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First was Tiger, he died of cancer at 6 yrs old, the first animal I ever had to put down...very hard but really spiritual event in & of itself
then Tigara, who was a stray that we took in, she dissapared and I never knew what heppened to her, coyotes no doubt.
two weeks later, I went to pick up a friend, and I was really pissy, endedup breaking down and telling her I was just upet because my baby was gone...she told me she "forgot" something and had me turn around and take her back home...i was more annoyed, but did it anyway...she came out of her apartment with this little baby fluffball...and she was with us for 8 years. "Sheba" survived a coyote attack at 8 months (she was my $1000 kitty!) and she moved with us several times, all over as my son and I strugged with so much. She was his touchstone, his only solace. she must have eaten a poisoned mousie, she dehydrated and died in my arms before I could even think of how to save her. First time I ever had to deal with death as a mom, had to drive her halfway around the lake to find a vet to cremate her ...that was a year ago april 30th...
my baby "shakti" is now our new fierceness (she was born right after sheba died and a friend kept her till we were ready for a new cat)...she is very much like sheba, and yet so much more of a lover than sheba ever was. Shakti played in the yard with Sheba's ghost, I even think I saw her at times...because I would think I saw shakti in the yard, but then she would be inside sleeping on my bed... so who was it? ;)
Sheba sleeps in a little box on my bookshelf, next to a music box with a picture if Tiger on it...my memorial of kittehs
--they are all tortise shell tabbies, and I never went looking for them, hey have always come to me familiars know how to find us...maybe this new kitteh is asking you if you are ready or a new little spirit to bring life & furry love into your life.
I read your heartbreaking story of Rustle, and I hope that if you do decide to become "owned" by this new one...that he/she will bring you some of the furry love you may be missing.
:hugs:
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