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2:03 in the A.M. - a painful reminder of the power of a Mars/Uranus transit.

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Dover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 04:07 PM
Original message
2:03 in the A.M. - a painful reminder of the power of a Mars/Uranus transit.



I used to feel 'difficult' transits so acutely when I was young. But as I've gotten older
the cosmic grip seems to have relaxed and softened considerably and even the most trying of transits are sometimes almost imperceptible in my life. I like to think this is due to the maturing process and conscious work done to lift the vibration of these planetary antagonists in my astrological chart, integrating them in a better balance.

And perhaps that is indeed the case.

That might explain why I did not heed the Mars opposition to Uranus transit that came so abruptly
and painfully into my life in the wee hours of the night.

I was awake doing some online research, and finishing some work. It was around 1 A.M. when I just
happened to check my transits (something I do infrequently these days). I noticed that a Mars
opposition to my natal Uranus was due to occur within another hour or so. In my experience the exact aspects of these two planets are the most likely to manifest in obvious and unmistakable ways, right down to the second, which is why both planets are often used by astrologers to rectify charts with uncertain birth times. So I thought to myself, 'how might these two energies manifest at this
time of night'? If it had been earlier in the day I can imagine perhaps a feisty exchange with someone, or a sudden disruption of some kind, an accident or car problems. These are all things
that have occurred before under the influence of these energies. But not at this time of night.

Perhaps my computer will fail me once more (I had just taken it in for repairs during the recent Mercury retrograde)? In retrospect, I'd have given anything if that was the extent
of their menacing influence. Still, the exact aspect was an hour away and I went back to my reading and forgot about it.

About an hour later I had completed my work for the night, shut down my computer and was turning
out the house lights when I remembered that my outdoor cat Benny had still not shown up for his dinner. So I stuck my head out the door and called his name into the night as I had done earlier, in the hopes he'd come for his long overdue dinner. No response. This tardiness wasn't entirely unusual, but I had a bad feeling. I began to close the door to lock up for the night, and glanced up at the kitchen clock. At the same moment that I realized it was...to the minute...the exact time of the Mars/Uranus opposition, I heard a very faint 'meow' in response just as the door closed. I threw the door back open, called again and got a barely audible reply. I moved in the direction of the sound, my eyes searching the dark and behind some boxes on the porch I found Benny.
He didn't move. I got the flashlight and returned to look closer. I reached down to pat him and still he didn't move from his crouched position.
So I slowly turned him over and felt wetness. To my horror I realized he had been almost completely disemboweled by an animal attack, and one hind leg was barely still attached.

So to make a very painful story short, I rushed him to the vet emergency clinic and after discussing
it with the vet through tears, I took some time to say my good-byes to my sweet sweet boy before putting him to sleep for eternity.

The trauma of the violence of that incident (a vicious attack probably by a dog) and the loss of one so dear to me left me shaken and trembling with horror and grief. This violence happens everyday in nature, but rarely are we witness or victim and so it's easy to forget that we are part of these natural events and cosmic cycles...until we are reminded....swept into its violence, gentleness, dark terror and immense beauty.

I miss you Benny.

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Why Syzygy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 04:13 PM
Response to Original message
1. I'm so sorry, Dover.
Words cannot express. :hug:


:cry: Sweet rest, Benny.
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Sanity Claws Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 04:24 PM
Response to Original message
2. I am so sorry.
My deepest condolences to you.
It must have been so awful to see your loved one in such pain. I just can't even imagine the pain and horror you felt.
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Kind of Blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 04:37 PM
Response to Original message
3. My, God. I am so sorry to hear of this happening
to your beloved Benny. It seemed he held on and waited for you so he could say good-bye. My deepest condolence to you, Dear Dover. :cry:
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I Have A Dream Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 06:12 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. This made me start to cry again.
:cry:

:hug:

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Flying Dream Blues Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 05:32 PM
Response to Original message
4. I'm so sorry, Dover.
What a terrible, horrible thing to happen. All I can do is offer a hug :hug:
and share your tears.

:cry:
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I Have A Dream Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 05:51 PM
Response to Original message
5. Oh, Dover... I'm so sorry that you lost your sweet little friend.
I can't say anything to make it better, but my heart hurts so much for you. :cry:

:hug::hug::hug:

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Tumbulu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 06:05 PM
Response to Original message
6. I am so so sorry
and send love to dear Benny; I am glad that he got to be with you in the end and you with him.
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Silver Gaia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 06:27 PM
Response to Original message
8. {{{Dover}}} I am so very sorry.
May your sweet Benny find safe passage into the arms of the Mother. May his spirit be renewed so that he may find you again in time.

My heart hurts for you. Mere words cannot offer the comfort I wish I could give you in your sorrow, but they are all I have. :(

:hug:
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latebloomer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 06:33 PM
Response to Original message
9. I am so sorry, Dover
for you and for what your poor kitty had to go through.

Sending healing light to both of you.

:hug:
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OneGrassRoot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 06:42 PM
Response to Original message
10. Dear God, I am so very, very sorry. Godspeed {{{{{Benny}}}}
You are no longer in pain, Dear One.

But you, Dover, most certainly are, and I send you abundant hugs of comfort and support {{{{{{Dover}}}}}.

This breaks my heart so....I know the pain of such losses....again, I am so very sorry.
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Cleita Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 06:43 PM
Response to Original message
11. Oh Dover how sad!
I don't know where you live but I'm always wary of coyotes and foxes where I live. How good that you were able to be with him when he was sent into the light. :cry: May he find that lovely catnip patch in eternity to roll in. :hug:
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LaurenG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 06:49 PM
Response to Original message
12. I offer my heartfelt condolences
I am so sorry.

Things like this are why we're here, to support each other through the things that are unbearable. I have two kitties and feel your pain deeply. :grouphug: :hug:

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Delphinus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 07:03 PM
Response to Original message
13. Oh, Dover,
I don't know what words to say. I was so unprepared for the ending of your story - as were you. I feel so badly for you in your shock and your grief and your loss. I'm grateful you were with Benny and that he did not die alone. {{{hugs}}} :hug: :cry:
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Dover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 07:44 PM
Original message
dopey dupe...
Edited on Tue Feb-10-09 07:46 PM by Dover
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Dover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 07:44 PM
Response to Original message
14. Thank you all so much for your sweet kindness.
As was mentioned, I am indeed so grateful that he was able to make it home and provide me the
opportunity to say a proper good-bye. I am in awe that he was able to get home at all.

I buried Benny in what has become a kitty graveyard. I know he is in a much better
place and will be among my greeting committee when my own time comes.

Benny's entrance into my life was as abrupt as his parting.
He and two siblings approached my front steps one frosty morning, apparently having
lost their mother. They were young and frail, barely 5 weeks of age, but oh so brave to approach me, my dog and other cats, all of whom happened to be standing on the front porch.
Benny grew into a large handsome long-haired gray tabby with huge saucer eyes and a very
quiet gentle demeanor...a lover, not a fighter. He was just three years old when he was called back home.

A shock and a heartbreak to be sure, but his sweet spirit remains.

Thank you all again for sending love.

:grouphug:
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Why Syzygy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-11-09 03:23 AM
Response to Reply #14
22. You were meant to be together.
Dover, I hope you don't mind my sharing. I feel like such a hijacker sometimes. You know my intention is not to intrude.

My little one just turned three on 2/2. I have had my doubts all along whether or not I was 'fit' to mother him. Not stable, geographically. Before I could make up my mind, I loved him. Too late. More agony with every move. I even typed up an ad on craigslist once. But, something went wrong, and it didn't post. You know what that means. I look at him now, and am so grateful that we've stayed together. He's like every other Aquarian I've ever know. Reads me like a book. He's another peace maker.

It's heartbreaking to think of the separation.
Thank you so much for trusting us with a portion. It's a symphony.
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ayeshahaqqiqa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 07:57 PM
Response to Original message
15. I am so sorry for you!
I'm crying as I read this. But I also know that Benny is near--watching over you--our cats never really go away. May you take some consolation in that.
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Bluestar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 08:44 PM
Response to Original message
16. Oh, Dover, my sincere condolences to you for losing your
sweet boy kitty. I'm sending you good vibrations that the hurt will go away and I'm so happy that Benny is now out of pain.

Bluestar
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Idylle Moon Dancer Donating Member (421 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 11:49 PM
Response to Original message
17. hugs
:hug: :cry: :hug:
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Digit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-10-09 11:50 PM
Response to Original message
18. I am so sorry, Dover
I am sorry your sweet Benny met such a tragic end at such a young age.

My deepest condolences to you.
:hug:
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BanzaiBonnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-11-09 12:56 AM
Response to Original message
19. I'm so sorry
It hurts
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JanusAscending Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-11-09 01:08 AM
Response to Original message
20. Oh Dover........
What can I say..........you wrote it so that I could actually feel what you must have felt at the time. I'm so,so sorry for your loss. Could it have been a coyote? They've been on the rampage here in Ct.
and folks are being warned not to leave their small animals out at
night. I just knew something bad was going to happen today. I woke up this morning, and my first conscious thought was, "something evil
this way comes" It was so clearly a warning to me, I didn't move from the house today!! I know you'll miss your "fur baby" but he's running after butterflies in rolling meadows now. Know that you are loved, and have many shoulders to cry on.:grouphug:
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Shallah Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-11-09 02:08 AM
Response to Original message
21. Oh gods how horrific. I am so sorry for your loss
:hug:

{{{{{Peace and healing to the soul of the person you knew as sweet Benny the cat}}}}}
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-11-09 07:46 AM
Response to Original message
23. Oh, my God. That is terrible. Peace to you and to the spirit of sweet Benny.
:cries:
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LiberalEsto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-11-09 07:58 AM
Response to Original message
24. My deepest condolences, Dover
How awful! May Benny be purring and basking now in eternal sunlight.

:hug:
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Dora Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-11-09 10:53 AM
Response to Original message
25. I'm so sorry, Dover.
That's how my Jezebel left me many years ago, taking on a pack of dogs. She was a good companion, never far from my side, and fiercely protective of me and her young.

I understand missing Benny. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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WhiteTara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-11-09 11:45 AM
Response to Original message
26. I'm so sorry Dover
I hold you close. I know how I would feel if I found my cat Picasso like that.
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lildreamer316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-11-09 11:58 AM
Response to Original message
27. Oh Dover.
I am so very sorry.
I hope you can find some peace...
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Missy Vixen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-11-09 01:26 PM
Response to Original message
28. Dover, I am so, so sorry about what happened to Benny.
I'm sending hugs and comfort.

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rosesaylavee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-11-09 02:44 PM
Response to Original message
29. Oh dover
I am soo soo sorry about your loss. Much light and hugs for you. I can't even imagine.
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MagickMuffin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-11-09 04:04 PM
Response to Original message
30. Dover, know that Benny is still with you and waiting in the win
:cry:

I've had a cat and my roommates dog that met similar fates. I was suppose to be watching over Nekkter while his daddy was at work. Nekkter wandered off and we didn't find him until much later that morning. Astra*Luna my cat was run over, or at least that's what I think happened.

Every since then I never let my loved ones out. My two feral kitties Inuyasha and Sango are pretty happy living indoors, we lost their sister Kagome back in July. Kagome was the runt and had all sorts of health problems, I still blame myself that I wasn't able to save her, I tried my hardest to help her but in the end she wasn't strong enough to pull through. She was only a little over a year old, and I still miss her dearly and think of her daily.:cry:


I know the pain you are experiencing. Please don't be hard on yourself. Stay strong and know there are people here who are in pain along with you for the loss of Benny.:cry:


Sending you light and a :hug:



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davsand Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-11-09 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
31. Dover, I am so sorry to hear this.
How awful for you both. I'm crying just reading about what happened, I simply cannot imagine how you must be feeling.


:hug:

Please know I'll hold you and Benny in my heart.



Laura
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northernlights Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-11-09 08:49 PM
Response to Original message
32. I'm so, so sorry for your loss
and for Benny's tragic passing. :cry: No words really suffice...

:hug:
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Celebration Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-11-09 09:10 PM
Response to Original message
33. oh, I hate this
Safe passage, Benny.
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midnight Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-11-09 09:26 PM
Response to Original message
34. Sweetie, I'm so sad hearing this.
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cate94 Donating Member (573 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-12-09 07:47 AM
Response to Original message
35. I am so sorry for your loss.
I cried reading this, I can't even imagine how you must be feeling. Losing a pet is difficult enough, but this loss is just beyond words.

I hope that you have found comfort in knowing that he called to you for help and you found him, and did help him.

:hug:
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catzies Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-12-09 07:38 PM
Response to Original message
36. Oh, that is so very very sad. My heart aches for you and your loss.
Edited on Thu Feb-12-09 07:39 PM by catzies
There is nothing to say to make this better but know that you are receiving love in your time of loss and may you be comforted by your memories of your beloved pet who now waits for you at the Rainbow Bridge.

{{{{{{DOVER}}}}}}
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Holly_Hobby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-12-09 10:51 PM
Response to Original message
37. I'm so sorry
I don't know you very well, but I have enjoyed reading many of your posts.

I read your post here early this morning, and have been thinking about what to say all day long. I'm just so sorry and I hope your heart heals soon. :hug:
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Mnemosyne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 06:15 PM
Response to Original message
38. Oh Dover! I am so sorry.
:hug:
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Grateful for Hope Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 06:33 PM
Response to Original message
39. Dover
I first read this very recently. I was so overcome with emotion that I felt I couldn't respond in a supporting way until now.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear sweet boy. The fact that he made his way home to you is testimony of how much he loved and trusted you.

Dover, I grieve with you. It is always so hard to lose our beloved companions, but, when one is lost as a result of agression, it is that much more painful.

I am sending love energy to you, Dover. I am so sorry.
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rumpel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 09:00 PM
Response to Original message
40. Dover, I am so sorry for your loss
of a dear friend...

:grouphug:
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BuelahWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-13-09 09:14 PM
Response to Original message
41. I'm so sorry about your Benny
:hug:
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Dover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-14-09 08:22 PM
Response to Original message
42. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude.

Thank you so much for all the loving energy sent my way.
A better Valentine heart I've never received. :grouphug:

And my love to all of you :loveya: for being there for me and Benny
as well as being such a supportive place for myself and so many others.
And I LOVE my adorable candy hearts! What a clever bunch those DU admins are.

Benny sends his love. All is well.









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