i can't believe this happened to me again

[silverchair]

hi everyone,

last time i posted it was about breaking up with my ex. i was with her for six years. well after about 9 months, i met a new person. we hit it off well and dated for about 3 weeks. friday she called me and told me that things were moving too fast for her. she decided to not continue the relationship. it's a long story but she got a divorce 2 years ago after she found out that her ex was cheating on her. it seemed like she was ready to move on. she even went to therapy. i am just totally devastated. we had so much in common and enjoyed each other's company. we were going to do so much together. now, i am really miserable and depressed. i can't seem to win in relationships. i just hung out with a friend today and let it all out but these feelings for her will continue to linger. i'm actually considering therapy in 2007. i finally got some medical insurance and will sign up soon. i can't take another blow like this. i'm hoping that she may just be confused and will give me another chance. we can try and take it more slowly. anyways, i just had to vent. i need to have some sign of hope. 2006 has been a really bad year for me.

[Why Syzygy]

1. wish I could make you feel better ..

but probably can't. The bummer thing about relationships is that we often think we know what would be "best" for the other person. But they are totally not into it.

So our dream of what they COULD BE dies. A brutal death. It just sux that way.
I think there are others out there that have a similiar clue to ours. But we really want the ones who don't know what is in their best interest. Don't we.

When I read about all these happy folks who have found their love mate, I just stand in astonishment. Personally I think I have too many quirks. No one would ever want to deal with this mess.

[silverchair]

2. i know the feeling

i just feel like anyone i meet eventually gets turned off. i'm a really good person and i devote a lot of time and energy into the relationship. i hope she calls back and changes her mind. it's probably not likely but at least i can hope. we had so much in common and really connected.

[Why Syzygy]

3. I'm sure you have

a lot in common with many others and can get that connection. It happens that way for me, but there is just no connection like the one I invested in. And lost.

I hope she does feel the same. :hug: You're in the right place.

[silverchair]

4. thank you

i appreciate your sympathy. it's just tough on me at the moment because we've only known each other for 3 weeks and then everything fell apart so quickly. i didn't expect this to happen. now i feel so isolated and hopeless. i'm going to try and hang out with some friends but it's just not the same. i need female companionship.

[I Have A Dream]

5. I'm sorry that this happened to you, silverchair. It's so difficult to continue...

to open your heart when it just keeps getting hurt each time that you do. Please ask the Universe to help you to find a person who is right for you and wants a permanent relationship with you right now. I'll do the same for you with the caveat that it is also for the highest good of all involved.

:hug:

[silverchair]

7. i will

ask the universe for some assistance. thank you for your kind words.

[wickfordbard]

6. Relationships that move too fast are a problem.

Perhaps the clue is to take things slowly. When everything seems so rosy so quickly, you can bet there's alot of projection going on. I think that once we are on the path of consciousness, we must learn how to be in relationship in an entirely different way. The fact that you are so depressed after knowing her for only 3 weeks might indicate that you were putting too much of your 'soul' onto her - a heavy burden indeed. I believe our task this lifetime is to become whole and meet another wholeness, not with need but with desire and wanting. That means we don't need this other person to make our life happy, but we can certainly want them to be in our lives. Why don't you call her and tell her you'd like to be friends - and try to pull back on your need and see where things go. Just tell her she's someone who you'd like in your life, but don't make plans for forever so quickly. Slow and easy, a courtship if you will, is the best way. My generation blew it in the 60's, we'd jump into bed after an hour of knowing someone. To form a truly lasting relationship, you have to enjoy and explore the mystery of the other person.

[silverchair]

8. good advice

what you said made so much sense. i got so emotional on the night of our breakup. i had talked to her for about 30 minutes and she had asked me if i wanted to be friends and i said no. then i hung up on her. i feel bad now. i guess it wouldn't hurt to call her back and take the offer.

[Cleita]

9. I am sorry this has hurt you so much, but if someone you

love in a relationship doesn't feel the same, you can't force them and you do have to move on. The future may bring that person back to you in ways you couldn't imagine, but right now you must let her go or she may never be part of your life again.

[u4ic]

10. I'm sorry, silverchair

Your lessons sound like ones I'm learning, too - to take things slower, and to not get my hopes up too much at the start (with Venus in Leo in the 5th square Neptune in the 7th...it's a challenge). ;)

Keep on talking, venting, letting it out...grieving. Perhaps writing the letter you'll never send...about what you felt, what you had hoped for, how disappointed you are...may help. Write it, read it, burn it - a symbolic letting go.

I doesn't feel like it now, but you will get over this. :hug:

[crikkett]

11. you poor thing

everything will be okay. the holidays are tumultuous for a lot of people and it sounds like this could be the first "untethered" holiday season for you both.
:hug: