Can you guys send out a prayer / call for justice?

[davsand]

Sorry to have to ask, but my former abuser/ former boss is being investigated for harassment and abuse of his female employees. Two more female employees have stepped forward and filed suit.

I documented him for my abuse and harassment, and I opened the formal record on him. At the time, I warned them that he was a serial abuser and he was going to start messing with other women when I was out of his control.

I wasn't lying. I warned them then that he was a huge legal liability, and even if they didn't act on my case, they had formal notice it was going on. I was the first to step up and report him, and I knew one person was not enough to establish a pattern. I also knew that pattern was there.

Well, now, the union local has stepped in on behalf of one of the women, and the other has filed charges as well (she is not a union member. I wasn't, either.) A formal investigation is underway, and this is ugly enough stuff that I don't think he'll be able to skate on it.

I have been beating myself up for not having filed a civil suit when he did it to me. I took a pay cut to get out from under him and back into a job I loved. I documented EVERYTHING he did to me. I handed all of that documentation over to the authorities before I left his employ.

I was in a hostile work environ with an emotional abuser. I was kept outside my job description from day one and never given the required training. He attempted to isolate me and he threatened me daily. He fired me one day and I explained to him that it would cost him more if he fired me--that I'd already filed charges of abuse and harassment. He, then, claimed I blackmailed him to keep my job.

I documented ALL of it. I even turned over copies of abusive memos and emails that he was sending me (sometimes three a day!) I spent a year of my life on anti-depressants and tranquilizers because of that man and the things he was doing.

Now it is looking like the groundwork I laid is gonna make a difference. Those women were able to walk in today and do what they did (so quickly) because of the stress that I lived with last year. FINALLY we are seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

All we seek is justice. Nothing more, nothing less. Let him be judged on his own actions.

Can you guys just light a candle or send up a request for justice on this? Please? He's a sociopathic narcissist who should never be in any position of authority over women again--EVER.

Thanks.


Laura

[bliss_eternal]

1. davsand--

I'm very sorry to hear you are going through this. I will send you all of my good thoughts on this situation. :hug:

[Shine]

2. Blessings and white light to you, my sister.

and kudos to your for your Courage. :thumbsup:

:hug:
Shine

[davsand]

3. I don't know that it was courage. It was a matter of survival.

I honestly can't claim much courage in all of this. I cried a lot and I raged silently for far too long. Finally, I hit my break point and I acted.

I got a call last night that he'd finally stepped over the line with his most recent victim. I seriously was flashing back to what I tried to leave behind when I left his employ. I can't begin to describe the paralytic feeling that I had when it was happening.

I watched another women cry this morning when she had to walk into that office. I felt both rage and sadness that I had not acted sooner. I feel like I didn't do enough, somehow. I did what I could at the time--but it still happened to them.

I know what that woman was feeling. I know how awful it is to walk into that kind of situation and deal with him--all because it is a paycheck. I know what it is to walk out at night, go home, and worry about what fresh hell will be waiting the NEXT time. I know what it is to walk on eggshells for fear of pissing him off and having to listen to him on one of his rants.

It is a living hell.

I have been afraid to try much of anything when it came to visualizations or prayers or even spells. I am angry and I knew that I was acting out of malice if I did anything other than ask for justice. I have asked that we all see justice. What that justice is--I don't know.

What is fair and just for someone that is like he is? What is a fair "settlement" for a year of my life that was miserable? What is "fair" for a man who abuses women and mistreats them for sport? I have no clear resolution in my mind, nor do I have any idea how this will play out other than I want him stopped.

I'm angry, I'm also feeling pretty battered--especially after today's events--but I don't feel too terribly brave right now.

Thanks for caring. It helps.


Laura

[I Have A Dream]

8. davsand, you say that you feel bad that you didn't do enough.

You absolutely DID do enough because these women are believed because of the action that you took. You deserve real credit for what you did -- you couldn't do anything more and still take care of yourself, a traumatized person.

I ask that the Universe allow him to experience, at the earliest opportunity, what he deserves for the acts that he's committed. (This or something better for the highest good of all involved.)

I really think that you should be proud of yourself rather than disappointed in yourself. :hug:

[BlueIris]

4. I will definitely meditate on this.

I really hope the situation works out for the best.

[FreedomAngel82]

5. I'm sorry you went through that

:hug: Sending light to you and the others.

[rumpel]

6. positive energy coming your way.

[loudsue]

7. Big hugs, davsand.....I have been where you are, and it is painful

indeed.

I wish you complete healing from this, and I wish for this man that he will be stopped, entirely, from having this opportunity ever again.

(((((Big hugs!! )))))) And :applause: Good on ya! for having the courage to stand up for yourself in this way. You are great for documenting what you went through.... that's going to help nail the issues. It would be wonderful if he had copies of all of that to read, so he could see what misery he has caused. He may not care right now, but SOME DAY, something will happen to him, and he'll realize that it all comes back to him.

Light and love and prayers for healing coming your way. You're stronger than you realize right now...by far.

And thank you for sharing this with us. I remember when you changed jobs to get away from him.

:kick:

[NuttyFluffers]

9. i will send out a prayer for justice, too.

in the end, the light prevails. it always does. not exactly in the ways we think, but rest assured, it does.

:grouphug: O8)

[davsand]

10. "...light prevails. it always does. not exactly in the ways we think..."

True enough. As I have said before, I'm not exactly what justice actually IS in this case.

I have talked to both of the other women involved. On both accounts it was incredibly emotional for us all. neither feels that I let them down--I feel like I have been released from that guilt.

We all cried and raged together, and that by itself was helpful because none of us are in it alone any more. You can frame it that misery loves company, but really it is more than that. The isolation you feel when you are in the middle of it is just horrible. It is part of his MO.

Something else that has come out in talking to them is the feeling that we all share that this man is potentially physically dangerous. Both women brought up the fact that they are not just afraid of dealing with him in the workplace, but that they are also afraid of what he may do when this investigation is concluded.

I have said the same thing to more than a few other folks privately. This guy is F***ing nuts. I can very easily see him as a physical threat in the workplace afterward. To be honest, if I had a conceal and carry permit, I'd be armed in that office at all times.

Yep, it is THAT bad. He's paranoid, delusional and obsessed. He's a narcissist who has exhibited and continues to exhibit sociopathic behaviors. These are not exactly things that make you feel safe if you've pissed him off--even IF he's not your boss any more.

I have found out that other people have been talking to the authorities about him since I broke ranks last year. I think this goes deeper than just his immediate office. The State's Attorney's office has become involved.

The internal investigation is expected to be finished by Wed or Thursday, we are being told. At that point, I doubt that anything final will be accomplished until maybe mid-February. They may, in the meantime, try and force a resignation (holding up the ghost of bad publicity) or they may put him on some kind of administrative leave. They may leave him in place with a prohibition of any further interaction with the women (highly unlikely, IMO.)

I have told the other two women that they can call me day or night if they need anything--and I'll be making a point to BE in that office until this is done. I'm not enjoying it much, but I think it helps them to see me in there with them.

One of them made the comment that they know I'm standing shoulder to shoulder with them and THAT counts for a lot.

I'll keep you guys updated as I hear stuff. (I'm sure it is probably WAY more entertaining that some of the TV programs out there for anybody not stuck in the middle of it!)

Thank you ALL for your support. This is not easy.


Laura