Boston folks - any ideas how you can help?

[MH1]

There is an ominous situation here:

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/10/10/165746/51?detail=f

started by this one -

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/10/10/133747/70

I think this is someone JK replied to in one of his posts. Not that it matters.

Edit to add: after reading more of those long threads, it looks like the immediate concern is somewhat resolved, but the person still needs help, from what I gather.

[MH1]

1. OK I can't edit now but I was wrong - the danger is NOT past -

This comment at dailykos has the latest:

http://www.dailykos.com/comments/2006/10/10/165746/51/345#c345

Do not contact her family. I have already done so and it will not generate new leads. Out of respect for the privacy of all involved let's make sure they're left alone. I have a possible recent employer I will contact in the morning.

Look for her AND HER DOGS in Boston, at libraries, at animal shelters. She wrote about euthanizing her dogs recently. Check the animal shelters nearby for anyone matching her description. You are looking for a 48-year old caucasian woman, five-foot-four inches tall, approximately 140 pounds, with brown hair and blue eyes. She may drive a 1993 Chevy Suburban.

Listen, guys. I believe this is a real suicide note. There is little time.
Kitty Sez...

by AngryMonkey on Tue Oct 10, 2006 at 05:26:15 PM PD

[beachmom]

3. Oh, I think you missed my thread below

But let's just use your thread now. I was hoping that they had found her, but they hadn't. That was a very ominous diary she posted. I guess from what the police say, you have to wait 24 hours before someone is missing. It is sad. Just to refresh everyone's memories, here was John Kerry's diary. He must have been very impressed with Buffy's questions, because he answered THREE of her questions.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/8/17/132653/514


From his update:

Buffy Orpington asked about the wiretapping decision today. Today's decision proves one important thing: no one is above the law. We all know this administration is good at hiding the truth and spinning the politics and sorely lacking when it comes to making us safer in the world.

Buffy Orpington asked about health care access and funding for people without preventive or catastrophic care. We are going to rescue health care by being bold and having the guts to try. I was at Faneuil Hall just a couple weeks ago laying out a plan to get health care for every man woman and child by 2012. There are 11 million children alone living in this country without health insurance. My KidsFirst plan, a part of a comprehensive health care plan, will actually save states billions of dollars and get every child covered. And I'm going to fight for this. Check out my plan at johnkerry.com, tell me what you think.

Buffy Orpington also wanted to hear about veterans' health care needs. The way veterans are treated in Washington has been a national disgrace. Huge tax cuts for the wealthiest among us - another tax cut for John Kerry while we've got cuts in services for homeless veterans, gaping holes in our budget for PTSD, and a billion dollar plus veterans' budget shortfall. The guy I emailed for the last two days -- Dan Akaka -- is a leader on this issue - he's the ranking member of Veterans Affairs committee in the Senate. Together we worked on legislation this year to increase funding for the VA and veterans centers across the country. You want to help veterans? Make him a chairman. And elect vets who have been there -- Pat Murphy -- Tammy Duckworth -- Joe Sestak -- and others of the 60+ veterans running as Democrats this year.

[MH1]

4. Thanks, beachmom, I did miss yours

I recognized Buffy's name right away and remembered that JK had replied to her.

I hope this works out and she's found safe and things get resolved for her.

[MH1]

2. GD Post

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2365501

[TayTay]

5. I just got back from Town Meeting and read this

It's so awful. The poor woman, I hope the folks in Boson proper are able to find and help her. She will be in my prayers tonight.

How sad to think that you are all alone and not know that thousands of people are praying for you at this very moment and that they do care, they just can't reach you. How very sad indeed.

[wisteria]

6. Maybe her last post was a cry for attention and she wouldn't really

do harm to herself. It is so sad that someone could feel so alone and helpless. I pray this has a happy ending.

[beachmom]

7. Most recent update and diary

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/10/11/75053/524

BuffyWatch: Wed 11 Oct 2006 -- Updates Only
by GreyHawk
Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 04:50:52 AM PDT
Latest update:


GreyHawk and Aerdrie have left a note on Buffy's door, and are heading out now. Assured us more later.

Most recent diary prior to this: Keep BUFFY in your thoughts and prayers

Prayer thread for Buffy: For BUFFY: Prayers, thoughts, meditations

Buffy's most recent diary: Exhaustion

GreyHawk's diary :: ::
Good info from previous diary:

Iconoclastic Cat has a comment downthread that I thought might help latecomers so here it is:




Information from the other thread:

Starting here: http://www.dailykos.com/...

Call animal shelters near ZIP 02215 (9+ / 0-)

See if a fifty-ish women dropped off any dogs for care.

Kitty Sez...
by AngryMonkey on Tue Oct 10, 2006 at 06:26:16 PM EDT



then:


02215 is Kenmore Square for you Bostonians.
(Map. http://maps.google.com/... )

She must be posting from the central library at Copley Square. They close at 9 PM.

What happens on DailyKos, stays on Google.

by Jon Meltzer on Tue Oct 10, 2006 at 06:38:30 PM EDT



and then at 10PM:


Anyone with dogs near Kendall Square?
Where would you go with your dogs in the area. Her dogs aren't in her apartment, so assuming the search of vets and rescue agencies doesn't turn them up, maybe she went to a dog friendly location with them. Thinking off the top of my head, walkable places: * The common * The esplanade Is there anything the other way, like toward Cambridge?
I seem to recall a small park on the way to the McGrath & Obrien bridge.
Shut It Down Now! Beware the everyday brutality of the averted gaze.
by mataliandy on Tue Oct 10, 2006 at 10:36:13 PM EDT

by iconoclastic cat on Tue Oct 10, 2006 at 10:46:04 PM EDT


More stuff cribbed directly from previous diary:

This is a diary intended to help those who are trying to help one of our own, Buffy Orpington.


It is not to speculate on her motives or health.

It is only to help.

Here are the other diaries for those coming late to the situation:

Exhaustion

Buffy Orpington NOT Found

Boston Kossacks PLEASE HELP Buffy



The news so far...(25+ / 0-)

The police have been to her apt. The police confirmed that the pic we have of "Buffy" is the same woman in the apt via the super of the building. They entered the apt and the only thing they found was her cat. The dogs were not there.

I contacted the library closest to her apt, and sent them her pic. They will call me if they see her.

This is where I am getting frightened, to be honest:

It has been discussed that she does not have a car. She sent her diary apparently from the Library (or so we must assume). She is not at the apt, and no one in the building has seen her since this morning early, including the superintendent. She is apparently not in the hospitals that Rena contacted.:


Where could she be at this point?:

I contacted all the local homeless shelters, and there is no one fitting that description amongst the folks who have come in to eat or shower. but I find it odd she would go to one of them if the apt is still available to her.:


I am afraid at this point, as it is now dark and cold and there is no sign of her.:

Please say some prayer the police can find her. Occam's Hatchet and I have talked and he thinks I need to stay put in PA until we both hear back from Boston PD.:


A different world cannot be built by indifferent people:

by Brubs on Tue Oct 10, 2006 at 08:54:27 PM EDT



Others have asked that this update be included -- again I say -- PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL -- we don't know what is going on, we are doing this because we care -- if this was your mother, sister, daughter, ....


UPDATE from AngryMonkey on Tue Oct 10, 2006 at 05:26:15 PM PDT....

Do not contact her family. I have already done so and it will not generate new leads. Out of respect for the privacy of all involved let's make sure they're left alone. I have a possible recent employer I will contact in the morning.....

Look for her AND HER DOGS in Boston, at libraries, at animal shelters.
She wrote about euthanizing her dogs recently. Check the animal shelters nearby for anyone matching her description. You are looking for a 48-year old caucasian woman, five-foot-four inches tall, approximately 140 pounds, with brown hair and blue eyes. She may drive a 1993 Chevy Suburban.....

Listen, guys. I believe this is a real suicide note. There is little time.

One more note: Imagine you are Buffy. Depressed and feeling helpless, you post the diary Exhausted. You don't look at a computer for a while again. And then you find the three threads here. Forget what happened between the diary and finding these threads. Think what it might be like -- overwhelming? frightening? embarrassing? expectations start flying through your head -- they'll make a big deal if I post again, I don't want a big deal -or- they won't trust me again, I've lost them. Yes, this may be the darker side of imagining, but please consider that we may need to let Buffy reenter at her own time and pace and on her terms. Just a hopeful thought for tomorrow.

IF YOU HAVE NEW INFORMATION please post a comment to the end of the thread with "NEW INFO" at the start of the subject line and a timestamp (eg "NEW INFO 7:49 am EST"). That will help folks who are doing legwork and phone canvassing.

Thank you.

[beachmom]

8. Update at 1 PM (still no Buffy); will file missing person report in 1 hour

NEW UPDATE: Wed 11 Oct 2006 1:00 pm (27+ / 0-)
Recommended by: beachmom, Alma, Buckeye BattleCry, SarahLee, Marlboro Lite, Margot, thebes, theran, vrexford, dnamj, javelina, Swordsmith, lilnubber, aitchdee, cathy b, Leaves on the Current, LisaZ, lgmcp, borkitekt, Squirrel2634, chapel hill guy, Left Shu Untied, Loudoun County Dem, aelurophile, DeannaHawk, aravir, Mary Mike

The "troops on the ground" are coordinating another in-person check of the apartment, and will work it with Boston PD in a little over an hour or so.

We will have a picture available, and as of 2 pm EST the last known contact will have been 24 hours ago, so we will also be in a position to file a missing persons report.

As things get ironed out and news comes in, more info will be added.

Note: when this diary reaches or exceeds 300 comments, Emmasnacker has offered to launch a new one to replace it to ensure that it doesn't bog down. It's ready and waiting. When we hit that point, watch for another update here and on the main header for this diary.

Thank you.


Never, never brave me, nor my fury tempt:
Downy wings, but wroth they beat;
Tempest even in reason's seat.


by GreyHawk on Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 10:00:11 AM PDT




When they start a new diary, I will provide that link.

[beachmom]

9. Markos thinks helping her is a privacy violation

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/10/11/131954/47

He compares trying to help her with violating privacy rights for abortion.

I'm sure people will have different opinions, but I vehemently disagree with him. But I think I've had it with that community -- stupid Kos dittoheads all IMMEDIATELY agreeing with him. Somebody actually compared this to Terri Schiavo -- to heck with that person.

[TayTay]

10. Ahm, I think he has a point

Ahm, his list of what happened, in public, is extensive and is intrusive to her privacy. I think I agree with him and that there was a better way to handle this. (Preferably by e-mail.)

We all want to do good works and help others. But, I think the reaction was excessive. If that was done to me, I would be very, very angry and feel violated. There was a way to handle this and a way not to handle this and I think Buffy's right to privacy was violated.

I know you are acting from a need to help and possibly save someone. But, I can't help feeling that Buffy's right to privacy is also very important and that it was violated. I think we might be 'kindly disagreeing' on this one.

[beachmom]

11. My opinion is that her diary

null and voided her privacy rights because it implied that she was going to harm herself, which is a crime. Just like if someone advocated violence specifically against someone or someplace, privacy rights (and freedom of speech for that matter) are set aside.

Agreed, that they should have done more by e-mail, but it seems that many people did actually know her, and if she really wanted to be left alone she wouldn't have posted the diary.

Of course, we can kindly disagree. You are gentler than Kos was.

[MH1]

13. Yes and no.

I agree that kos has a point, sort of, but I don't think I agree with him.

This post by a guy who was doing a lot of the ground work is a good rebuttal, I think:

http://www.dailykos.com/comments/2006/10/11/131954/47/384#c384

More importantly, I think everyone was acting out of sincere kindness, and even if some mistakes were made that violated her privacy, the intentions of the people involved were well-meaning.

I think a lot of a person's judgement about this case may hinge on how the diary that started it all is perceived. People who have been following her diaries there, and people who have experience in social work and the like, seemed to agree that it was a suicide note. I thought it was very likely a suicide note. Even if you see it as a suicide note, you might disagree about the appropriate level of intervention. If you think it was just "a weird and depressed-sounding diary," you probably don't think much intervention at all was called for - just a shrug of the shoulders, I guess. Of course I left out the "GBCW" in kos' description - because doesn't GBCW = suicide note, with the compassion removed? The only other context I've seen "GBCW" used at dkos is in the case of someone who writes a diary saying they're pissed at the reception they've received at the site and won't be posting there anymore - NOT someone who says they're going to euthanize their dogs and implies they're checking out of it all. In context, I think kos was pretty cold and crass to use that acronym, but maybe that's just me.

OTOH, it's kos' site, and to the extent some lines were crossed (or perceived to be crossed, even if they weren't, or even if no one has ever agreed where the line really is), it has potential consequences for him as the site owner, and he has a right to say his piece, and put the lid on something that looks like it might be out of hand. And I agree that there was reason to consider it out of hand - the people who were actually doing stuff kept putting in the diary titles "for updates ONLY" and then there were 100+ comments totally ignoring that request. So I am not mad at him for posting, just wish he would have found a nicer way to say it.

Finally, I think you are right that this is a situation where "kindly disagreeing" applies. Everybody just wants to do the right thing, but we don't always agree what that is, and that's okay.

[Firespirit]

15. Sorry Tay... I agree more with beachmom

Although I do respect your opinion. I'm a privacy freak myself.

I am sure it would be *embarrassing* to log on and find the fuss made over you, but as I understand it, fewer than 10 people had anything personally identifiable like a name or address, and they didn't spread it on the internet. The people who wrote the diaries all said they should be deleted after the situation was resolved. This could have gotten out of hand, but it didn't, in my opinion.

Her address was found by a private investigator (who, apparently, could have found it ANYWAY with his resources) and shared with a few people in Boston who wanted to check on her. The apartment from which she was evicted was confirmed to have been hers, and it apparently was empty overnight, after the diary was written. Her family didn't know where she was.

Even if she wasn't suicidal, randomly walking the streets of Boston in the middle of the night is not safe. If someone is suicidal or engaging in dangerous behavior, you'd be hard pressed to find a psychologist, or even a psych textbook, advising you to respect their privacy ahead of their life. They'll tell you that you have a responsibility to help someone who is unable or unwilling to help herself, and is doing things that could cause harm.

I know if it were my friend, I would rather have her with the "find Buffy" group than with Kos. And if it were me they were searching for, then yes, I'd absolutely be furious once I found out about it all. I have no doubt of it. But I understand that anger is a common reaction of deeply depressed people to forceful efforts to help them, much more common than gratitude. I guess the expression "tough love" is most appropriate.

[demdiva]

12. thank you ....i was just going to post this

Now Kos has a diary up about all these people violating her privacy. But in a case like this, isn't it better safe than sorry? I read that diary and it made me very sad and very scared for her.

[_dynamicdems]

14. This reminds me of good samaritans who were sued for helping people.

Then they changed the law to make allowance for such. In a case like this, the woman's welfare should trump her privacy right, especially since her post was probably a cry for help.

Has anyone heard anything further?

[beachmom]

16. I just went looking for any update, and this was all I found

It was on the diary that was a response to Kos's privacy diary.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/10/11/152541/27



Attn Help Buffy folks (8+ / 0-)
Recommended by: Ray Radlein, SarahLee, RickWn, RenaRF, Leaves on the Current, Rick Oliver, aphra behn, land of the free

Buffy's two blogs have been deleted in the last 10 hours... which means she's connected.... which means she's aware of all the attempts to help her.

"Mr. Speaker, I mourn democracy." Barney Frank, House of Representatives, 06/29/06

by suskind on Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 02:27:37 PM PDT

< Reply to This |Recommend Troll >

Attn Help Buffy folks by suskind, Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 02:27:37 PM PDT (8+ / 0-)


So, she lives. There will probably not be any more updates on this matter, because Markos, who owns the site, has basically shut it down. But perhaps Buffy's "suicide" is about killing off her identity on the internet. I don't think we'll ever know. To be honest, I think all of this reflects the dark side of blogs -- the concept of someone a bit loopy writing notes that are highly disturbing, everyone weighing privacy rights vs. helping others, and ultimately, that if you don't meet the people you converse with, do you really know them?

I still think the good people who tried to find her did the right thing. I certainly feel there should be a weighing of privacy vs. someone harming themselves. And, most importantly, I STILL think Markos is an ass!!! His comparing the people who tried to help to the mob who tried to "help" Terri Schiavo is absolutely unforgiveable.

[beachmom]

17. Just needed to share this wonderful smackdown of Kos's unfeeling

callousness. I never put this altogether, but this person establishes a pattern of Kos:

I guess my moral compass is just a little different than some people here. I don't think that dying in a freak accident while filming sea creatures for your daughter makes you an irresponsible parent. I don't think that dying while working as a contractor in Iraq should prevent compassion for your death. And I don't think it's a violation of privacy to reach out to someone who has been depressed, who writes what sounds to be a suicide note. But, that's just me.