You have a small medium at large.

[davsand]

The question was what do you call an escapee midget psychic?


Does anyone else feel a pressing need for some silliness? Too much pain, too much anger, not enough laughter! Can we share some jokes that kinda fit with our forum???



Laura

[Fire Walk With Me]

1. It's a classic and always welcome :)

I hear that the music act the B52's have a new record coming out shortly. I can't wait for some of that good old-fashioned silliness :)

[davsand]

2. They are always fun.

I always wanted to see them in a bar some time. You just know they would be a hoot! There are just some bands that are suited to a club and I think those guys would be.

Webb Wilder is in that same category for me, and I never saw anybody in a bar that I enjoyed more. I still live by his credo: "Work hard, rock hard, sleep hard, eat hard, grow big, wear glasses if you need 'em."



Laura

[stellanoir]

3. These are sorta old but they are truly classic

http://www.weather.net/zarg/ZarPages/stevenWright.html

[davsand]

4. Some of those made me LOL!

"All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand."

"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met"

"I intend to live forever - so far, so good."

"Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?"



The thing is--I can just hear his voice in my head as I read these. What a truly funny man!


Laura

[bigmonkey]

5. What did the Buddhist say to the hot-dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

[davsand]

6. Let me meditate one that one: Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

:rofl:

[lildreamer316]

7. What did the fish say when it hit the wall?

Damn.


Sorry. It's stupid beyond belief, but it always makes me smile.

[davsand]

10. It made me laugh. Thank you!

Sometimes don't ya find that you just need to be a little silly? It has been so intense of late I really needed to just relax and remember what it is to laugh out loud.

You helped me (and probably others as well!) with your joke!


Laura

[Celebration]

8. Always remember you are unique

Just like everyone else.

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
If life gives you tomatoes, make bloody marys.

If you are not part of the solution,
You are part of the precipitate.

When everything is coming your way, you are in the wrong lane, going the wrong direction.

I finally got it all together, but I forgot where I put it.

Not enough THYME!!

[davsand]

11. If you get lemons "unique" up on 'em THEN you can make lemonade.

Gotta SCARE it outta them, you see!

:toast:

Thank you!



Laura

[rosesaylavee]

9. Here's a little "sunshine" to hopefully brighten your day...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=385x90485

:bounce:

[davsand]

12. I had to call kevsand over to see that one.

Oh my! Gotta send that one out to a few people. We use florescent bulbs in this household but I'm not quite THAT energy efficient...


:wow:


Loved it!


Laura

[rosesaylavee]

13. Leave it to the Brits to get it right ... um, in the end.

I've watched it a few times and it makes me chuckle every time.

[KitchenWitch]

14. How do you catch a unique animal? Unique up on it... How do you catch a tame animal?

Tame way, unique up on it.

[Callie McAllie]

15. How many psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.

[stellanoir]

16. Light Bulb Astrology

How many members of a sign does it take to change a light bulb?

Aries-Just one. You want to make something of it?

Taurus-One, but just *try* to convince them that the burned out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

Gemini-Two, but the job never gets done. They just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done.

Cancer-Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grieving process.

Leo-Leo's don't change light bulbs, although some time their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job while they're out.

Virgo-Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.

Libra-Er, two. Or maybe one. No-on second thought, make that two. Is that okay with you?

Scorpio-That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical
Order.

Sagittarius-The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid
burned out light bulb ?

Capricorn-I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

Aquarius-Well you have to remember that everything is energy, so. . .

Pisces-Light bulb? What light bulb?

[Shallah Kali]

17. Not metaphysical just laugh until you cry funny if you love the Muppets

Rudolph Nureyev dances to Swine Lake
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKDprORFQPs

Mahna Mahna
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YevYBsShxNs

Beaker Sings 'Feelings'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjhp_0IrR1Q

Danny Boy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCbuRA_D3KU