It's time for a good old fashioned exorcism thread

[Modem Butterfly]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=4768212&mesg_id=4768212

I've already been called a bigot and it's not even 1:30 on the east coast!

[JNelson6563]

1. Lunacy

Is there a drug that makes people less able to reason?

Julie

[onager]

2. That was a fun one!

I thought it was hilarious that you got accused of "Catholic-bashing" for posting a straight news article...complete with endorsements from the Pope.

As far as the SUBJECT MATTER of the artice...what century am I living in again?

[salvorhardin]

3. Didn't Phil Dick think we were still living in the 1st century?

That the modern world was just an illusion?

I think he was short about 1,000 years. The Romans were much more civilized.

[Modem Butterfly]

4. The really funny part is...

...Mr. Catholic Basher happens to believe in possession because he heard a possessed woman on a tape speaking Aramaic. So I asked him how he knew it was Aramaic. Hilarity ensued...

[Beetwasher]

5. What a Dumbass

Incredible...No wonder this country is in such trouble...

[BurtWorm]

6. I didn't know Aramaic was the language of Satan.

:think:

[onager]

7. If you really want to annoy the Cunning Linguist...

Ask him if the woman was speaking Western Aramaic or Eastern Aramaic.

Then ask him how he could tell the difference...

However, the Aramaic spoken today, called the Eastern group of dialects, is different from the Aramaic spoken by Jesus Christ, dubbed the Western group, a branch that is considered extinct.

:evilgrin:

http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/entertainment/special_packages/passion_of_christ/8038021.htm

[Ravenseye]

8. AAARRRRRGGGGHHH

These people make me want to scream. You post something about exorcism and they call it catholic bashing. Un-fucking-believable.

Where's my Flying Spaghetti Monster pin...I need to stab my eyes out.

[CarbonDate]

9. Did you see the link I posted....

...about the crucified nun?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4107524.stm

Fucked up shit.

[muriel_volestrangler]

10. The good news:

Students also attend classes in psychology so that priests can distinguish between "real cases" of satanic possession and illnesses such as schizophrenia.

and the bad news:

It is a devil of a job but someone has to do it. Applications are invited for exorcism training at the Vatican's Rome university, the Athenaeum Pontificium Regina Apostolorum. The 10-week course includes sessions in exorcism rites, how to talk to the Devil, the tricks he uses to fight back and signs of the occult hidden in rock music and video games.

http://news.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/09/16/wexocr16.xml

If we're lucky, they'll all realise that none of the cases are "real". But signs of the occult in rock music? They're still worried about that?

[salvorhardin]

11. Rock music

Oh wow. Did I ever cross the religious nuts at my first college on that whole rock music thing. I attended this program put on by whatever the local Campus Crusade for Christ organization was. This one was somewhat advanced and had one of those new fangled "hip young ministers" if you know what I mean. So they go through their spiel about subliminal backwards masking and I'm listening politely until the Q&A session at the end.

Me: You do realize that Styx put that backwards message in their last album as satire?

Christoid: But the devil is still working through it!

Me: One of the backwards messages is 'novus ordo seclorum'

Christoid: See! The devil wants you to think it's the word of god when really he wants your immortal soul!

Me: You do realize that it would have been technically infeasible for backwards messages to have been placed on albums back when Chuck Berry was recording?

Christoid: If the devil wants messages on there he makes sure they get there!

Me: You mean the backwards messages will just appear on every single copy of vinyl, and tape (both cassette and 8-track)?

Christoid: Yes! satan has many powers!

Me: Umm... You do realize that up until a few years ago that the standard consumer grade audio equipment would not be able to reproduce these messages, even if you did play them backwards. The signal to noise ratio was just too low and the frequency response too poor? Even today you'd need to spend a good chunk of change to get something that could reproduce that soft of a sound.

Christoid: Satan will make you hear it!

Me: You mean, satan will just make the voices appear inside my head and make me able to understand them?

Christoid: Yes! You're beginning to see how deceitful the devil is!

Me: (stunned silence)

[onager]

12. I got some "rock music" lyrics for 'em...

Bwa-ha-ha! That was a GREAT story! How do you argue with that kind of "logic?"

Here's some lyrics that don't need any hidden messages...

I don't need to be a global citizen, because I'm blessed by nationality
I'm a member of a growing populace, we enforce our popularity,
There are things that seem to pull us under, and there are things that drag us down.
But there's a power and a vital presence, that's lurking all around...

We've got the American Jesus,
Seen him on the interstate,
We've got the American Jesus,
He helped build the President's estate

I feel sorry for the earth's population, 'cause so few live in the U.S.A.
At least the foreigners can copy our morality, they can visit but they cannot stay,
Only a precious few can garner the prosperity, it makes us walk with renewed confidence
We've got a place to go when we die, and the architect resides right here

We've got the American Jesus,
Overwhelming millions every day (exercising his authority)

He's the farmers barren fields, the force the army wields
The expession in the faces of the starving children
The power of the man, he's the fuel that drives the Klan

He's the motive and conscience of the murderer
He's the preacher on TV, the false sincerity
The form letter that's written by the big computers
He's the nuclear bombs, and the kids with no moms
And I'm fearful that he's inside me.

We've got the American Jesus,
Seen him on the interstate,
We've got the American Jesus,
He helped build the President's estate

One nation, under God,
One nation, under God,
One nation, under God...

("American Jesus" by Bad Religion)

[salvorhardin]

13. Great lyrics.

I'm not really familiar with Bad Religion though. They're hardcore aren't they? Sorry, I'm a total proghead but I'll have to check them out one of these days.

BTW: The outcome of that little Q&A with the hip, young minister was that I was hounded by fundie nutcases trying to convert me all semester. Thankfully fundie nutcases don't usually go into computer science (Larry Wall being the exception that proves the rule) or I'd have to put up with them praying for me in class. The next semester I started hanging out with the stoners and the fundie nutcases started all avoiding me thinking that I'd already sold my soul to the devil. :evilgrin:

On edit: Oh, and did you realize that even Stryper had backwards satanic messages in it? All rock music does according to the hip young minister. Stryper may think they're spreading the word of god but they're really doing the devil's work. :crazy:

[BiggJawn]

14. I took a swing at him, too.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=4768212&mesg_id=4800918

Won't make any damn difference. Someone with a hide that fucking THIN will probably flagellate himself into a thundering orgasm then put on a hair shirt to sleep in...And DREAM of how he SUFFERED for Mary and his Pope...

[Az]

15. Have I ever mentioned that I had been exorcised before

Twice in fact. Once online and once on a street corner.

I once found myself in a Christian chat room asking some dangerous questions. As there was no operator in the room at the time they could not kick me out. So instead they tried to exorcised me. Dozens of them started typing "The power of Christ compells you". Damn near choked myself laughing.

Another time I found myself arguing with a street corner pentecost preacher. He informed me that my unbelief came from a demon posessing me. He offered to exorcise me and I let him. Again, the laughter was nearly deadly.

[salvorhardin]

16. ROFL!

Online exorcisms! I wonder if we can use that on some of the PCT xians? "The power of Christ compells you not to be such a dumbass!" :evilgrin:

[GOPFighter]

17. Christian chat rooms

I've never been in on...is there a bag likit or can you slaughter as many as you can? I can almost hear the implosions!

[Az]

18. Depends on the nature of the chat room

I used to be a operator of the #atheism debate room on IRC DALNET. We controlled access to the room. We could silence people, kick them, or ban them. Ours was a fairly open policy. As long as they didn't go crazy spamming bible verse most were welcome.

But in the xian rooms it was like being in a museum. Nothing was allowed out of place. If you did not partake in the chanting and agree with the dogma you would find yourself out before you knew it. They would even monitory what other channels you were in and kick you for being in the naughty ones.

The trouble with Dalnet was that every so often the security would go down. When that happens the operators can't do much. Thats when things go bad for such a controlled group as the xians.

So if security is up, you won't even be able to pull the weapons out. Once security drops.... skies teh limit.

[Modem Butterfly]

19. Oh that's funny

I've sold my soul a few times, but that's as far as it went.

[Skinner]

20. Please see here

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=263&topic_id=11115&mesg_id=11115