I think I have been cursed ...

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

seriously ... I think someone somewhere put a curse on me because things have not been going right for me. It all started back in October 2007. Ever since then I have been going "down". Emotionally,financially,mentally and spiritually - I could feel the pain start in my chest, down to my stomach, into my legs and and now I can feel it in my feet. I am about to collapse. I feel like crying.I need to be carried because right now I am at my wits end. I am not suicidal - I am just tired with worry.

[Dover]

1. (((Hugs))) CarolinaPeridot

Taking a long break from DU sounds like a wonderful first step in caring for yourself, especially as regards "worry" issues.
And breathing...breathwork....another instinctively positive thing.
Eckhart Tolle's discussion of the "pain body" and "worry" (try his new book, A New Earth) might resonate right now too. Your body certainly seems to be trying to get your attention regarding the need for some changes. Glad that you are listening. Listening, reconnecting, centering....self love.

Holding you in love and light CP.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

2. No sometimes we live between a world where the material becomes important when we don't want it to .

and my problems deal with money. I am broke and I really don't think a book is going to help me now. I feel like I work for nothing. I am tired of going through this. All of my friends are never around when I need their help. I was put on this earth to care for others and they suck it up but right now I need some care and a shoulder to cry on and I don't ever have it. And it sucks. I think I am going to sleep this week away.

[Dover]

3. Do you see the financial, social and physical problems as causes or symptoms?

Needless to say that some sleep, a good cry and some serious cursing at the world can be therapeutic too! And while they don't initially 'solve' the immediate external problems either, they contribute to our emotional, mental and spiritual health and can bring the necessary balance (as all internal work does) to better meet the challenges. As within so without. Anything you can do to reduce stress and get some centering, whether it seems productive or not, IS important.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

7. I am sorry if my response earlier was negative but I was hurting.

After some sleep I feel better. Yeah I see the financial and social problems as part of my symptoms. And everything happens for a reason. The pain is telling me I need to change.

[I Have A Dream]

9. CP, do you believe in astrology? If so, have you ever had an astrological..

reading done?

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

14. I have always believed in Astrology.

Growing up I can remember always calling ever free astrology hotline that I could find in the phonebook.

[Dover]

18. CP, So glad you got some needed sleep and are feeling a bit revived.

Unfortunately, but all too often, we have to hit a wall in some area of our lives (or several) to force us to make necessary changes. Watch your messages to yourself about not having good friends, being a victim, only being here to serve others, etc. (which can become a martyr/victim/savior trap). All of that is, like your physical symptoms, letting you know that some adjustments need to be made within, that will then improve all of the external things.
You have everything you need within to live the life you want to live. Life is abundant if we are good receivers for and reflections of that abundance. Perhaps you might reconsider the definition of 'service'. I feel that true service has a lot to do with becoming a good medium for Divine light to work through us. That must start with self love and nourishment. I was a little amused by your comment line on your personal profile. Hope you will remember it and really take it to heart:

Bill Gates might be the richest man in the world but I am the happiest :)

Hugs and love,
Dover

[Sweet Freedom]

6. "I was put on this earth to care for others"

Can you sometimes say "no" to them? I don't mean refuse them care, but are you being taken advantage of or have you maybe taken on too much?

I ask, because this happened to my aunt. It was she who took care of all family members who were ill or elderly. She took care of, not only the people, but all of their baggage and she wouldn't let anyone else help her. She felt she needed to be in control of everything so that she always knew what was going on. So she took care of their medical needs, sold their homes, dealt with their insurance problems, etc. At the same time, she did not change her own lifestyle. She kept up with all of her work and classes and hobbies, etc. She very quickly became overwhelmed and so stressed that she developed a serious chronic illness that she still has years later.

This may not be your situation at all, but if it is, then you have to put yourself first because you can't help others if you are suffering.

Do get some sleep and rejunevate yourself. Once you are refreshed, maybe things will look different, or your mind will be clear and a plan of action will come to you.

Let us know if we can help. :hug:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

8. Maybe its time for me to not care in a way.

I am always the one who wants to know everything and sometimes information can overwhelm me. So I plan on stepping back into my own world for a while. Thanks for the advice.

[Shallah Kali]

19. 'I, (insert name here, release all responsabities that are not truely my own'

"I, (insert name here), release all vows and agreements that do not serve my highest good"

We are put here on earth to *help* one another not be endless caretakers of one another. No one can save another person, the best one can do is assist. It sounds ot me like your generous urge to help others has drained you dry. As hard as it might be all helping of others must start with taking proper care of yourself. Treat yourself as you have been treating others for a change. Give yourself the same loving kindness and please give yourself time to heal.

I believe that most people are empathic some just more subtly so than others. Empathy makes one more vulnerable to absorbing the issues of others physical as well as mental - especially when the person is tired, sick, or injured. Just in case you may find it useful to practice grounding and shielding especially when around people you know you feel more tired after seeing or even chatting on the phone with. It is an easy thing to try that won't do anything worse than waste a few minutes every day. I have a friend who I used to feel utterly drained after chatting with. She would feel revived and no longer have a headache while I felt like a spike was driven into the middle of my forehead. Then I learned about how to clear my energy using insense or smudge or just visulization and starting shielding. I also did a regression where i remembered being this friends sister and trying, and failing, to save her from herself. I forgave myself for not saving her in that life. Between these things the friend went from calling several times a week to maybe two times a month. I don't know if something similar is happening to you or not but I figure it is best to check and try simple things in case these are part of your problems, if only to exacerbate the heck out of them.

I don't know if you really are cursed or not but if it is OK I will send you Reiki and ask for anything harmful to be removed, transmuted and healed in every aspect including to the source of the issue(s).

[truedelphi]

20. What would you consider to be "success"

I find in my own life I get overwhelmed, and that visualizing what I would have if I won the cosmic lottery helps me see what I need to bring into my life.

With you, it sounds like you need friends who are as supportive as you are, people who appreciate your giving nature, and an easier way to make abundance, paycheck wise.

[Delphinus]

4. Many

{{{{hugs}}}} CarolinaPeridot.

I regret that you are feeling sooooo alone right now - and to feel deserted by those you have always stood by in their time of need - is only adding to your despair. :hug:

How can we help? What can we do? If you're open, I will gladly send you Reiki; in the meantime, I ask that all the unseen friends (angels, etc.) whom you feel comfortable with come and surround you with love and healing energy.

[stellanoir]

5. I don't think you are at all cursed.

There is a tremendous amount of fear in the collective right now and really sensitive people often pick up on it and need to release it.

Here is one really effective technique of clearing it.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=245x64017#64055

Affirmations really are the antidote for worry even though they can make one feel like an embodiment of some sappy Hallmark card.

"I'm releasing all negativity." "I'm worthy of love." "I'm worthy of happiness."

I've a feeling this channelling might help as well.

http://www.kryon.com/k_channel08_Newenergy.html

This prayer of gratitude really helped me turn things around a few years ago when I was really down.

http://www.ptaah.com/page/page/4736851.htm

And yes I felt really dumb offering up thanks for stuff I didn't think I had but over the course of saying that every morning for seven days I did realize that I had a lot more than I had thought i had the week before.

Hope some of this information lifts your spirits. Be gentle on yourself please.

:grouphug:

[Metta]

10. Whatever you need to do to take care of yourself.

Hello, CP. Your worrying continues the pain via a mental tape loop. Like anything else, it's important to assess the basics. Have you been checked out by your doctor to make sure that you're not suffering the affects of an illness? Are you eating a balanced diet? Getting enough sleep? Job and home secure? You say your relationships are undependable. Regrets that the people you call your friends aren't strong enough to deal with what you're going through. That's a sign to surrender it up to your favorite saints or deities to deal with; that'll help a lot. You can't do that too often.


As far as the rest goes, I can feel some kind of armoring in the areas you mentioned though I can't tell how much of it is because you worry and aren't releasing enough.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

15. I think the only thing that might be wrong with me are anxiety problems ...

sometimes everything around me goes so fast. I am doing better tonight. I have'nt been tapping into my spiritual side the way I used to in the past and I have'nt been getting any sleep. That could have a lot to do with why I feel weak. I have followed everything that everyone has said here and meditation and just relaxing is key.

I am so glad that this forum is here. It always helps me out.I will be fine. Everything that I can't change right away, I won't worry about. I am fine :) Thank you.

[rumpel]

11. Several things...

First, despair and fear over money.
Some thoughts that helped me. Money is something society created and is an illusion. Even though the current system places great emphasis on "money" to "judge" people it is not the Truth of the Universe, or the Truth about you.
I unfortunately do not remember where it was, but a guided meditation gave me some insight. It goes something like this:
Close your eyes and start by seeing yourself. Take away the way you look, take away your gender, take away your name...until what is left is light energy - the true you.

As you see the financial system society has created is crumbling, and maybe exactly because it's purpose went haywire...injustice, inequality, abuse, and unqualified powers. Know that this will change, if you can be creative and can contribute towards change, do - even in form of thought energy.
Thanks to this forum, I totally trust that I am ok. I may not be where I want to be, I may not be able to do things as I want to do yet, I know I will.
I don't obsess about tomorrow and I don't fret over yesterday, I ponder - but know "what is, Is". just work with it, as it comes.

The Dalai Lama said: When you can do something about it, there is no need to worry, and if you can not do anything about it, you do not need to worry about it either.

What I have also learned is that you have to take care of yourself first before you can help others.
While it is true that "negative energies" of others affect you, (curse/anger directed at you) the worst kind is your own. Envision yourself in a protective shield, and nurture your own light energy.

Here is a free guided meditation, which may give you some strength: "Silent Language of Peace"
http://www.aspaceoflove.com/free_downloads.html

Much strength and light to you.

:grouphug:

[Fire Walk With Me]

12. These are normal responses to living amidst negativity, and this is a negatively-based "culture".

Positive action and prayer create a buffer. I hope that things work out.

[The Straight Story]

13. If nothing else, a hug for you and a message

:hug: if ya ever need someone to call, PM me.

Been through a ton myself since 11/2004, and it seems to get worse everyday.

I hope that light at the end of the tunnel is not a train.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

16. Do you use a pendulum?

If so, you can ask for clarification about the situation.

[okasha]

17. Have you had a look at your transits and progressions?

What I'm hearing from you sounds like the manifestation of a hard Saturn aspect.

[cliss]

21. C Peridot, I'm going to make a bunch of suggestions -

See if any of these apply to you -

1. Physical - nutrition.
Make sure you get the best in nutrition, so you can stay healthy. Try to eat what I call mega-foods. Make sure to eat lots of fresh fruits & vegies there are lots of other things you can eat to maximize your resistance to being run down. Eliminate anything which will drain you physically, like drinking, smoking, junk food or anything like unnecessary mediations or pills. Try to eat as natural as possible. Now a lot of this is not expensive. For example, a lime is only around 30 cents you can make a mini-limeade. Parsley is another one which is loaded with vitamins. I make sure and eat a sprig each day. Also things like a cooked sweet potato is so good for you. I'm currently writing a book on how to survive and thrive on next to nothing (a sure sign of the times we're living in). Try to get 8 hours of sleep each night. Be a little bit selfish. If you have people who are draining you or asking too much, ask them to please give you a little bit of room so you can take care of yourself. When you do, you are more useful to them.

2. Taking care of the body - recharging oneself.
Going to the sauna every once in a while can be wonderful. Just sitting in a hot tub can do wonders and recharge our batteries for the long haul. I don't know if there is any facility where you can go in your area. Sometimes health clubs offer "free" visits an introductory visit, for very reasonable. Also, even just going to the store and getting a little packet of bath salt or bath oil - you can even make your own. Take a little bit of time out and re-charge yourself. Just fill up the bathtub, lock the door. Fill up the tub with some nice-smelling stuff. Take a wash cloth, and start rubbing off all the dead skin from our long winter. Just LAY there, r-e-l-a-x. It's truly amazing how LITTLE we ask, and we don't even get that. Also, you can go to the store, get a little packet of facial mud for about $1.00. Smear on your face. Pull your hair back. Let it sit for a while, rinse off. Get some nice hair pack, do the same thing. About $1.00. You can even put together stuff in the kitchen that costs next to nothing!! and it's wonderful for your body.
Splurging on ourselves does not have to cost very much in fact the best stuff is next to free.

3. Astrology.
Peridot, have you checked into getting an astrological reading for yourself? A few years ago, I was ready to jump off a cliff. I felt like I couldn't make it. I was a single mom with 3 kids and we were facing starvation I'm not kidding. I found an astrologer in India who I felt could help me. Of course at the time I was broke, so I couldn't get a reading. It took about 3 months of savings until I finally got one (it was not expensive, only around $25.00).
In the meantime, though, I started searching the Internet for FREE horoscopes. I found a bunch of them, and I truly feel they saved my LIFE while I was waiting. I'm not kidding.
Verdict: I found out that I was going through a 7.5 year period which is called Sade Sati seems that Old Mr. Saturn had me on his List. I had to do certain rituals on Saturdays, appeal to the old boy and ask him to be kind to me.
Vedic Astrology also has certain remedies, like mantras to chant, they even have a "Kavach" a medallion which is supposed to protect one from harm. My teenage son wears one around his neck, a beautiful silver medallion which a hindu blessed personally. I have no idea if it works, but my son feels protected and that in itself has a HUGE psychic value.

3. Curse.
This is one I don't know very much about. But you should look into it, since you yourself are feeling this way. Do you have any enemies? Anyone who might be wanting revenge? I would suggest the following: every night before you fall asleep, visualize yourself protected with a very powerful white light which surrounds you. Make sure to forgive any enemies, wish them well and hold no resentments of your own towards them.

[Hermes Daughter]

22. C Peridot

I doubt that you have a curse. If you were in Brazil or the South of France and crossed a gypsy, you might have a curse ;-) but I doubt that's the case. It sounds like a Saturn return (and its accompanying "overwork"), in which case all the advice here re Saturn is good. If you PM me your birth data (where, when, exact time, etc.) I will see what I can do. I'm not a professional astrologer but can see patterns and somethimes that can help. If it started around October, it was probably Saturn going into Virgo. If you'd like to post your data on the board, I'm sure others much better than I am can help you. Hang in... Spring is coming! All will be well...

Blessings,
H.D.