This morning I was able to sleep in, for the first time in a long while, and I had a great dream...

[Callie McAllie]

For months I have been getting up way before the alarm goes off and cannot go back to sleep. This morning was different. I finally was able to sleep until the alarm. And the bed felt so cozy...

And I had this awesome dream. I was at a conference for work, with some guy I knew, just a co-worker, maybe a boss. We went to a hospitality suite, and I recognized a consultant I knew (not in real life). She was all blonde and tanned and looked great. I was so happy to see someone I knew there. I also knew she'd recently had a baby, and I asked her about him. Sure enough, she had brought the baby with her. She lifted him up and handed him to me, maybe 11 months old, all blond curly hair like a cherubim. So incredibly sweet. I took him in my arms, but he was much, much heavier than I expected. I fell back into a chair, still holding him, trying not to disturb him. He was laughing with that baby giggle they have. Then we all laughed. As I hugged him again, I looked out the window of the hospitality suite, through this panoramic window, onto this incredible view of the harbor.

I thought it must have been Denmark or Copenhagen we were in (FYI, I will never get a trip like that in my job, in real life). There was this lovely rocky harbor, a major city, blue sky, sunlight. And the rocks in the harbor...boulders...someone had carved them and painted them all to look like heads. Gigantic heads sticking up from the water. Bright primary colors and black. It was so very cool. I remember thinking what a great tourist attraction it was. And holding that big sweet baby in my arms...

This dream felt just wonderful, and yet sad. I cried in the shower as I got ready for work, for the first time in some years allowing myself to feel how much I genuinely regret not having more children. And every time I have thought about the dream since then, the tears well up as they have not done for a while.

I assume that the consultant is a symbol for me, and the baby a symbol for my only child, my son, who was a very big baby, heavier than expected (over 10 pounds at birth, thank you. Vaginally, thank you). And just last night, my now-almost-12-year-old son was talking to me, quite maturely, about how he'd like to grow up faster and be treated like an adult and be closer to "achieving his dreams." So it makes sense to me that I'd have a dream like this now. On that level.

But the sleeping in was part of it...without sleeping in I wouldn't have had the dream. I haven't been able to do that for so long.

And when I was thinking about the dream outside this afternoon, a genuine ladybug landed on my hand, and when I shooed her away she came back to me. Genuine ladybugs are relatively rare these days where I live.

Anything any of you have to say about this would be welcome. I can be all psychoanalytical on my own ass, but sometimes I think there's more to this than I know. Maybe it was just in the air, in the stars, whatever. Any thoughts?

[Stevepol]

1. Beautiful dream.

More people need to visit this space inside themselves. you must have done or be doing at least a few things right!

[rosesaylavee]

2. Just a guess here

but could it indicate you will soon be working on a great new project or starting something new and creative in your life in a more creative setting than you currently are in? The heaviness of the baby may mean something important and difficult but still something you love. Maybe you are taking it too literally?

What a great dream! I especially like the hand-carved boulders in the harbor! Very cool.

[Callie McAllie]

5. I love that interpretation

It works with my horoscope too...something big is coming my way, I just don't know what or how soon.

I hope that is true. At least I think I do.

Thanks!

[LWolf]

3. I don't really know.

I can think of several interpretations, but none of them jump out at me as "it."

The baby could be a new project that will be bigger, and more long-term, than you are expecting.

I also have been sleeping restlessly, falling asleep too early, waking in the middle of the night, and falling back to sleep exhausted just as the alarm goes off.

I also got to sleep in this morning. No alarm on Saturday morning; yesterday was my last day of work for the summer, before school starts in September. I stayed up late, slept through the night, and woke up naturally from a bad dream.

I said goodbye this week to my 8th graders, who've been with me for 3 years. It was both sad and joyful, except for one. A terminally ill student. We weren't sure if he would make it through to the end of the year. He's a fighter; while he was only at school one or two days a week for the last few months, he made it.

I dreamed that my principal was trying to tell me that, the day after we said goodbye, he'd died. She was crying too hard to get it out.

I woke up knowing that this is reality. If not today, then next week, or next month, or sometime next year. He's already outlasted his doctor's predictions, but is obviously failing. I'm expecting to get that call some time this summer.

[Callie McAllie]

4. I'm so sorry, that is really heartbreaking

What a brave chlid he must be! And what a wonderful teacher you must be.