Fantasy Time: Help me come up with a line-up for our own TV Channel

[Modem Butterfly]

Anyone who has Dish network is probably familiar with FSTV, or Free Speech TV. Well, what if we had Free Thought TV? What kind of shows would we have? Here are my ideas:

BMUS and Butthead: Each week, Beam Me Up Scottie gets to interview and debate a theist.

Gardening with The Boreal Avenger: Need I say more?

This Old Belief System: Each week, Trotsky meets someone who is having a spiritual crisis and gives them that last, extra-special push.

Travels with Onager: A Discovery-Chanel rip-off, Onager travels the Middle East, explaining the history and current situation in each area he comes across, and going into explicit detail of just how religion screwed them up.

American Missionary: A reality show in which would-be missionaries attempt to concinve a panel of atheists their religion is best. Features Taxloss as an even snarkier version of Simon. Meanwhile, Beetwasher, as a sexier Paula Abdul, attempts to get each contestant into the "missionary position", with hilarious results. TV-MA

Pinko's Playhouse : Commie Pinko Dirtbag takes an hour each morning to corrupt theist children before homeschool begins.

Okay, what are your ideas?

[beam me up scottie]

1. BiggJawn can host a workshop:

"How To Have Fun and Make Money Selling to Woo Woos"

He will dress like an engineer and have a steam locomotive theme.

[BiggJawn]

9. Naw.... Let's call it "The WHISTLE Show"!

Same railroad theme, but it'll be a quiz show, where I quizz the Fundies and show just how LITTLE they know about their prescious Bibles...

"Ok, Billy-Ray, for $500 and an autographed picture of Tammy Faye, where did Jeesus say 'Queers are going to HELL'?"

"uh.....I dunno, but it's in there SOMEPLACE!"

"Sorry, it's NOT! you lose!"
"WOOOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
(I blast a big steam whistle off in his ear)

[WhollyHeretic]

2. Raptured- a hidden camera prank show using special effects and

actors to make people think they are experiencing the rapture.


X-treme Logic- Brave atheists go door to door trying to discuss the joys of atheism with people in the deep south and the show goes until there is one survivor who gets a cash prize. Those that were lynched will have libraries named after them. As far as extreme sports go it'll make sky diving look like table tennis.

[beam me up scottie]

4. Priceless !!!

:rofl:

:applause:

[YankeyMCC]

5. Finally

a reality show I would watch and enjoy!

LoL

[beam me up scottie]

3. Bluebear could do a weekly magazine called "Bear Tactics"

and go undercover to expose the frauds, capturing every agonizing detail of the "Gotcha!" moment on hidden cameras.

We could also include a 5 minute dish and call it "Gossip with God".

[Bluebear]

7. I'm in, BMUS!

I can play psuedo-pious undercover reporter Cody Ray John Buck, exposing the religious charlatans!

[beam me up scottie]

8. "Cody Ray John Buck"

:rofl:

Why do I keep picturing Frank Fontana from Murphy Brown?

[trotsky]

6. LOL those are all great.

me: "Norm, what's this?"

Norm: "This is a copy of What Your Church Doesn't Want You to Know."

me: "Oh yeah, that would be perfect for our wavering Episcopalian this week!"


How about "Atheist Eye for the Straight Dork" where Modem Butterfly gives personality and hygiene tips to fundie Xians?

[Beetwasher]

10. LOL!

But I like it doggie style! :evilgrin:

:thumbsup:

[Modem Butterfly]

11. SOOOOO tasteful!

:rofl:

I knew I could count on you!

:rofl:

Can't you just see Taxloss pulling a Simon? "Who's going to hell? Certainly not me. Absolutely pitiful,"

[Beetwasher]

12. "You Call THAT Prosletyzing?"

"You sound like you're trying to sell me a vacuum cleaner. Pathetic"

[onager]

13. Modem Butterfly and BMUS, starring in...

WFW (World Freethought Wrestling) Extream Tag-Team

Every week, MB and BMUS...from the safety of an armored, bullet-proof glass cage...will start the ball rolling with the Question Of The Week. These can be taken directly from those great posts of theirs that have infuriated so many of the Weak-Minded.

Such as "Tell us why YOUR religion is the right one?" Or "Which is the REAL psychic, John-Edward or Sylvia Browne?"

Contestants will be drawn from the bottomless pool of religious believers AND secular Woo-Woos. The studio will be copiously stocked with innocent everyday objects such as chairs, LARGE economy-size bottles of homeopathic medicine, and 20-pound Family Buy-bulls. (But no knives or firearms--really, we want this to be a SPORTING event.)

[Taxloss]

17. "You are a walking, snivelling example of the Post-Hoc Fallacy. Goodbye."

I'm actually quite sweet-natured. I don't know how I got this rep as a hardarse.

[Gelliebeans]

14. Great Idea!

I'll call the Dish today and suggest they take up MB on the offer. :thumbsup:

[beam me up scottie]

15. BuffyTheFundieSlayer and Gelliebeans

in "Touched By a Noodle".

Traveling the country in a solar powered convertible VW Bug, they will help lost believers in their time of need by introducing them to the power of healing from The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

All hail his noodley appendages!

[NMMNG]

16. LOL!

Do I get to have a golden aura about me as I reveal my true identity to the downtrodden? :P

[beam me up scottie]

19. Yep, except it would be a

golden aura in the shape of a squid!

[Gelliebeans]

20. ha ha

well as long as the VeeDUB runs on solar power I am all for it

I can see the noodley appendages flowing in the wind :rofl:

On second thought I want to have an invisibility cloak and be able to contact Dumbledore with my shoe phone ala Get Smart

[Taxloss]

18. Arf! This thread is great.

I would like to suggest "TaxLost" in which 40 evangelical leaders are put in a plane and crashed into a remote island, completely out of contact with civilisation.

No cameras or anything. I just think it would be a good idea.

[beam me up scottie]

21. We could do a fly-over once a week

just to get their hopes up and count how many are left.
There would be no food to be had on the island, of course.

Now that's reality tv even I would watch.

[beam me up scottie]

22. IanDB1 could have his own

Bob Rossi style show instructing woo woos on how to teach their cats to paint.
He would also offer an assortment of books and art supplies with his personal endorsement.

[Ian David]

28. Well, thanks! I always wanted my own Hoax Show.

I'd love to create a fake Bigfoot hysteria in my neighborhood.

However, I think it would be easier to make it look like there is a primitive Hunter-Gatherer tribe living in the state park.

We could do things like leave arrows with flint arrowheads stuck in trees.

I don't do well on television, though. My eyes keep snapping back and forth between the interviewer and the camera, and it looks like I have a seizure disorder.

btw...

Another idea: who here would want to do a show with sidewalk anti-evangelism? You stand on a sidewalk with magic markers and an easel, and preach about Atheism.

[Modem Butterfly]

29. Your last idea reminds of a stunt on Jackass

Jackass, for the unfamiliar, was a show on MTV that specialized in bizarre, disgusting, and rather violent pranks. It was definitely aimed at males age 14 to 30. A typical prank involved setting off fireworks in someone's parents' bedroom at 3 in the morning.

This particular stunt involved a man dressed in a red silk devil suit (complete with horns and a tail), carrying a sign that said, "Ban God". He was capering and jumping about on a busy city street. The response of passers by was hilarious.

[Tafiti]

30. That was hysterical.

Although what his sign actually said was, "Keep God Out Of California".

I remember at least a couple of people getting violent with him, throwing things at him and trying to hit him. Classic.

[PassingFair]

23. How about ...

"In Search of Az"

I'd watch.

[beam me up scottie]

25. Yes.

And Dookus.
I would watch too.

[beam me up scottie]

24. Anarcho-Socialist

would have a hard hitting investigative show where he would follow the trail of the latest conspiracy theories and inventing new ones as he goes along.

Guests would include regular appearances by Jimmy Carter, Margaret Thatcher, Elmo, Tony Blair, Rudy Giuliani, secret Mossad agents, spokespeople from Scotland Yard and various past Bilderberg guests.

[Anarcho-Socialist]

27. I could do that...

Of course, all guests would have to be screened for reptilian blood. :)

[beam me up scottie]

26. IMModerate would do a Sunday morning

program celebrating the diversity of life as an atheist.

[immoderate]

31. Any Sunday that I'm not in church.

Easy pickings. I'd be going against Osteen, Hagee, Kennedy, and I'd likely attract anyone who can't stand to watch insanity. Funny though, I watch those guys sometime maybe because I enjoy a little insanity. (But only in small doses.)

I'd like to do some science experiments like Mr. Wizard. Anybody remember him?

Yes. It's a good slot. Thanks for the nomination, Scottie. I hope you'll sit in on the "panel" sometimes. I'll try to live up to your expectations.:patriot:

--IMM

[beam me up scottie]

32. I LOVE Mr. Wizard !!!

That would be a cool show!
Kiddies all over the world would be faking illness to get out of church so that they could watch!

[immoderate]

33. Whatever it takes to get them out of church!

It was in my mind though to aim the Mr. Wizard segment at adults. They need it.

when I was a kid (in the 50s) it was standard in my neighborhood for all the kids to have a laboratory. In my case it was a corner in my basement where I used to burn and torture things to see what would happen. I should also point out that I grew up near the home of Richard P. Feynman, but I didn't know about him until I was older, and read his autobiography, "Surely You'e Joking Mr. Feynman," which is a great read.

--IMM

[beam me up scottie]

34. Check out this page from

The Museum of Broadcast Communications:

http://www.museum.tv/archives/etv/W/htmlW/watchmrwiz/watchmrwiz.htm



I was able to catch some of the episodes in the early 70's.
Don Herbert is a pretty remarkable guy.



And you're right about the adults being the ones needing the science lessons.
Most children are naturally curious about how things work.

[immoderate]

35. I'm teared up!

What a great page. I teach computer classes mostly. And you reminded me that Mr. Wizard is there amongst my main influences.

--IMM

[salvorhardin]

36. Another blast from the past

For all the problems associated with the Cold War and the space race, it certainly did foster a time when science and engineering were a cherished part of life. Broadcast television public interest regulations didn't hurt either (which I'm convinced is the reason why Mr. Wizard was on so many local television stations).

Has anyone watched the current educational fare offered by NASA TV? The stuff intended for the classroom. I'm a little conflicted about it. On the one hand I'm glad it's there, but it seems watered down, and those annoying oh-so-cute child actors bug the hell out of me. I think one of the reasons for the success of shows like Mr. Wizard was that he used real kids. Carefully screened real kids, but real kids nonetheless.

[beam me up scottie]

38. I haven't even heard of them.

Worth watching?
(keep in mind I probably hate annoying oh-so-cute child actors as much as you do)

[salvorhardin]

41. I don't know

I haven't watched very much of it. Things I like include the fact that they're attempting to teach the scientific method and problem solving, and I really like that they have the kids get in touch with real space agency employees and scientists to get background information but like I said before it seems a little watered down. It could be that they're just trying to reach a younger crowd.

There's a webcast that works pretty well here -- if your eyesight is good (postage stamp video): http://www.nasa.gov/multimedia/nasatv

I just checked and they were replaying the spacewalk to replace the gyro aboard the ISS. I suspect you can find the classroom directed stuff on most weekday mornings and afternoons.

[beam me up scottie]

37. Wow. Richard Feynman, eh?

You grew up in New York?
My dad's from Staten Island.

I am curious about Richard Feynman, I'll have to put his autobiography on my short list.

I wonder whether he could have accomplished more if religious prejudice hadn't held him back, or if the bigotry made him even more determined and he thrived because of it.

[immoderate]

39. We're from Far Rockaway.

Feynman doesn't mention encountering prejudice in his books, Nor is it mentioned by Peter(?) Gleick, who wrote a biography called Genius. I have to figure that science is one place that had plenty of Jews. (Not counting Germany of course.)

My favorite Feynman story: He lived in Brazil and became a bongo player in an award winning samba school. (School means band.) Then he returned to Cal Tech. Some years later he was trying to find methods of getting scientists to think "out of the box." So he suggested that they search for people who had scientific knowledge but also artistic proclivities. When he received the results of the search group, you guessed it, Richard P. Feynman.

His books are wonderful. A volume of his letters was published recently, edited by his daughter. But you'll love his autobiography. BTW, there is a sequel.

--IMM

[beam me up scottie]

40. I thought there was a limit to the number of

Jews who could be admitted to universities at that time.

I found a couple of references here:
http://www-gap.dcs.st-and.ac.uk/~history/Mathematicians/Feynman.html

After leaving school he applied to several universities to study there. One would have expected every university to which he applied would enthusiastically offer him a place but it was not that easy. Although his grades in mathematics and science were outstanding, he had performed much less well in other subjects. There was also the "problem" that he was a Jew, which really was a problem in the United States at this time with universities having quotas on the number of Jews they admitted. He sat an entrance examination for Columbia University and they turned him down. He never quite forgave them for charging him 15 dollars and then rejecting him. He was accepted, however, by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

Despite the personal recommendation that Harry Smyth at Princeton received from Slater, it was not obvious that Feynman would be accepted. He had the best grades in physics and mathematics that anyone had seen, but on the other hand he was close to the bottom in history, literature and fine arts. He had one other thing going against him - namely that he was Jewish. Smyth wrote:-

Is Feynman Jewish? We have no definite rule against Jews but have to keep their proportion in our department reasonably small because of the difficulty of placing them.

After further letters from Slater, Feynman was accepted by Princeton.

I definitely will pick up a copy of his book.
I hate how scientists seem to be always inaccurately portrayed as one-dimensional and this sounds like an antidote.
Thanks for the recommendation!

[immoderate]

44. Funny, I don't remember that stuff.

Also I was thinking of post-degree Feynman.

--IMM

[NMMNG]

42. Escape from Danger Island (I'm feeling a bit snarky right now)

Twelve strangers, six atheists and six theists, are dropped off on a deserted island. The premise is simple: they need only find a way to escape the island.

The catch is that the theists must rely on their God. They can pray all they want, but they cannot use science. If their God does not provide means of escape they are SOL.

The atheists, on the other hand, can do anything that current science (and the materials on the island) provides them means to do.

:evilgrin:

[Phentex]

43. I'm hosting MYTHBUSTERS!

Speaks for itself, eh? :nuke:

[Zhade]

45. I didn't get a show.

Can I get a walk-on somewhere? Somehow I don't think "The Angry Atheist Hour with Zhade" would appeal to a large demographic. :D

[Modem Butterfly]

46. How about Cooking with Zhade?

At the end of the show, you get to dump the final results over the head of the anti-free-thought person of your choice!

[salvorhardin]

47. Bam!

That'd kick it up a notch. :evilgrin:

[Zhade]

49. I do like to cook...!

In fact, I'm a-gonna do that righ' now!

[salvorhardin]

48. So what about poor old Mayor Hardin?

I thinking 1970s style variety show but I imagine it would involve a lot me shaking my head and cursing under my breath.

[onager]

50. More Sunday morning counter-programming...

Oh, I'm back from North Carolina.

:hi:

What a RELIEF to be away from fading Bu$h stickers and religious propaganda on every corner. Not to mention asshats who loudly and ostentatiously order the family to "say grace" over their free hotel breakfast. (Go read the Magic Book, Chuckles. Jesus H. Christ himself said you should do that sort of thing in private. See the book of Matthew.)

I'm up here before 6 AM with jet lag. Bleh!

The posts about "quotas" for Jews going to college made me think (for a change).

As a response to wall-to-wall religious programming, we could also use another Sunday morning program called something like...

Great Moments In Religion!

Subjects would include, but certainly not be limited to...

--the USA's rejection of a few thousand Jewish children before WWII, especially the Congressional resolution that "separating children from their parents is contrary to God's will." (Letting the children be turned into ashes apparently fit right in with God's will.)
--the Thirty Years War
--the destruction of the libraries in Granada, Alexandria, etc.
--the Inquisition
--the witchcraft mania
--(equal time provision) the Hindu-Muslim split that divided India and Pakistan with horrendous atrocities on both sides
--(ditto) how Shintoism and fanatical right-wing nationalism helped Japan crank up WWII
--(ditto) the genocides God repeatedly ordered Israel to perform in the Old Testament

There would never be a lack of material...