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I've been off-line most of the last week, and enjoyed reading through your post and all of the replies; there's some great stuff there!
I don't know much about astrology; it's on my list of things to get accomplished someday, to have my chart formally "done." I've seen it; I even have a copy of it somewhere. It was just never interpreted, and I don't know how to read it. I'm an Aries with a Gemini moon, if that means anything.
I had very much the same experiences in 2000 re: the selection. I couldn't believe that anyone would take this man seriously. And, if it weren't that I've made a conscious effort to transmute hate into something less destructive, I could say that he generated that kind of a response. In 4 years, I've never been able to listen to his voice or see his face for more than 30 seconds at a time without an intensely uncomfortable shiver of repulsion. Happily, I don't do tv news or much radio, so I've been able to hold that at bay.
Your post "connected" to some thoughts I was having while off-line this week; I apologize if they seem random or rambling. If there is a connection to be made, those with the patience to sort through it can find it in there somewhere!
It's all about how patterns play out on the small and large, individual, group, national, and global scales. And how what we do on an individual scale can mirror, or influence the global scale, and vice versa. Here's the pattern I've been experiencing:
On the group scale, I came to DU in January a couple of years ago, sick to death of listening to my right wing community sing the praises of the selected president. I lost one friend, and cut myself off from a group of others, in a friendly way, because I could no longer listen silently, and had no need to set myself up as a target by disputing them. I wanted people who understood where I was coming from, and I found them here.
I also found something else; while we could all agree on disgust with *, we didn't agree on what to do about it. We were never unified. There were the yellow dog dems, the moderates, the leftists, the progressives, independents, 3rd party members, etc.; all wanted to evict *, but not all agreed on how to do it. Some lobbied for fundamental change; some for fighting fire with fire. I remember several discussions with people who said we had to be "angry" because the energy of "anger" would carry us to victory in battle. I never agreed, but I was in the minority. We all had plenty to be angry about, but the energy of anger is destructive, not creative, and I didn't think it would serve us well in the long run.
Then we had the ABB crowd; an early movement that, sadly, is probably a factor in our loss. Because it was the only thing we really agreed on, and too many people went with Kerry on that premise, not because they thought he was the best choice or brought the best future to the table. Again, a campaign focused on anger and destruction instead of creating something new.
The primary wars raged until many DUers had so many people on "ignore" that we were like a bunch of little "cliques" who didn't open up to supporters of other primary candidates, because of the seemingly inevitable flame wars that followed. We weren't "united." Before the primaries were half over, there was a demanding drumbeat to "get united," and "get behind" the choice of the early primary voters. Some did. Some of us waited until the convention to "get behind" Kerry. And some never got behind him at all. Some of us who did "fall in line" did so less than enthusiastically, and were met with aggression from campaigners who wanted us to say we thought his platform and positions on issues were great, when we didn't. I, for one, sent a donation to the Kerry campaign and turned off all campaign discussions. The aggression, anger, fear, and battle mentality shut me out, by choice. I didn't want to participate, and I figured that all of those campaigners knew more than I did; I'd never belonged to a political party before, or campaigned for anyone before. My ideas and thoughts seemed to be a hindrance, so I took them elsewhere.
Guess what? The anger didn't get the job done. Now we hear more people suggesting that we need to be angrier, "meaner," and play "dirtier." Beat them at their own game. I disagree. If I become what I'm trying to change, I've lost even when I win. And this strategy has already failed.
This is a long story, isn't it? I have another private situation in my family; a big, knotty problem surrounding the mental, emotional, and physical health of a 4-year-old, and how to provide long term security for him. And a great deal of anger at the person responsible for compromising him. I spent the last week in conversation about what direction to go. And found roadblocks in front of every single idea. The bottom line? If we don't make peace with that *person*, there is no long-term solution. So we have to approach her. How? By confronting her, accusing, demanding, threatening? Or by offering forgiveness, compassion, and support? And taking the chance that she will throw them away, and our little boy will suffer anew? I've been feeling called to talk to her. And realizing that I will have to do so with empathy and support, for any good to come out of this situation. I was on my way home friday, stuck in traffic after having been on the road for 11 hours, and saw a bumper sticker in front of me. It quoted a scripture; something about a fool. It made me angry, because the implication of the people in the car just rolled out at me; I was a fool if I didn't worship the way they did. Interestingly enough, I didn't disagree with the underlying message; but telling me I was a fool if I didn't see it their way immediately shut my doors to them. And I thought, "That's the whole situation. We need change. In my family situation, in our nation, and on our planet. It doesn't matter how "right" we are, if we take our ideas to people in a way that derides them, makes fools or demons of them, etc., we shut all the doors to connection and change. If we want to find other paths where we can accomplish change together, we won't be shutting doors."
That applies to our individual personal interactions, our national and global political and spiritual interactions, everything we do. It's something that I wish the Democratic Party would reflect on, because I don't see us moving forward until we fundamentally change the way we do political business.
I wonder, this morning, if any of this makes sense; it must make sense to someone, because I felt called to toss it all down right here!
:hi:
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