the 2nd side of stalking...

[northernlights]

We've discussed stalking our emotions many times in here. Watching our reactions, learning where they come from, why we respond to different people and events the way we do.

I remember from the Castaneda series, that Don Juan Matus talked about stalking our emotions, but he also talked about a different side to stalking...kind of stalking in the outer world. Learning to be invisible when needed. To blend with the surroundings. Or to be perceived in one way over here, and a different way in another situation.

This stalking is another one that has taken me a loooong time to learn. And I realized in the last couple weeks that this has been a chance for me to test my stalking skills. They've reached a new level, just in time. I think it's because we're "at war." Class war, political war, civil war, war-war. I was a healer, not a warrior. I've needed to learn warrior skills.

In the last 7 years, a couple times when I applied for jobs I really wanted, I came close. I dressed just the right way, but in the interview invariably I would say something to 'blow it.' No synchronicity came to my rescue; back to the drawing board.

But in the past couple weeks, I've 'been' several different people, sometimes one right after the other.

Yesterday, a woman about my age came in. She smiled and seemed pleasant. We were equals. I accidentally messed up her roll -- forgot it was already cut and cut it a 2nd time. Ooops. Turned to get a 2nd roll, and when I turned back her demeanor had changed. She started to get bitchy. I felt zero fear or insecurity...absolutely NEW to me with bitchy women. I normally fear bitchy women. Or at least I used to. Her bitchiness just passed right through me. :D I looked her sharply in the eye and imperceptibly slowed down. She got the message immediately -- take that attitude with me and you'll be waiting a loooooong time for your sandwich, bwahahaha! We were still equals. :D In the meantime, a young colleague had joined me to make her 2nd sandwich. The customer turned to her and started the bitch routine. "Whaddya mean what do I want on the BLT?! It's a BLT, it gets LETTUCE and TOMATO!" I watched as the young girl fell into trying to please, stammered that sometimes people want other veggies too, and nervously raced to finish the sandwich. The bitch continued the bitch routine with her, while ignoring me. I was not quite invisible and she was actually a little nervous of me. She left. Apparently she's been in before, because another young woman who works there recognized her. I asked if she was always this way, or was she just having a bad day. She's always this way. Then I turned to her "victim" and explained, "She has a miserable life. and if she's not having a miserable life yet...she will!" I feel good not only about my own progress, but I was able to demonstrate it to the young woman.

At the Subway, I'm about 5 years older, maybe 10. In the job interview at both Subway and at Dunkin' Donuts, I was older -- a little tired and a little desperate. Hair in pony tail, wearing neat white slacks and polo shirt. The visor accentuates the bags under my eyes, making them darker. I sat on and broke my funky plastic reading glasses, so now am wearing wire rims. I sat on them too, and bent them, so they sit crooked on my nose. And they aren't half glasses, so I have a hard time seeing over them. They make my eyes ginormous. I look like a pathetic old lady. The hiring managers were compassionate and took me in.

On the other hand, in the interview at the financial company, I was several years younger than I am, slick...but not too slick. Well-dressed and put together, but not too well dressed. For example, no jewelry, hair in french twist but with some loose curls. Reading glasses perched on top of my head like shades, pulled down only to quickly scan anything they hand me and then back up they go. The direct manager is working class in accent, dress and demeanor. I became working class and comfortable, totally non-threatening to her. The next manager I met with is mid-upper class -- maybe son of professional? Well-educated, traveled. As we shook hands, I became a near-cougar. I normally do this best in phone interviews, but I've reached an age where there was just enough distance between us that it works. I just became very experienced and very cool. Same thing in the phone interview. Comfortable in my skin, able to drop just the right terms in the right moment.

I feel like I'm getting the hang of the other side of stalking...I'm becoming more of a warrior.

[Kind of Blue]

1. "...becoming more of a warrior," and perhaps to win

without fighting. I just want to say that I think I know what you are talking about. I couldn't quite put my finger on it in your last post: "So I've finished my 1st week making sandwiches," but this one kind of puts both together for me and the phrase jumped into my mind. And also, Bravo, Northernlights, for seeing this position as a really good training ground for spiritual development!

I went through a similar experience in that when I'd had it with jobs and desperate for one, I gave it up to the universe to deliver. I'd learned at that point to make a list that included the very least of skills that I enjoyed. Of course, the universe delivered that one - typing. I landed very quickly a job working with 2 horrible women who'd been with the company for 10 and 15years. For job security sake, they ran out everyone in my position. That way, work that needed to be proofed piled up and they controlled how much they did and had a great excuse for the backlog. The evil witches took great pride in letting me know that they didn't expect me to last long, even so far as to relay how one of them ran into the last girl and watched her squirm because she didn't show up one day. Perhaps my chair was haunted, they said. I was scared and wondered why would the universe put me in this situation.

Around this time, I had joined the Abraham Hicks discussion forum. One thing led to another and I figured out why I was at this point. I had to learn how to be a warrior without fighting, and just possibly win! Now it was exciting. My boyfriend, now husband, hipped me to Sun Tzu, among other references from others that kept appearing about this model. And it worked. Turns out that the witches were also harassing the sales/office manager who was at her wit's end constantly trying to get work out and in daily showdowns with them. She and I clicked because she wanted to know how was I handling these women and producing. I passed on my Handbook to Higher Consciousness and the Art of War. That "lowly" job turned out to be the best job of my life, and little did I realize that I was getting the best editing training.

It was fantastic not hearing the disruptive daily arguments and sneaking hi-fives with the office manager :rofl: the other side of warrior-hood is a good place to be :hug: :hug:

[lildreamer316]

2. Husband calls this being a 'chameleon"

..and of course most people would think that means that if one is changing to suit the situation, it means one is not being true to your self, but we know the difference..it just means adapting to the situation so as to ensure the free flow of energy. Sorta. I don't know if I'm being clear, but I know what you mean.

There are times when you want to be remembered/noticed/paid attention to (what you have to say verbally or non-verbally); and times when you don't. It's a great skill to be able to recognize those times and turn it on and off.

[get the red out]

3. I am getting an education on this thread

I have practiced this sort of "hiding" in plain sight many times, and actually fairly good at it. However, making it spiritually acceptable to me and a learning experience is not something I always do easily. And to go further, dealing with very difficult people is not my strong point. I worked with a woman about 15 years ago who was like the typists described above and nearly went insane, couldn't sleep (was down to a couple of hours a night) just worrying about what the next day would bring, what trap she would set.

I have to say I did improve when I worked for a woman who loved laying those little traps a few years ago, I went insane then as well until I finally decided the only way to fight her was to not fight at all, and not even act like I saw the traps as I stepped over them. She had nothing left in her weapon stash once I did that; and like clockwork, once I had "learned that lesson" another job appeared.

So perhaps I have learned a little, but am in no way so far along as what I am reading here. Good work guys, I needed to read this. I always need a reminder that when others are nasty it isn't something I need to be upset over or feel like I have caused and must fix.

[teenagebambam]

4. I won't ask your age

But I have a friend, an acting teacher as it happens, who has recently discovered a similar skill...but she thinks it has to do with others' perceptions of her. She says all women of "a certain age" (roughly 45-60) are inherently "invisible" to society. She has figured out how to use this for a somewhat selfish gain.... on weekends she goes to fancy hotels on the beach, acts like she belongs there, uses their pool, exercise rooms , etc. She's having the time of her life!