My Son wants me to forget my combat tour in Nam, said it was only one year of my life.

[pwb]

My answer to him was that one day 24 hours in Nam with my buddies, was more time than i have spent with some of my best friends since then. A week in Nam was more time than i have spent with some family members since then. He apologized.

[terisan]

1. Also, the intensity of the experience means something different than how long the time lasted.

I have had a few intense years of my life that have affected me more than decades of less intense times.

[rosesaylavee]

2. I bet your son will always remember this conversation

and regret it quite deeply when he is older (and wiser).

[1monster]

3. How old is your son? I'd suggest that you find a copy of

Long Time Passing: Vietnam and the Haunted Generation By Myra MacPherson. It is a very evenhanded handling of the Vietnam War and of those who went, those who didn't go, those who supported the mission, those who didn't.

It also detailed the outrageous treatment of the soldiers who went by our government, of the prices paid by those who went and those who didn't. And of the ones who didn't go and later (for some unknowable reasons, perhaps the Reagan spin on war and manliness) regretted not going.

It may give him some understanding of the what you and the country went through.

But forget? No. Don't. Find whatever peace there is to be had. You went to Vietnam to serve your country as best as you could. The lessons learned from that war were too soon forgotten by too many and that is partly why we are where we are today.

http://books.google.com/books?id=bo0fGCHVx3kC&dq=&pg=PP1&ots=cFIlYtCgAd&sig=77a6o_dNd0FPP45lXDvgE5-kaAg&prev=http://www.google.com/search%3Fhl%3Den%26ie%3DISO-8859-1%26q%3DLong%2BTime%2BPassing%2BA%2BHistory%2Bof%2Bthe%2BVietnam%2BGeneration%26btnG%3DGoogle%2BSearch&sa=X&oi=print

[HereSince1628]

4. Well, at least he apologized, rather than asking for a loan.

so, at least as I see it he could have added insult to the injury.

My kids have no interest in it one way or the other. My son was in his 30's before I said anything about it to him and that was because in moving things around I had come across my old copy of the Asian edition Stars & Stripes with the CEASEFIRE! headline.

I've talked about service more on DU than with any of my family because it's more often raised as an issue here.

[Warpy]

5. "But it was only a year"

Yeah, a year of screaming hell when you didn't know if you'd still be alive in another five minutes or if anybody you were living with was, either.

A year of being confronted with deeply personal threat to your life 24/7 that is completely outside your control can't be measured against a tranquil year of working and paying bills.

A vaguely similar thing is at work when people, especially men, dismiss the effect of forcing pregnancy and childbirth on unwilling women, "Oh, it's only a year out of your life and you give the kid away and are as free as a bird!"

It doesn't work that way, either.

No one should be put in either situation.

[TomClash]

6. He should have apologized

and thanked you for your service to the country.

I like your answer, though. And many would not have apologized so he must be a good guy.

[durrrty libby]

7. Kids say the darnedest things. He doesn't mean it because he doesn't

know what he's talking about.

[Glorfindel]

8. I'm glad he apologized

Thank you for your service. :patriot:

[unhappycamper]

9. Thanks for your service, Brother.

Welcome home.