if I used up all my good 'karma' or whatever on that, lol!! Just kidding).
So I hold fast to the fact that I've known peace and calm and gentleness (and relative prosperity/comfort/abundance), and that I can have it again. I just have to create that space of feeling in my soul and hold onto it better than I have been.
I am the eternal optimist, thank the Universe. That's gotta count for something :)
:hug:

[seabeyond]

8. sometimes it seems like just a big cosmic joke. sounds like a mess, and certainly a bummer, BUT

at a point, maybe you were being asked to just surrender to the mess of things. sometimes that is all it is. you put out to universe to have trust in it so the laugh from universe is to throw all the stuff out there and see how you do.... and at a point just surrender to.

really, when there is only so much money to cover way more, reality, is it sucks. but inevitably we all make it thru. stay in peace, in love, and do the hard work. i am sorry that you are experiencing this, but maybe that is the lesson.

i went thru a time in journey when surrendering was the lesson. i spent months surrendering. i am such a battle kinda gal. it was a huge lesson for me. i surrender, surender and surrender. one morning in aug.... it hit me, thru a meditation, surrender to surrender. i felt such light thru out. such clarity adn understanding. such acceptance of truth. it was a moment that has stayed with me for years. it is one of the very few times i went into bedroom, and shared part of spiritual journey with hubby. he wasnt/isnt into it. so i have always left him alone

but it brought me such peace. and has stuck with me, and allowed me to be in stillness.... since.

best to you

[lildreamer316]

16. Hmm. That's a new one for me.

I'll certainly meditate on that. It makes some sense, because I am quite the control freak when it comes to certain areas of my life. I'm not sure I know how to "surrender to surrendering"; but I'll certainly try :)
Thanks! :hug:

[BanzaiBonnie]

9. I'm so sorry you had such an awful time

Continue to be thankful for what you have. Don't worry about finding a lesson right now. You're in the middle of a bunch of muck, but just keep looking for that which brings you joy. Offer gratitude for that.

Acknowledge that things are sucky. But not EVERYTHING is sucky. Get clear on what you do want. The clearer you are on what is not working, the clearer you can be on your intentions.

Perhaps setting some intentions and announcing them here where all of us can add our focus on them with you. Time and space do not matter one whit and we stand with you for the highest and best good of all. So be it and so it is.

[lildreamer316]

17. Thank you, Bonnie

This sounds right, what you said. I'm going to spend the day getting clear on what exactly it is that I *do* want, as well as defining exactly what it is that isn't working.

I do know I've got some guilt around money issues I need to let go of. If the money is there and I need it,it's ok to use it.

I have a feeling some of these answers are staring me in the face and I'm just not seeing them, lol.

I'd like to write out a couple of solid intentions. Thank you for the support :hug:

[BlueIris]

11. Don't think there's a lesson, other than one involving finance.

Some things don't have metaphysical significance.

[lildreamer316]

18. It just seems

that this is a recurrent issue for me..and I can feel that it has some strong emotional triggers. I really think it's that I have these emotional issues with money that cause me these problems/are the blocks to me having an easier time. There's something I'm doing or feeling or thinking that is getting in my own way - but I'm not sure what or where it is.

There are two major issues in my life and I'm trying to find my center and be clear on both of them, sometimes at the same time. Even without the other issues, I've had problems with my money thinking..so they aren't necessarily tied together, either.

Well, I did the best I could yesterday, no matter what the lesson was or if there was a lesson at all. Gonna put it behind me and look forward. :)

:hug:

P.S. The card with the lady in the field&forest stays on my mantle; it's so pretty..I see it every day. Just wanted to let you know that.

[BlueIris]

22. Awww, I'm so happy you like the card!

I just got back from the store where I bought it; the two nice ladies who run it are still in business.

[BanzaiBonnie]

23. I understand the money issue

We can certainly have strong feelings tied up there. And it will influence how the money flow is going in your life. Find that guilt. Feel it. Allow it. Love it and don't push it away. Let it find its way to the light of day. And then it will most likely resolve.

I'm sure you're right on about the surrounding drama over money.

Take the time to do the work and then you can move on with your intentions. They need to be free of the previous emotional issues for the flow to really get going in the right direction. As you free yourself from emotional blocks, it will began to get more and more clear. Your intentions will move things along and the money issues resolve.