Need help with getting reinvested in a creative work.

[BlueIris]

Yes, it's my book. I'm having difficulty regenerating my emotional connection to my manuscript. It was once so strong as to be overpowering, but now...it's pretty paired down. When it comes to my novel, all signs from this forum and from my other sources of spiritual insight still point to go, however, so I think there's hope that I can get interested in working on it again. I just don't know how. I'm not blocked as regards the idea or the plot--those things are planned out well at this stage, but I can't get my heart into it again.

Some explanation: despite being recently told that there IS a future in this book--in fact, it's part of my Path--just lately, I'm having a very hard time believing in that future. Or rather, that there will be much that is good, decent, solid, stable, meaningful, normal or right in it. And yes, I'm admittedly not in the world's best living situation at the moment. Nothing to be done about that now.

Does anyone here have any suggestions? Any creative people or sensitives here ever faced a similar crisis? How did you reinvest yourself? I'm open to every solution, but--please, no one tell me to "just start writing." Creative visualization doesn't do it for me. I'm concerned that if I try to force myself to write anymore in this state, I will kill whatever remaining potential there is for this project. I'm trying to write a book with soul and for that, I have to er, have my soul.

I get that it's possible that no one here can help me solve this highly individual problem, but--are there any "little" rituals anyone can tell me about for helping me get, well, emotional about this again? Anything--flower essence, tea, candle--would be excellent.

[Idylle Moon Dancer]

1. different disciplines, but maybe it'll spur some ideas

my first love was music. I've drifted away from time to time, but I have always returned. With my latest return I had an intellectual desire to get back into playing and composing, but the emotional element was lacking and I generally felt uninspired. So I got me some books of tunes that I thought I would enjoy learning and playing, and I did enjoy it. The more I studied these tunes, the more inspiration I got for some original composition. I don't know how to apply this to writing prose, but I hope it spurs an idea or two.

[BlueIris]

3. Thank you. I'd forgotten that trick.

I think there are definitely a couple of other things I could work on right now.

[Matariki]

2. as a painter -

i've found that sometimes you just have to get through the dry spells by working without inspiration. usually a spark will catch by consistently working.

also, i think there is a danger in projecting forward to whether your project will have success or not. of course as artist we want that success but it creates a dynamic where we become too concerned with how it will be received over really expressing ourselves. that can create a lack of passion.

i've also been experimenting with ritual to generate inspiration. solar rituals are said to be good for inspiration. mercury would be good specifically for writing (i employed mercury when i was translating a couple books for publication - which worked out rather well considering i only had one year of high school german: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1879000091/qid=1137455816/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-2715404-6255361?s=books&v=glance&n=283155 ).

i'm about to work with elemental fire to generate passion and inspiration for my work, and my partner and i are constructing a set of rituals where we will infuse vodka as a sort of liquid talisman with ALL the seven planetary forces, for the purpose of artistic inspiration. The idea being that all the planets contribute - sun and moon for direct inspiration, mars for energy and drive to create, jupiter for optimism and opportunity, venus for aesthetics, mercury for perfection of craft, saturn for structure and self discipline.

[BlueIris]

4. Thank you, too.

Just for the record, what I meant by "success," and wondering about whether there will be a future worth publishing my book in was...I've developed a certain kind of negativity about the future that was just--it was killing my ability to feel anything emotional about the present. I'm trying to heal and recover from that today and it's getting a little better. What I've now realized is that I'm not emotionally connected to my book because I'm not emotionally connected to much of anything just right now. There are a lot of reasons for that I'm trying to address them for the sake of my own mental health, not just for the health of my book. Regardless, I think you for the tip that focusing on whether the book will be "successful" (which for me, now means, "will at least three or four people read it and feel something of what I was trying to communicate?") is probably not productive or helpful at this stage of the game.

It's good to be reminded about relevant astrological transits, too. I'm trying to find ways to make knowledge about astrology useful to me, but not inhibiting, restricting or imposing.

[Why Syzygy]

9. That is way cool.

Vodka. Inspiration. I can see it.

[Thirtieschild]

5. I'm in exactly the same boat with a novel

My biggest stumbling block is that I don't believe in myself, read what I've written and think it's good but am sure I can't do it again, sputter and stop with each new scene. (I can thank my natal Saturn-Mercury conjunction for this one. Also for my tendency to write too sparingly - I don't say enough.) However, I do find that "dry spells" (as opposed to "fear spells") often mean I'm heading in the wrong direction.

Publishing is so hard - actually finishing the book, finding an agent, finding a publisher, getting reviewed, "making it" - that I wonder that any of us even try. So much depends on the publisher believing in the book and PUSHING it. Most of the time they leave it up to the writer, and then wonder why the book bombs. A very close friend got a $300,000 advance (which is phenomenal) and they still didn't push the book.

In the last year I've let several good Jupiter and ninth house aspects slip by. Sigh. I once had an astrological book accepted by a publisher - didn't finish the book, the publisher eventually folded. When I dropped the sample and query in the mailbox, I realized with a sinking heart that the transiting ascendant was conjunct my Jupiter. Sinking heart because I figured I was damned either way, damned if I was rejected and damned if the book was accepted and I had to finish it. Which of course I didn't.

One last comment. My husband's novel, published in June 2003, is coming out in paperback this month. It's the story of a maneating tiger loose in the mountains of North Georgia. The heart of the book is the battle for the soul of a young boy between the tiger and an aging hunter who comes from the U.K. to kill the tiger. The tiger is trying to teach the child what it means to be a tiger and the hunter what it means to be a man. The ending as he wrote it, and which the publisher insisted he change, was that both the tiger and the hunter had died fifty years earlier and had come back to do battle again, now with Roy, in India with a child named Ravi. The book was published in hardback as Shikar (now remaindered on Amazon), is coming out in paperback as Maneater. He didn't have good aspects when the book was published, in fact had almost none, just a progressed angle conjunct progressed Mercury, which in my experience acts as briefly as the progressed Moon; right now he has progressed ascendant trine the Moon, progressed Moon conjunct Jupiter. The Moon is in the 11th house (Placidus) or the 10th (Koch). Who knows?

(Edited for spelling error.)

[stellanoir]

6. Oh dear. . .

I used to do readings for kids near one of the most prestigious art institutes in the country. Then I would joke with the kids that one day I might just get tarred and feathered by a consortium of their professors for saying, "the muse is not consistant. Yes, both discipline and perfecting technique are things that require attentiveness, but the muse comes and goes as it does and cannot be forced."

Sounds as though you might be feeling somewhat stymied by Venus retro right now and that you may just need to get out of your own way for a while and not try to force it.

I too have been on a writing roll since the global peace meditation on October 29th, but the inspiration has sort of quelled of late as I'm a bit daunted by a rather enormous edit and integration challenge.

But just yesterday, I was inspired to send out some writing I hadn't even looked at for years from back in 1993. It was prophetic then and is still relevant now. It was sort of a users manual for the then approaching new millennium.

So maybe take a break and/or mix it up for a while.

Mercury in Capricorn is not exactly fluid ya know? Maybe lighten up a little bit for now.

If you want me to take a look at your chart then PM me with your data and I'm fairly sure I'll be able to see when your inspirational flow will free up.
Send your e-addy if you want to see the short version of what I've been up to of late. I won't spam ya and it'll probably make you smile.

Best to you

[BlueIris]

7. I hadn't even considered the Venus retrograde factor.

Yikers.

That's very nice of you to offer to look at my chart! I'll think about it if things don't start clearing up, soon. Taking a brief sabbatical from the Process seems to have been a good thing--less anxiety of the "dead inside" feeling I have about the book. And I would love to see some of your work! :-)

[Why Syzygy]

8. Take up knitting

or go on a nature hike. You've got to let your mind go so it can return to you. Butterfly effect.

Don't keep torturing yourself about it. Wash the dishes, bake some brownies. And, yes, write.. but about something else. About what is eating at you. I admire the fact that you are writing a BOOK and have everything lined out. That is Fabulous! But, give the brain a break. I think that's the message. Creativity comes when we least expect it. And oh it feels so good.

[LiberalEsto]

10. I'm in a similar situation

I just cannot make myself work on editing and reworking my manuscript.

Partly its because neither my husband nor college-age daughters will even read it. That hurts. It's not even long. Their lack of support just knocked the wind out of my sails.

I guess I'm afraid everyone else will reject it too.

[Matariki]

11. hey, that's what the internet's for

you should post it somewhere - or parts of it. i'd read it.

i was just reading about some guy who posted his novel in parts, it got popular and now it's being published in whole by a major publisher. (sorry i don't have more details at the moment). anyway, there must be lots of places where you could post your writing. on your own site or on live journal even - then post links.

[Why Syzygy]

12. do you have a collegue who

will read it? Some peers? Please don't let the lack of in-house support knock your sails out.

[BlueIris]

13. Don't want to post too much for now, but things are a little better.

What worked was...not working. And not thinking about my frustrations over my lack of emotion about my book and everything else. Also, stellanoir is AWESOME! She sent me an astrological explanation for why things were sucking for me right now that seemed to be a big part of this little breakthrough.

Other things that assisted me, in case the still-blocked want to know: a lovely bunch of dried, organic sweetgrass. Supposedly, it's for attracting good spirits, both literal and figurative. I burned a few leaves around my computer, but the truth is--it was nice just to have the bundle sit on my desk, where I could occasionally reach over and smell it. Very opening. I also burned an Aloha Bay candle designed to help me acquire and develop "abundance," a trick I've used before to great success. Finally, I thought seriously on the victories we have had as liberals, Progressives, Democrats and citizens for less corruption in government. I know, not all that much comfort for now, especially tonight, but thinking about Fitz, Conyers, Murtha, the elections this last November and a few other people and things I like helped me stop thinking so goddamn much about the future and my fears for it.

Well, off to go capitalize on my new, non-blockedness. Good night, all.

[Thirtieschild]

14. Worried I was too negative

in my earlier response. I was writing from my own frustration at seeing so many books die - my husband's, my two closest friends', my son-in-law's. But I don't think publishing a best-seller, even publishing one that sells just 3000 copies, is the reason to write. I'm writing, ever so slowly, because I don't want to lose the talent. I've wasted it, and would like to have it next time around. I'll be 71 next month and realize I won't have time to finish this novel and write the four more that are in my head, not unless I live to be 130 and stay sharp. Or unless I write at a faster pace than a chapter a year. The reason to write is because that's who you are. And if you hit a fallow period - well, you don't know what is going on beneath the surface. I think that sometimes the dry periods are to let the ideas come together; they will burst forth.

And even if only a few people read the book, you never know who you might touch - and how. As I said in my earlier post, my husband's book was about a man-eating tiger loose in the mountains of North Georgia. I took a call from a man in Oklahoma who told me an amazing story. He lost a much-loved horse to a mountain lion - the horse died with its head in his lap. He was filled with hate, with fury, he wanted nothing more than to track the lion and kill it. Then he read Jack's book and understood the death from the point of view of the lion, and all that anger melted away. That, alone, was worth writing the book.

So, take heart, Blue Iris. (BTW, I love your name. I'm sorry I chose Disorganized, but at the time that's how I was feeling.) Use your talent, concentrate on the creation, and let the chips fall where they may. One of my firm beliefs is that the Universe doesn't waste, and that each of us has the talent we need to accomplish what we came to accomplish.

Edited for grammar.