My cousin died on Friday

[LiberalEsto]

I had two first cousins. Now I have one.

I wasn't close to my male cousin, Arno, as I am to his sister Anne. In fact I only met Arno the one time I visited Estonia a few years ago. I liked him.

Arno was a quiet guy, phenomenally intelligent, soft-spoken. He was some kind of engineer, I think -- my Estonian isn't very good when it comes to technical things and job titles. And he didn't speak any English. He was only 50 years old, and leaves behind his wife and his sons, who are 25 and 11. I have no idea how he died, or whether he was ill, but I'm going to call his sister tomorrow.

He and I had some difficulty communicating, because he wasn't a chatty type of person. I speak fairly good Estonian, but being a quiet person myself, I didn't know what to say to him. His sister and I can natter on and on in Estonian about our kids, our gardens, roses, herbal medicine, our grandparents, cooking and so much more. We've corresponded by mail and email for many years, and she visited us once in the U.S., though she doesn't speak more than a few words of English.

I had hoped to see Arno again, when and if I manage to visit Estonia next summer. I guess that's not possible now. I am so sad.

This traditional pagan song makes me think of Cousin Arno. Our grandfather was an Estonian pagan.

"I lay under a tall oak tree.
I asked its spirit to shelter me
She wrapped me up in ancient green.
Ancient green.
Oh my tears, oh my tears,
Oh my tears;
the river's gonna wash them away."

[northernlights]

1. I'm so sorry for your loss

:grouphug: for Arno's family... his wife and child, his sister, and of course, for you.

[LiberalEsto]

2. Thank you, northernlights

You're a dear.

[I Have A Dream]

3. Much love and light to you and your family, LiberalEsto.

I'm so sorry that you didn't get to see him again. :(

Rest in peace, Cousin Arno. May your passage to the other side be quick and easy, and may your loved ones be waiting there with outstretched arms.

:hug:

[LiberalEsto]

4. Thank you for your good wishes, I Have A Dream

I'm sure my father and grandparents are waiting for him.

[I Have A Dream]

9. LiberalEsto, I was preparing for bed this evening...

and it popped into my head that you should not feel as though you have lost the opportunity to speak with your cousin because of his passing. As you know, you can still speak with him now, and the human personality doesn't have to be a hindrance any longer to your connecting.

Please say everything to him now that you have always wanted to say. I think that he will be very open to it and may, in fact, be waiting expectantly...

:hug:

[LiberalEsto]

14. That is a wonderful idea

and I thank you for it.

[BlueIris]

5. Terribly sorry; swift crossing over for him. nt

[LiberalEsto]

15. Thank you, BlueIris

Much appreciated

[Cleita]

6. I'm very sorry for your loss and thank you for

posting that lovely song. I love the reference to the oak tree as a spiritual mother.

[LiberalEsto]

16. Thank you, Cleita

Another version of the song goes "I asked the Goddess to shelter me". I love both versions, but Estonians believe in tree spirits so it seemed more fitting.

[elleng]

7. Sorry, Friend.

:hug:

[LiberalEsto]

17. Thank you, Friend

Good to hear from you. :hug:

[MorningGlow]

8. Sorry for your loss, LE

Sending your cousin (and you and your family) light during his crossing. :hug:

[LiberalEsto]

18. Thank you, MorningGlow

He apparently died of some kind of cardiac ailment, and a broken heart, so the light you sent is very welcome.

[Callie McAllie]

10. I'm so sorry

It is always a sad shock when someone so young dies unexpectedly.

[LiberalEsto]

19. Thank you, Callie

Yes, it is a shock, at least to me and my brother on this side of the Atlantic Ocean. From what Arno's sister told me yesterday on the phone, he'd been ill and suffering emotionally for a long time.

[JanusAscending]

11. I'm so sorry for your loss!!

I read your post yesterday, and decided to wait 'til today to respond. Strangely, I had been thinking about all of my many cousins that day, and trying to figure out the total count, and how many were still alive. I am the eldest of all the cousins, which did total in the range of two dozen. Including myself, there are 8 left. You .......dear one, in one fell swoop lost half of your cousins!! There is reason for you to weep many tears. It will take a river, ever flowing to wash them away. Treasure what is left of your family and be assured that your family here is right beside you! Hugs and love and light....JA

[LiberalEsto]

20. Thank you SO much, Janus, for your sweet words

I'm going to go to my little holy grove in the back yard tomorrow night, at the dark of the moon. And I will bring a blue ribbon to tie on the sacred birch tree in his memory. Holy groves are part of the native Estonian religion, as is the ribbon tying custom.

My family is very tiny. In addition to my husband and two daughters, I have one brother, and one aunt and cousin in Estonia. There are various second and third cousins, but I've only met a few, briefly. My husband is one of eight children, and has more cousins, nephews and nieces than I can count. But sadly, I am much closer to my brother and cousin than he is to any of them, with the exception of his father.

[Flying Dream Blues]

12. I'm so sorry for your loss, LiberalEsto.

Blessings and prayers for you and all of Arno's family are coming your way. I hope you'll get a chance to visit next summer with your cousin and family, too. Also, I hope you will try IHAD's suggestion of talking to your cousin, too. It can be so healing; it's something I do a lot and I get so much peace from it. Thanks too, for sharing more of your story; it's very interesting to me and I for one didn't know the origin of your DU name.

Love and hugs to you for your sorrow.
:hug:

[LiberalEsto]

21. Thank you, FlyingDreamBlues

I will try to talk with him in the holy grove tomorrow night. Thank you for your blessings and prayers.

It's funny, my DU name is almost a contradiction in terms. When I took it, I thought I was the only liberal Estonian-American in the US. Unfortunately many of them are right wing Republicans. Since then I have connected with a few other Estos with liberal politics, and that has been very gratifying to me.

[get the red out]

13. I am sorry you lost your cousin

I keep reading that there are people who are leaving now. I am sure he is well in his transition, we all will be.

[LiberalEsto]

22. Thank you, get the red out

for your very kind words. :)

[OneGrassRoot]

23. My sincere condolences....

to all who feel the loss of Arno.

What a lovely song...thank you for sharing that.

:hug:

:grouphug:

[LiberalEsto]

25. Thank you, OneGrassRoot

:)

[bigmonkey]

24. My condolences.

Keep speaking, the conversation doesn't have to end with this news.

[LiberalEsto]

26. You're right.

Thank you.