I have something I need to ask help with....(long post)

[Ecumenist]

I am willing to trade with anyone who can give me insight. You might ask why I don't look into it myself and the partial answer to that is I have and it will become readily apparent VERY soon as to why I cannot trust my insight completely. The two year anniversary of my mother Margie's(08.16.42.4:30 pm Rice Texas), passing is February 23 and it was not good. My mother was a knitter and she also did needlepoint, embroidery as well as weaving as well as a new grandmother and she'd gone to a convention called Threads in Oakland California. It was a convention that she was looking forward to attending and it ran from thursday 02.19.04 through sunday 02.22.04. Background is my mom had had two major strokes, one in 1995,(the week before the Oklahoma City bombing) and the second one a bit under 2 months before my wedding, march 14 2001, which left her blind from midpoint to the left. She was unable to do alot and unfortunately was left without the ability to do alot of things for her self. I asked God, my People, (the spirits around me) for help and somehow was able to to teach her brain to see again,walk, use her left side and come back to herself, muuch to the profound shock of her doctor who had predicted that she would be incompetent for the rest of her life and suggested institutionalisation. I came back home to my mom after my wedding nad honeymoon to take care of my mother and didn't move in with my husband for 8 months after we married. The thing about both the strokes was that I was there both times she had her strokes and her strokes were VERY slow,( the first one took place over 4 days and the second one took place over 2.5 days. As I mentioned before, she had gone to the convention and one of my brothers had driven her there where he checked her into a VERY WELL KNOWN hotel chain and the plan was to have her take the last Amtrak back to Sacramento that sunday, which was due in @ 12 midnight. Evidently, there was, on that last day, a final class early that afternoon and a farewell dinner @ 6:00pm. The hotels allow late checkout just for that reason.
That night @ the appointed time, my brothers went to pick her up from the train station but the train had be detained @Danville, if IIRC and they were told to come back @ 1:00, when the train was scheduled to arrive.
They went to pick her at the appointed time and and when everyone had disembarked, my mom hadn't gotten off the train. Adam alerted the staff and security, who promptly searched the train but they didn't find her. The VERY first thing my brother Adam, the younger of the two brothers, (06.29.75 hollywood california), was to phone the hotel to ask if mom was still there. The night manager told him that he thought she'd checked out but wasn't certain that she'd gotten her bags:eyes: Now, keep in mind that I hadn't been called yet, although I live in the same county because they were trying to resolve this issue and didn't realise how serious this was. As a matter of fact, I was asleep because my husband had to get up REALLY early the next morning and as fate would have it, was due to do an install in Oakland! ( A morning person I ain't, try though I may). That night, or morning rather, I had a dream where I found myself sitting on the docks in Oakland with my back to the bay. I remember smelling what I believe what creosote and I was sitting in what I can only term an "upright fetal position" with my arms wrapped around my legs, my knees in my chest. I was watching people, dressed in white but they were moving so fast that they were mere blurs. They had block-like items in their hands and they were selling them. I knew instantly that these blocks were pieces of my home that they were dismantling and selling. Weirdest thing was that neither my mother nor I owned a home at the time. The next thing is the strangest, I heard myself saying, "I'm so alone, I so afraid, Jerry please call me, I'm so alone." . I awoke with a start in a cold sweat at 4:51 am. I couldn't go back to sleep so I stayed awake and when my husband got up, I told him about the dream and when I got to the part where I heard myself in the dream speaking, I said, "I don't talk like that, my Mother does." Now this was about 6:30 am. At 8:00 am, Adam called me and said, "I don't want to you to panic but Mom's missing." I asked him what was going on and of course, I leapt into action. I called the headquarters of the place that puts on the convention but they had no information and wouldn't have for 3 days. I then called Amtrak but do the frigging changes in the law since idiot stole the whitehouse, I wasn't allowed to get any info but the police would have to. My other brother, the Idiot, (long story, april 3,1967 long beach california), who I thought was checking things was WAITING for the hotel to call him back regarding her bags SINCE 1:30 AM!!!:wtf:
I'd already phoned the police to make certain they were still searching.
So, to keep from slapping the living daylights out of him, I told him to call every Amtrak station between San Jose and Roseville and have someone call mom using her maiden name over the intercom because by this time, I figured that she's had another stroke and could be confused. By this time, I'd gotten sick and tired of waiting for the manager of this WELL KNOWN HOTEL CHAIN, to call back. So I called him and asked after my mother, (this was MONDAY 02.23.04!!!). He tried to give me that same song and dance about how he didn't work that night before, therefore he wouldn't know. Understandably, I was pissed beyond the NTH DEGREE and let's just say that I told him, verbatim,"I'm sure that my mother's bag didn't disappear during the day and reappear at night like Dracula. Carry your ass over to wherever you keep the bags and call me back to tell me if they're still there". This was around 1:00 pm that afternoon. I hung up with this WORLD FAMOUS HOTEL CHAIN and called the police. Come to find out that my brother, the Aries and rocket scientist had played down my mother's medical problem. I provided the correct information that changed her status from a missing adult to an endangered missing adult. I also found out later that he's called the hotel and they'd told him that she'd checked out. This is VERY IMPORTANT to remember. Unbeknowst to me, the manager called back and LEFT A MESSAGE on my answering service, (I have the tape), saying that my Mother has checked out @ 12:00 pm the day before and had come back to get her bags @ 6:00pm. Not the brightest light in the harbour.
THIS IS ALSO A VERY IMPORTANT POINT TO REMEMBER.
I had no idea until MUCH LATER ON THAT EVENING that he'd called and left that lie. It had also taken him a bit over an hour to return my call. In the ensuing hours between 2:00 and 5:00 pm, the police,(I found out later), searched the hospitals again, called Amtrak and ascertained that my mother had never boarded the train and the WELL KNOWN HOTEL CHAIN again. While I was waiting, they, (the hotel chain), called my brother who lived with my mother. They called my brother and told him that my mother hadn't gotten her bags, a white woman had. Now, there was no way you could mistake my mother for a white woman even though three of her grandparents were white. She was a light caramel colour and the manager talks about seeing her on check in. About 20 to 30 minutes later, another call comes in. It was a woman and she told my brother quote, "someone fitting the description of my mother is in the room, with the door locked, the window closed and the curtains drawn. That she'd STOLEN the key card and snuck into the room. This person went on to say that they'd called the police and and that they were waiting at the front desk. Adam informed them that she'd probably had a stroke and that they needed to get her help, to please have the police knock the door down to get her medical help. The broad that called Adam actually had a nasty disposition and told him that without a warrant, they couldn't do this. In the confusion, I didn't learn that part of the conversation until after it was all over. I asked Adam how is it they were sure it was mom? He didn't didn't know either.
My mother's phone didn't have call waiting so he was calling me and relaying the information. I didn't want him to stay on the phone because I thought that my mother may call if she was in the room. We breathed a VERY temporary sigh of relief as my aries brother prepared to go to Oakland to pick her up or meet her at hospital or whatever was needed. The next thing i know, I get another relayed call saying that yet another call saying that "someone fitting the description of mom was in the room, with the door locked from the inside, windows closed and the curtains drawn and wasn't answering the door."
At this point, I was pissed and I decided I would call. When I spoke to this woman, she told me that and this b***h was cheeky), "my mother owed money for monday because she was due to check out Sunday and she'd stolen the card key, snuck into the room and now, someone fitting the description of my mother was in the room with the door closed and locked from the inside, window closed and curtains drawn." That last part was a constant, as if they were reading it from a script. I told her that her manager had told me us she'd checked out, so how could this be?
I asked how they knew it was a mother if she was in the room with the door locked and the curtains drawn. This Broad, (categorically refused to give me her name), actually told me that, quote:" the manager decided to take a walk and he realised that someone fitting the description of your mother was in the room." I asked her if he could see through walls and she said no, then, how did he know that whoever was in the room? She actually repeated that sorry-assed, "he took a walk, yada, yada, yada." Now, it was raining like it was going out of style on that day. This was about 6:30 that evening and well past sundown. I asked her to call 911 because she probably had a another stroke and needed help. She assured me she would and would call me back as soon as she did. I waited about 45 minutes and I called back. She told me that 911 hadn't showed up yet. I asked her to please open the door and get her help, to make a long story short, I was told that they couldn't do that. My husband begged her to and she refused. I made 5 phone calls to that VERY FAMOUS HOTEL asking them if they'd called 911, was told they had, they WOULDN'T break the door down and was actually told at one point that 911 takes their time to arrive on scene. At one point, the b*tch made the strategic mistake of giving me the room number, (I hadn't known it). As soon as I hung up with her, I called back immediately and asked the front desk for rm 133.
I was put through and the same woman answered the phone!! I asked her if she was in the room, of course she said no and then I asked for my mother. She launched into that same spiel about "door locked, windows closed, curtains drawn". I felt I didn't have time to argue, as she once again assured me that she had called 911 and would call me back. I decided to call Alameda county 911 from Sacramento county by first calling the local 911, hoping they would patch me through as they had once before when a fried wa being abused in a rural area in Placerville. No such luck BUT they did tell me where to call, which I did. I explained to Oakland emergency why I was calling and to please send help to the address of the HUGELY FAMOUS HOTEL CHAIN. About 10:25, I called Adam to see if anyone had called him and he said noone had, so I asked him to hold on while I phone the hotel. I asked to be put through to the room and the same cheeky bitch answered the phone. I asked her if 911 has shown up, she said yes; I asked her if my mother was conscious, she said no. I then asked her to speak to an EMT. The EMT came to phone and when he started asking questions about my mother's description, I knew what he was going to say. My knees buckled but luckily, I had my brother o the phone and it was at this time that he told my brother that if they'd been able to get to her just a hour earlier, she may have been alive. I found out a couple of days later when I called the police station to get the report that not only had that hotel's staff NEVER CALLED 911 but, ( and this is the most sickening part of it all), 911 and the Oakland police HQ was RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET!! The police officers were so disgusted with what had happened that they'd told me to "sue their asses because they let your mother die." More than a few of them told me that they wanted to see if they could get the go ahead to charge them with negligent homicide with depraved indifference.
Turned out that my mother NEVER LEFT THAT ROOM!! She was in her jammies with curlers in her hair and they had the nerve to claim that they had no idea that she was in that room for 34 HOURS PAST THE CHECKOUT!!!! The room was CLEARLY visible from the office and in fact, was on the the first floor. When I got her bags back, she had no money on her, (well she had 84 cents total and there's no way my mother would have done that). There was also a serrated steak knife in her bag with reddish brown substance on it BUT because I had touched it, I was told that it wasn't useful by the investigator. It took me almost 6 months to get her EMT report,(which was strangely still in Alameda county, not archived in Modesto like they usually are after a )certain period of time AND her police report and I only got part of the police report, I found out later. WE ordered a private autopsy and when he finished the procedure, the pathologist called me fit to be tied. He asked me what happened and he told me to sue because they allowed my mother to die and that it had taken a VERY LONG TIME. Now keep in mind that I have a tape where their manager is telling me that my mother had checked out noon sunday and came back to get her bags @6:00 pm sunday the 22nd and the EMTs didn't get into the room until 10:30pm MONDAY 23 FEBRUARY!!
Of course, I'm suing for justice for my mother, who I loved with all my heart and wasn't allowed the dignity a person would give a beagle with a broken leg and so it never happens to anyone else's friend, loved one or enemy. As I said, I won't say the name of the WORLD FAMOUS HOTEL but their initials are H.O.W.A.R.D. J.O.H.N.S.O.N. They also have alot of advertising in AARP for travel.

PS: My mother was competent and well on her way to return to her life. I also found out that she'd bought alot of calling cards and not one was found in her bags or purse. I know that when she had strokes, they were always in response to stress and I wonder what happened to precipitate this last stroke, although I have a bit of insight but I can't trust my intuition because my emotions get in my way. Thank you in advance for any help you can provide for my own peace of mind and again, I will freely trade for compensation and gratitude.

[Idylle Moon Dancer]

1. well, Holy Mackerel!

that's one heck of a shocking debacle! very strange.

the dream suggests to me someone helpless being taken advantage of.

The first thing that comes to mind almost seems too ridiculous, that everyone among the hotel staff that you spoke with was involved in the petty ransacking of the belongings of a person in dire straits, and/or conspiring in inept cover-up, and/or abject stupidity and dullness. Truth is often stranger than fiction.

I hope you find resolution soon.

[Ecumenist]

2. Thank you Crab....

I feel that as well and although I've not be posting much longer than you but I want to welcome you warmly..:hi:

[Quakerfriend]

3. Ecumenist, that is one horrific tale. I'm so sorry for all the pain

this has caused you!!

If you have not yet begun a law suite, you should. It would be MOST JUSTIFIED!! It all seems so senseless and absurd!

However, on a spiritual level, I believe that we all choose the path we end up traveling through life- every bit of it. Your Mom chose the path best for her soul's growth.

So, when there is suffering it is for a purpose. As wacky as that may seem, at times. Her soul has chosen to work something out in this way. It may not make sense to us, but I do think that it is that soul's chosen way.

It sounds as though you were a wonderful daughter to your Mom. And, I am so moved by the story of her healing from the bad stroke she had. I'm sure your love had a great deal to do with that!
It may be most helpful for you to try to 'contact' mom thru a medium or simply through prayer. I'm sure she's very close by!:hug:

[Ecumenist]

4. thank you, Quakerfriend

I am suing, if for no other reason than to make as certain as I can that this never happens to anyone else. It brought tears to my eyes to read what you posted and have confirmation. Oddly enough, I am a "medium" and mom visits me ALOT. It's just that when you're so close to a situation emotionally, it's hard to separate true intuition from desire and want. The day after her memorial, my husband felt let to go to Virginia City to the oldest Catholic church in the Sierra region. I wanted to have a mass said for her but didn't know how to ask or if I could because I don't attend that church regularly but we try to go everytime we're in Reno and/or Tahoe. We got there in time for the 3:00pm Mass and hot dog, the priest decided to do a mass for all those who'd lost someone recently as a friend of his has died two days before. He asked people in the congregation to raise their hands so that he could remember them by name and I raised mine , gave Mama's name and he honoured her. I knew that God had lead my husband to go to Virginia City to have my wish for her granted. After the mass, he took time out to let me know that his mom had died and she still makes sure he follows everything she taught him, assuring me that my mom would always be there for me.
Two weeks ago, on wednesday, Mom materialised to me and she looked as beautiful as she did before the brain damage took it's toll on her face. Good gracious, she looks younger than me..LOL!!
Thank you, Again, Quaker:pals:

[japple]

6. What a heartbreaking story. I am so sorry you had to go through this,

Ecumenist, but I do believe there is a purpose for everything that happens to us, and I believe your Mother was really ready to go. She might have been ready to go when she had her first strokes, but stayed around for your benefit. Maybe she let you help her to heal in order for you to gain confidence in your abilities. Could it be that she chose to go when she was in the hotel, by herself, because she knew that no one would be there to stop her from going. This is painful to write, but I submit these comments with all due respect for you and your Mother's memory and I hope it will not cause you too much grief to read them.

Thank you, and I wish you peace.

[Quakerfriend]

7. LOL, "looks younger than you".

She must really want you to know that she is OK!

I'm very glad that you are a medium and can experience and know her presence. That's very nice.

[I Have A Dream]

5. I'm not able to help in the way that you need. I so wish that I could.

However, I wanted to tell you that my heart ached for you as I was reading this. I hope that someone here is able to give you the assistance that you need.

I'm so glad that you still have the connection with your mother even after her passing on. It seems to me that the worst part of the terrible situation for you was the unnecessary suffering that your mother had to endure. I'm so sorry that things went as they did.

:hug:

[Ecumenist]

8. Thamk you, ver much Dream....

I appreciate everything you contribute and your kind and conforting words.:pals: I'm glad to be in such a lovely forum where one has such an abundance of support and kind, comforting words.

[rumpel]

9. I am shocked.

The employees are very suspect and need to be deposed. All of them. It is going to be costly you are going to fight against a company that does have a lot of resources, but the truth has to come out.
If there was a robbery attempt, I can presume that that would trigger a stroke. If she walked into someone going trough her luggage that could also trigger that. You say a serrated knife...but you do not mention if she was hurt. Even when you touched it, did the police analyze the substance?
The Hotel would not want either a robbery by a stranger or employee or death by negligence to be on the news. Something happened and they must know.
I am so sorry.
Your mom communicated to you in your dream, I think you can trust your own feeling. She will come through when you least expect it.

[Ecumenist]

15. The serrated knife belonged to my mom....

I recognised it right away and it was odd that it had that substance that for all the world looked like dried blood. I was told by my People that the corporation is NOT GOING TO WANT TO TAKE THIS TO COURT. It doesn't help their case that the manager out and out lied to the police and failed to get her help when it was right across the street in spite of the fact that they'd told us that they called. Never did.... The police report and the cassette from the answering service are in clear contradiction to one another. I'll tell you one thing, it doesn't bode well for any trial as OAKLAND is a VERY liberal city, in a VERY liberal county with an EXTREMELY LIBERAL mayor, (Jerry Brown) in liberal state. It's a black city as well. Oh, yes,this corporation has a lot of resources but they know that if anything, the fact that one of their partners let my mother die by depraved neglect and she was a BLACK, CHRISTIAN GRANDMOTHER @ A KNITTING CONVENTION, for crying out loud, will not play well in a black city. Everyone that's heard about what happened, be they black, white, yellow red, green, polka dot or polyester has been just as outraged. So, even should they take a chance and try to get any trial relocated to another city, it won't help. Another thing, I phoned the mayor's office about 2 weeks after this happened and spoke to one of the mayor assistants. In the course of the conversation, he actually said, "This is strange. We had another case exactly like this 2 years ago", (which would have placed it in 2002). He didn't say that it was howard johnson but he did mention this fact. My interests was piqued to say the least.

[cassiepriam]

10. My read

I am so sorry for your pain.

First I am very curious about the knife in the bag. What do you think that was about?

Secondly my best friend is a lot like you. A claireverything since birth. But when it comes to her own stuff she can be clueless. There is for a reason for this, we are meant to learn our lessons and if your guides give you the answers you won't struggle like we are meant to. Your gifts were given to help others, not to give you a free ride. You are meant to help others but you still have your own karma to work on.

I want you to read the what the other people have posted here.
They are right.

This is what I am getting. I am mostly mediumistic and intuitive. But still learning how to put it all together. I am sorry if it is painful but here it is.

I will also look at your natal chart and see if you and your mom were together in your last life.

Your mother's brain had been compromised very significantly by the other strokes and there are some that occurred that you did not know about it. The damage was worse than you wanted to face. You were able to repair her brain a bit with your sheer will and love, but nonetheless it was quite damaged. And the next stroke, even a small one, could be quite serious. Even if your Mom had gotten immediate help she may have lived but not in a way she would want to. On some level she knew that but you could not face it.

The part I keep getting is that it was time for her to go, but she had to do it away from you. You love her so much that she would not be able to leave with you nearby. You are very powerful and connected to her and she knew that she could not leave the planet with you nearby. The train trip symbolizes her journey away from you and Earth. And God love her, she died with her boots on. Going to a conference, doing things she loved. That has some symbolic meaning too. She did not want to be in a nursing home. She did not want to be impaired. This last stroke would have meant that you know. And that would have been intolerable for your mother. She died living life to the fullest.

She loves you very much and wants you to get past your anger at the hotel and connect to her now, she is trying to talk to you but you are still in a of grief and anger and it makes it hard to connect with you. She is where she is supposed to be.
She will see you again and you are to be OK with all of this.
She also thinks that you have been sad and angry too long and it is time to let go and move on.

There is also something about your tremendous will and power that you are supposed to work on. You have to accept that you sit in time and space like everyone else and that you cannot control the planet. You are so blessed and gifted but there are things that even you cannot do. And you could not stop your mom from passing on. She was on borrowed time and every day after the last series of strokes was a gift.

That is all I am getting for now. Sometimes things will come to me later. The spirits hang by the side of my head on the right side. And they can stay for awhile and talk to me.

Also you know that you have very significant karma with your mother. You gave me your chart info and you have moon, uranus, pluto in the 12h the house of karma. The moon represents your mother and mother issues.

You have extensive complicated karma with your mother and very strong personal connection with her, and this has been played out in many lifetimes.

Hope this helps.

[cassiepriam]

11. PS

I am picking up a whole lot more. I have no idea if it is true or fits but here it is. And I am very sorry if it is painful.

Your mother loves you very much and you have had many past lives together, but she is irritated with you right now. She wants you to go to your higher self instead of your lower self right now. She wants you to think about her and what was best for her.

She had to die away from you and your brother. As clueless as your brother is, when she had the latest stroke he would have gotten medical help if she had been with him. She might have lived, but would have been left badly impaired, which was totally unacceptable to your mother. I am picking up a lot of pride, dignity, and independence from your mother. And she was not going to be strapped to a wheelchair for any length of time. She also did not want to burden her children in any way.

She literally had to hide away to die so that she could just go the way she wanted to. The locked doors and drawn curtains are very symbolic. And the fact that those words were repeated over and over to you is supposed to be some sort of message to you.

You two have a big karmic connection and you are in a bit of a tug of war right now. Around power, control, stubbornness issues. She wants you to release your pain, your anger and guilt. She has some other things she would like to do on the other side but she keeps staying with you a bit because she is worried about you. She would like you to evolve she all can move on.

[Ecumenist]

14. Thank you Cassie

I was told by the investigator that because I touched the knife, it would be of no use,which I found weird at the time but I had planned for this by having the mortuary clipped my mother's nails on both nails and I have them. The lawyer was delighted to hear that I have them and may take them to order a forensic examination on them. The knife was in a deep pocket but I didn't see it before I touched it.

[cassiepriam]

17. May I ask for feedback?

I am always wondering if what I get fits or is true,
I have no way of knowing. Did anything I say make any sense or fit for you?

I have more that came in from your mother if you want it.
You two have quite a thing going on karmically.

[Ecumenist]

18. Cassie, you confirmed what I knew about the state of her brain...

In fact, I'd told her that she was in danger from a new major stroke, ( I would ALWAYS KNOW) and I told her that if she had one this time, she would not come out of it as well as she had before. I told her that she would be locked in her body with a cognitive mind that was perfectly fine but unable to reach the outside world. She told me that if that happened, she would ask God to take her.
The problem has never really been the fact that she died but that she was allowed to lay there suffering for 34 hours while we were looking for her and her brain, according to the autopsy, slowly died but would have been VERY painful as she was undergoing the majority of it until the last couple of hours. We didn't even have a chance to kiss her or say goodbye. Mom always told me that I was an old soul and I came here to take care of her. I seemed to always know when she was in trouble, so that insight you spoke about regarding the strong interconnection with her is VERY true.
When I finally moved in with my husband, she was so angry with me and actually told people that I had abandoned her and that my husband had kidnapped me!! LOL!! I can laugh about it now but at the time, it wasn't too funny. She felt that I hadn't done enough for her although I had given, Literally, body parts in surgeries because of stress and had given up my childhood, teen years and young adulthood. Her brain injury prevented her from seeing that it was not my responsibility to take care of everything especially since I had three healthy brothers. But, thankfully, we worked things through in the last few weeks, although I wasn't really angry at her so much as her brain injury. She had refused to stop smoking after the first stroke and as a matter of fact, actually said stated that it hadn't hurt. The second one I told her was coming and I begged her to please take care of herself because if she got sick again, it would again fall on me. She told me she could do whatshe wanted to do and that it wouldn't be a burden to me. She did, got sick and it fell on me. It happened two months before my wedding. The karmic side of things is correct. She'd felt that she had known me many times before and this was simply the latest go-round. Strangely enough, I was and continue to be ambivalent about the whole idea of reincarnation of adults.
I suppose, Cassie, that I want to do something so no other family has to ever undergo anything like this ever again. I understand death, Lord knows I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt AND brochure but the way that these people lied and didn't even allow us to give my mother painkilling medication and any other comfort is unforgivable. Unfortunately, the only thing that these corporations understand is getting hit in the pocketbook. I've asked her to let me know that I'm doing the right thing and I've gotten sign after sign that she feels that I'm headed in the right direction. Thank you again and I would gladly trade with you if you come up with anything else.:hi:

[cassiepriam]

19. No need for a trade, but thank you for the offer

So there is a question of foul play with the knife?

Who told you that your mother's death was very painful?
Is that consistent with her other CVA's ?

I think the lawsuit is a very personal decision. Your point that you want to prevent other families from going thu what you did is well taken. But it is a very expensive and draining process and only you know if you will be able to go through with it. And whether it will help or impede your grieving process.

And then you have all the karmic issues that have been kicked up by all of this. I can see why you are in turmoil, and why all of this hitting you on the anniversary.

[Ecumenist]

20. Yes, I know that the anniversary of her crossing....

Is coming against me now BUT the lawsuit isn't expensive. They're treated in the same way as a personal injury lawsuit, ie, taken on contingency and my lawyers have already told me the we've already spent as much money as we're going to have to. The law corporation handling the case doesn't take most cases of personal injury or even death cases. Only the most egregious and they investigated it for a year before filing the complaint. We paid for a private autopsy ahead of time and walked into the lawyer's office with the results and conclusions. This law corporation prosecuted the Bhopal and Exxon Valdez and WON!!
Yes, the pain the she would have suffered were consistent with her CVAs, especially the last one she had.....a raging headache, nausea, etc. I'm not so much in turmoil as I wanted to get information as to what happened to her in that room and why these people felt the need to lie and lead us and the police in the completely different directions from the place she was. Who robbed her and had these same people done the same or similar thing to someone else earlier or since. I have anger that someone would treat her with not even an iota of modicum of respect a decent person would give a sick cat. that's my primary concern and issue.

[cassiepriam]

21. Yes I hear you. Something was very very wrong at that hotel.

[peacetalksforall]

12. Be sure to follow through on the practical level.

In addition to the lawsuit -

Write AARP and provide the facts. Write AAA and provide the facts. Write the Hotel and Motel Association. Write the State Licensing Board. They are all in the end going to say that it was only one hotel that 'mishandled' the situation, but they may be able to do something that they can't verbalize to you or promise you. You can ask them for advice such as other entities you can contact who might be able to change something so that it won't happen to another. Ask them for the facts. The Hotel and Motel Association should be able to tell you what the policy is that HJ should have followed or the written code that should have been followed. Push for all the facts you can get - if for no other reason than to aide the lawyer?

That brings you back to the lawsuit. It was performance (lack of performance and obstruction?) which seems like it could qualify on grounds of negligence and deliberate evasion in opposition to direct requests to help and tell the truth.

Something is bothering me. Why would your calls to her room be routed back to the front desk? It seems it would mean they showed her as checked out and calls were automatically routed back to the swichboard to prevent anyone getting in to the room and running up a telephone bill? That means your mother may not have been able to call out? That means they did not have cleaning service in the evening or the next day? That means they could not rent the room the next day? And they did not have a key? Or they had a key and wouldn't/couldn't use it?

[Ecumenist]

13. I have retained a lawyer who is in the process of filing a lawsuit.....

The calls were routed through the front desk and then rang through to her roomwhen I asked for room number and it when it rang in the room, the b^&%h that I was talking to the entire time answered the phone. She picked up the phone and I asked her if she was in the room and she said no, (yeah right) and when I asked for my mom, she launched in to the spiel about how the door was closed and locked from the inside, windows closed and curtains drawn. When the police questioned the cleaning staff as to why they'd not cleaned the room, both of these women, one was chinese the other was latina and neither spoke english at all, came up with the same lame excuse of how the door was locked and wouldn't answer the door. The answers that they provided were identical. The police didn't believe them at all. You would think that if there was a problem in the room of the sort that was happening, the calls would ahve been held at the front desk.
Instead, when I asked for her room number after that broad mentioned the room number, the front desk rang the room and she answered the phone. She was DEFINITELY NOT at the front desk. There's absolutely no way that they couldn't know she was in that room because the room was visible from the front desk and from their own words, they contradicted themselves and tripped over themselves, in BLACK AND WHITE AND ON TAPE!! So, they'll have a problem trying to explan their way out of this. We found out that that particular howard johnson express is no longer in business. When I expressed my obvious and understandable distress at this matter, the paralegal for the lawyer told me not to worry because they planned to go after the mother corporation.

[yellowdawgdem]

16. I'm sorry

for what you went thru with your Mother passing in such an abrupt and difficult way.
Sometimes events can have several layers of meaning.
On one level, there was neglect or worse from Howard Johnson's, and your being willing to pursue this legally might do some real good.
On another level, I got a sense of how out of control you felt in the situation, and that maybe you even blame yourself. It seems like your dream was an awareness of the death at some level. Although I wish I understood it better- still, it seems that you were dealing with this whole situation in your dream. Parts of your home were being sold off in small blocks that were in other people's hands. And you had your back to the bay and were smelling creosote.
Then there is the level of things that CassiePriam and others mentioned, which i fully agree with. That probably your mother had wanted, and perhaps planned (unconsciously) to go without her family being around. That is actually not an uncommon thing. Although being alone and possibly stressed from whatever happened does not seem easy, and I know you feel in your heart any pain she had to endure at that time.
Still, I agree with those who mentioned the other strokes, and think that the silver lining in all this is that she is, no doubt, much happier now. And, she does appear to you frequently, so that you still have a strong connection.

For some reason I keep thinking about a Spike Lee movie called "4 Little Girls". Maybe you've seen it, it's about 1 of the Birmingham bombings during the '60's in which a church got bombed, and all 4 of the casualties were girls who were highly respected and loved in their community. And the film showed how hard it was for their parents to lose them, and the anger they felt, the rage. Yet this event was a really pivotal point and a break through in many ways.
I hope you will come to some resolution soon, and some acceptance of what has happened. Namaste.

[Ecumenist]

22. I have thought many times about how this could affect the hospitality....

industry, in much the same way that the Birmingham bombings coloured and went on to change the way that America viewed civil rights. I have no doubt that she is VERY happy now. I had a dream the night before last where I was in a kitchen with many if not all the relatives who have crossed. My mother was to my right and was sneaking a taste of the cut up veggies. She was smiling and doing her best to not be noticed, (Mom was renowned for sneaking a taste or two). My Great Aunt Mabel who died in the early nineties, at around 94 years old, was standing in front of my stirring a pot of greens. She'd never had children of her own and when I was born, she more or less adopted me. She asked me a question I don't remember but I do remember her saying, "Mel, I need your help.", I answered, "Yes Ma'am." She asked me to help her take the pot off of the stove because as she went on to say, " I have another pot of greens ready to cook and all kinds of good things for you and your man." There was a gaggle of relatives and I got the impression that Mom had brought me into tht kitchen to show me off, somehow. She was holding my right hand and kissed me when it was time for me to be returned to this world. I floated up out of that world and back to this one. Mom seemed so happy to see me and was just tickled to have me there with her and family members who were long gone by the time I came along. They were all giggling because they know that I'm not crazy about soul food and I distinctly remember the revolting aroma of chitlins but I would have pretended to eat them if I'd had to. They thought it was so funny. I think, that by prosecuting her case civilly, I'm doing the right thing in her mind and I seemed to get the approval of all the family there. :D
Thank you so much for you insight and opinions...:pals:

[yellowdawgdem]

23. Yeah,

it does look like you are receiving confirmation from your family that it will be helpful to prosecute HJ's. I hope it will not dredge up too many complex or painful memories for you, but it still seems like a strong and assertive action. It's also good that you are getting a really experienced legal team, and that they think you have a good case.
Thankyou for sharing your latest dream, I super enjoyed hearing about it. It sounds like your mother is still very much with you, holding your hand, showing you off, etc. And you got to talk to your great Aunt too, and she wants your help with something. To take something off the pot so that she can start cooking something fresh. Is there some suggestion of children? Or maybe she is reminding you that your marriage is strong, and will continue to flourish. And that she wants to help nurture it in some way, by putting on that new pot of greens. I thought it was very funny that they know you don't really like soul food, but will eat it in a pinch. I'm glad that you have such a fluid connection with your family on the other side, and know it will help you in all things.