a fun contract and some other assorted blatherings

[stellanoir]

for Valentine's Day: A Fun Contract and some other stuff:

Just for the fun of it and in honor of the 18th anniversary of the first Earth Dance festival (2/14/88), I'm posting a Fun Contract and some blather about relationship dynamics I wrote a while ago and some references to the debacle of the first Earth Dance festival.

When I first wrote it I was convinced for a while I had cracked the code for interpersonal relationships or something. Then more recently, I forwarded it a friend who was miserable in her marriage. She showed her husband the contract and he became really irate. So go figure.

These are all excerpts from my most recent text which is up to over 100 pages now.
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" . . .Consider signing a "fun contract" firstly, to insure and sustain mutual
enjoyment. It covers far more, than is included in the "love, honor, and
cherish" schtick, which has failed so miserably, in more than half of all
incidents , and has been at times, been at great, and often, exacting
expense.

We have a far too litigious a culture, yet have nary a rule for basic fun. By the by, fun is a
really important aspect of life. If you hadn't noticed. It would be really entertaining to see a case brought to grumblepusses on the Supreme Court, to have them speculate over what truly qualifies as fun, and what is not.

You see, consider having more fun, perchance living in greater "conscientious-ness" and live with far fewer contractual obligations on papers that so often bind.
Here is an example of one such totally non legally binding contract. .
.
"Fun Contract": . .It is a rough draft. Feel free to modify, on a case by case, basis.

"We the undersigned, hereby agree to the following terms and conditions for continued interaction, In the case that the terms are stringently abided, the undersigned, can perhaps, hang out whenever they want to, for intervals of time that are mutually agreed upon, convenient, and so desired.

-Interactions may continue for as long as "experiences" continue to be more often fun, for both parties, than they are not.

-Granted, it is a foregone conclusion that "fun", can indeed be at times, somewhat subjective, and is often, most spuriously fleeting, so what qualifies as fun will be defined and assessed frequently, by both parties, and in equal measure. If problems arise, as they invariably may, both parties hereby pledge, to maintain kindness, humor, compassion, and humility in most if not all instances, whenever possible, and not necessarily in that order.

-If either party should decide or determine, based on empirical, or even imagined evidence, that they are having fun, less often than they would prefer, both parties will agree to no longer hang out, at least for a while, and until they are mutually and deeply drawn to do so again. If ever, and as ever.

This document is signed and is ever subject to incessant and eternal re-evaluation and/or possible renegotiations equally, eternally, by both parties."
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Musing on Soul Mates and Such

There is a boatload of confusion that often transpires interpersonally. Another friend was speculating that he had known and lost his "soul mate." That got me thinking about this matter greatly, so I wrote this to him last year.

"This is of course, pure speculation about that particular phenomenon. . . Having dedicated a ton of time to counseling folks about the total mystery of interpersonal dynamics, I've heard many speak of and met some pairs of presumed soul mates. I do believe that they do indeed truly exist and in some cases, actually get to be together. But considering the types of experiences I've observed I don't believe it's always a situation of absolution.

There are also soul connections where people are drawing from the same oversoul. That's kind of like an etheric tribe or collective, represented by what is conventionally referred to as an Archangel or some other larger than life entity. I always recognize those folks with whom I'm connected in that regard, even if I don't ever interact with them personally. That's a deep soul connection but not necessarily a soul mate. Those are more than likely, the root cause of the dynamic of "hero worship" (aka idolatry) as well.

Though soul connections are eternal on the spiritual plane, they can often be transitory in terms of shared purpose on the physical plane. This oftentimes results in a holy host of confusion. The ruse of becoming whole through another when one hasn't arrived at wholeness within themselves can of course be utterly tragic. I personally blame Disney (not the Cathars) for this. The ruse that all chicks "will get swept off their feet" by 16 or 17 by a dude on a white horse, has caused many to end up in "gutter surrounded by horse poop. . .wondering,"how the heck did this happen?""

There are also twin flames. Sometimes the energy between two of those is so intense they can't even be around each other much or for very long. It varies wildly though. Whirlwind romances that end as suddenly as they began can occur between them, leaving both parties completely baffled. They can also be of the same gender.

The obtuse decades old cat and mouse saga of myself and my twin flame would make your head spin so I'll spare you. Suffice it to say that I always used to joke that "we shared same brain" but held totally incompatible short term motivations and priorities.

Just babbling here 'cause I don't want you to feel as though the kind of thing you experienced with this woman was necessarily an occasion of singularity. I know from droves of anecdotal evidence, that if this woman was truly your soul mate, you probably wouldn't have lost touch with her. She was probably either a very deep soul connection or perhaps a twin flame.

Reunited twin flames invariably conduct a tremendous amount of energy and that may be why their physical connection can often either over amp or burn out really quickly. It's very simply, very hard to channel and ground an identical energy on a plane of duality.

Understand that there are innumerable half baked theories out there on this subject. This is just MY current half baked take on it and like any opinion is subject to change on a dime. And yes. . . I do realize that all of this may sound terribly convoluted but that is what tends to happen when anyone tries to describe "inter-dimensional" energies in a non dogmatic way."
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The First Earth Dance Festival

Now in retrospect, the first Earth Dance is an outrageously funny tale, about which I will soon write. Though at the time, the event was foibled in truly absurd and innumerable ways.

Those ways were inclusive of: a vision, a rattlesnake, a fall 5 months prior cushioned by amazing & most familiar, and ultimately "b-b-b-baddd" guitar chords emanating from the Greek Theater below, a most presumptuous though humbly unsophisticated flyer curiously sent to Hollywood heavy hitters in the days when overstated "greed (was misguidedly declared to be) good," a blown out generator in a Winnabago borrowed from a really kind and understanding Muslim man who never even charged me a lousy dime, clout unwittingly gained strangely by a somewhat odd dynamic with the last celebrity born of the traditional star system in Hollywood, a cracked etheric egg, an semi opportunist who was sort of a control freak, mismatched and inappropriately adorned socks, an uplifting script, some dumb magic performed by much older hippies long, long before, misunderstood manipulations by my twin flame who was then living a lie, a then recently deceased Paramount producer of films, a renegade Hippie Hasid, an Siamese Fighting Fish named "Gilgamesh," "Glamour (was then as it persists today, sometimes) a World Problem," the muse of the spirits of many rock stars dead and alive, three kind park rangers, two star crossed lovers, ". . .and a partridge in a pear tree. . ." I'm kidding ONLY about the partridge.

I only learned recently that these guys ( http://www.earthdance.org / ) who were at least partially aware of what happened back then, have kept that vision alive, while I was more often than not, altogether elsewhere. I'm wishing for great blessings upon all their souls and drums.