New sig line !

[beam me up scottie]

I'm trying out different ones.
What do you guys think?

[trotsky]

1. Unknown - yeah right!

You said that, didn't you? C'mon, fess up!

[beam me up scottie]

2. You'd think so since

certain former acquaintances of mine apparently have a fondness for
deadly cutting tools...as much as I'd love to take credit, 'twasn't me.

Here are some others I was looking at:

"It is a just retribution for improper sexual misconduct"
Mother Teresa, on AIDS

"Evolution is a bankrupt speculative philosophy, not a scientific fact. Only a spiritually bankrupt society could ever believe it. ... Only atheists could accept this Satanic theory."
Rev. Jimmy Swaggart

"To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin."
Cardinal Bellarmine, 1615, during the trial of Galileo

"I can't understand how all this can have happened, it's enough to make one lose one's faith in God!"
Eva Braun during the last days with Hitler

"Hence today I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator: by defending myself against the Jew, I am fighting for the work of the Lord.."
Hitler (Mein Kampf, Chapter 2)

or, would I maximize offense potential with these?:


"Suppose we've chosen the wrong god. Every time we go to church we're just making him madder and madder"
- Homer Simpson's version of Pascal's Wager

"If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to GIRLS sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such."
- Homer Simpson

"This so-called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Now let us say the lord's prayer 40 times, but first let's pass the collection plate."
- Rev. Lovejoy

"Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends! Well I say there are some things we don't want to know! Important things!"
- Ned Flanders

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!"
- Homer Simpson

"Come on Milhouse, there’s no such thing as a soul! It’s just something they made up to scare kids, like the Boogie Man or Michael Jackson.”
- Bart Simpson

[trotsky]

3. Ooh, it's hard to go wrong with a Simpsons quote.

"Foxy boxing" hehehe

Careful with those first few - there's probably more than a couple of DUers who might actually agree with them!

[beam me up scottie]

4. Yeah, I can hear Bubba now...

" buh buh buh? What's wrong with that?"

[progressoid]

5. "more than a couple of DUers who might actually agree with them!"

I was thinking the same thing!

[Warpy]

6. That first quote had me scratching my head.

Was Ma Terry suggesting that if we did sexual misconduct properly, we'd have no risk of AIDS?

Maybe she was hinting at using condoms, after all.

[beam me up scottie]

7. Nah.

I think inside, she was doing a church-lady dance thinking about all of the miserable aids patients she'd get to minister to while she watched them die.

[BurtWorm]

8. These I like!

"To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin."
Cardinal Bellarmine, 1615, during the trial of Galileo

"I can't understand how all this can have happened, it's enough to make one lose one's faith in God!"
Eva Braun during the last days with Hitler


That second one has a wicked little punch to it. :thumbsup:

[beam me up scottie]

9. I know! Isn't that last one great?

I like the Hitler ones because I'm getting tired of arguing with all of the DU'ers who still insist he was an atheist. :mad:

I remember watching the Simpson's episode where he prays to Superman, I thought I was going to wet myself! Just the way he said it...
:rofl:

[onager]

10. Hitler was a lib'rul, too!

This bit of...er, logic has been going around Freeperville for several years now.

1. The name of Hitler's political party was the National SOCIALISTS.

2. Socialists are left-wing liberals.

3. Conclusion: Hitler was a left-wing Socialist, not a good, decent right-winger like us.

If one of them ever tries this, just ask them if they also believe the People's Republic of China is really a republic.

(Mandatory Worthless Historical Trivia: in the beginning, the Nazis did have a few real Socialists. IIRC, they included the Strasser brothers Otto and Gregor, and the very "out" homosexual leader of the Brownshirts (SA), Ernst Roehm.

As Roehm collected more followers and power, he became really outspoken about getting back to the Party's original aim of "overthrowing the fatcat bosses in favor of the working man."

This became a real embarassment to Hitler. At the time he was kissing ass with a lot of wealthy conservative industrialists and other fatcat bosses to finance the Party.

Roehm and Gregor Strasser were killed during the Night of the Long Knives in June 1934. After that little object lesson, any remaining Socialists either fled or kept their mouths shut.)

[trotsky]

11. How about this one (always cracks me up):

"Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me and I am thankful. For the first time in my life everything is absolutely perfect the way it is. So here's the deal: you freeze everything as it is and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. <pause> OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, please give me no sign. <pause> Thy will be done." <eats food> –Homer Simpson