Help, I think I need some shielding

[mtnester]

First, I was handed a limited psychic gift in October 1973 when I was 13. I did not want it, I tried to turn away from it, but long story short, I have it now (and from that day on had heartburn every night of my life until I started taking Aciphex in 2003). I had an empathetic friend in my mother, who was also handed the same thing in her childhood.

My ability was never very focused (I really did not want it), my mother's was MUCH stronger. I think she was my shield to be frank.

Since my mother died suddenly last year, I thought (until now) that she took it all with her (her saving grace to me). WRONG!

The last three weeks, I have been FIGHTING so hard to keep it away, I have been in tears, I have been forcing sleep to stave it off, but, today, at lunch, the man who sat down several tables over from me..my GOD his wave came at me so hard I was nauseous, started sobbing, had to leave the restaurant. When I walked out the door, it was CLEAR what hit me...the man is going to die, and soon, and tragically...period...no questions...the SADNESS and overwhelming clarity of his situation made me physically ill for more than 15 minutes. Only when I was about 2 miles from the restaurant was I able to BREATHE again.

My mother has been on my mind a lot lately. She has not spoken to me in my dreams yet (I must not be ready), but, it is almost like she has been hovering, waiting for today's moment.

So, I am NOT ready for this strong of an assault. I am also not very versed in this, but I think I need SOME type of shielding.

Can anyone help direct me? I need to ease into this stronger ability, not be assaulted by it.

[Metta]

1. Sure.

No wonder you have stomach problems and for so long. You haven't been able to stomach your gifts since you were a child. What you're dealing with is your reaction to rejecting them. The Buddha defined suffering as "Having what you don't want, wanting what you don't have." For an easy time of it, I suggest alternate nostril breathing accompanied by the palm of one or your hands directly over your heart, precise placement helps precise results. There's a really clear explanation of a.n.b. at www.shambhudance,com , second page. I also recommend his circle. They can be done in sequence which strengthens each of them.

I'd be surprised if your conflict is causing only these probems. You won't have much space to hold your mother in dreams with all your fighting. You don't even know how secure or grounded your container. If you'd like to secure your grounding, www.kundaliniteacher.com/meditations/grounding.html is the place. I regularly teach from these pages.

You can do it if you put yourself to it. Bread upon the waters, you know. History isn't destiny.

[mtnester]

2. Thank you for your response.

I fear I have quite the fearful ride ahead of me if I am not prepared in some way. Thank you again. I am off to investigate the path it appears I am now firmly on.

[Metta]

3. Not necessarily.

Fear is a reaction to change. They are intertwined though separate scales of measurement. You prepare yourself as you go just like a car is best served when driving it to heat it up rather than waiting in the driveway to heat it up first. The meditations I mentioned will help you prepare. Focus on them as free standing states of mind and as you begin to integrate your changes. That's the best way of creating a flexible and large enough container to hold initial and deeper integration.

The visualizations, as shambhudance describes, will protect and ground you. You want to be where you can bring up the circle and get into the grounding within a couple of minutes or less anytime you want to, so as to be able to hold one's ground and be more impervious to what we don't want to resonate with/take in such as lower frequencies, dis-ease, illness.

Once you can flexibly hold a circle and can ground, give me shout and I'll give you the next piece, a clearing and resolving piece. If you're firm in your practice, then you'll be able to do deeper work with no ill effects. First things first.

[mtnester]

4. The first thing I need to do is get a state of mind to focus

What I need today and tomorrow is a calming time...a sharing time for a day to "recover" from this if you will. Part of it is the realization, IMO, that this is the kind of thing my mother dealt with all the time, and that in itself is the most shocking part of it.

I have read with interest the single nostril breathing, and intend to start on that in the morning, around 5:30 AM, which is traditionally my quiet time.

Maybe fear was not the word to use, more like preparedness.

I will keep you informed on what I feel my progress is.

[Metta]

5. I'm happy to hear of what happens.

Single nostril breathing will give you the focus you need, even if you don't get past the very first step.

[LWolf]

6. Shielding

I'm glad you've found a good resource already. For what it's worth, here is what I have done to shield:

I visualize armor. When I'm in my car, the car wears the armor. A James Bondish set of silver plates that lock into place. I used to do this for "practice," and because it never hurts to "shield" when you have to drive in SoCal traffic, lol.

Outside the car, I've used a few different shields. One is "armor" like the car; for me, it is like a knight. It shines brightly, reflecting back whatever is projected, and is impenetrable. This was the easiest; it pops into place whenever I focus on it. I've used it when I knew I was going to be in a crowd of people with negative energy, or when someone has targeted me for me for any reason.

Another is a bubble of mist; softer than the armor, it allows more in, and is up when I don't want to lock EVERYTHING out. This is a good one for staff meetings, if you don't want your colleagues to see you as "cold" or "distant," but you still want to keep organizational dysfunction and frustration from zapping you. It did not come as easily, and required more practice to master.

The last is the clear bubble, allowing you to see clearly and others to see you clearly, but shielding out the energies. This one is the most difficult, for me, anyway. I think the "knight" is the easiest because I tend to introversion. I'm a natural loner, don't like large groups, and have probably always shielded myself from them to some degree.

I learned to do these first during meditations, with breathing and visualization. When I could call them up quickly, I "practiced" around small groups of people, and then moved it into the larger world.

[mtnester]

7. Thank you

I am having some difficulty finding a quiet time to perform the SNB technique as suggested to me by the most helpful poster above. This is mostly my fault, and I am trying to correct that. My other half is working with me on finding the right place and time so that I can have complete quiet with no distractions at all.