I will continue to encourage John Kerry to support gay marriage. Here is why:

[beachmom]

Today was a nationwide protest against the passage of Prop 8 in California. Look at the pictures and read the words on Andrew Sullivan's blog, and try not to be moved:

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/

This story really got to me, as told by Sully:

We are so often told by opponents of marriage equality that they do not oppose our right to have basic legal protections. What they do not understand, because they have never had to understand, is that without legal marriage, gay couples are always subject to the veto of family members who have more say over our spouses under the law than we do.

I remember a story told me during the AIDS epidemic. A man was visiting a friend dying in hospital. It was a grim scene, as it often was in those days. The next bed in the ward had a curtain drawn around it. And from behind that curtain, you could hear someone quietly singing. The man told his friend, "Well, at least that dude is keeping his spirits up, however sick he is." And the friend replied:

"Oh, that's not the patient singing. He died this morning. And his family came to collect the body. That voice you hear is the man's partner. The family didn't approve of his relationship and they have barred him from coming to the funeral and kicked him out of their shared home. That song he's singing is the song they called their own. It was playing when they met. He used to sing it to him all the time when he was dying."

"He's still singing it even though they've taken the body away. He's singing it to an empty bed. I guess it's the last time he feels he'll ever be close to the man he loved. They were together twenty years. The hospital staff don't have the heart to ask him to leave yet."

Until you have been treated as sub-human, it's hard to appreciate how it feels. We will not give up. And we will win in part for the sake of those who never made it to see this day.

This is what my faith teaches me, whatever the Vatican insists. Our love really is stronger than their fear.

No, Senator, civil unions won't cut it. Skirting the issue by saying it is "settled law" in Mass. while gays in other states are stripped of their rights is just not good enough. Gay marriage is what they want, and I see no reason not to give them what they want.

[beachmom]

1. Boston rally:

The protest took place from 1:30 to 4:00, in front of City Hall. The weather was rainy and gloomy, but you could never tell by the attitude in the crowd. The feeling was not one of defeat, but of determination, of a willingness to fight. I ("Str8 against H8") stood next to a transgendered woman, a gay couple, and an elderly man and woman, all for the same cause. There were numerous speakers - congresspeople, advocates, teachers, speaking not just of prop 8, but of trans rights, DOMA, and the change that the community has brought forth, and will do again. Even when there were counter protesters, people at the rally stood up. A group of teen boys went to CVS, made quick signs, and stood in front of the hatemongers, telling them that they "were gay, and voting will not make them go away." In the end, it summed up the message of the rally - the fear of the oppressors will be drowned out by our determination. We won't shut up, and we won't give up.

[JI7]

2. John Kerry has attended same sex weddings

this was even long before massachusettes made it legal. i don't think he really has aproblem with it.

but i would also encourage him to be open about it.

[TayTay]

3. With all due respect, are you saying this to all other Dems

Are you asking all the Dems who voted for DOMA in 1996 and are still in the US Senate to take action or is this just against John Kerry? That seems unfair. Perhaps we should talk to Sen. Pat Leahy from Vermont and have him retroactively rebuke that vote. Where does the bashing of allies stop and the need to go after the actual people who are obstructing this start?

This is the vote from 1996 on DOMA: http://www.senate.gov/legislative/LIS/roll_call_lists/roll_call_vote_cfm.cfm?congress=104&session=2&vote=00280

Grouped By Vote Position
YEAs ---85
Abraham (R-MI)
Ashcroft (R-MO)
Baucus (D-MT)
Bennett (R-UT)
Biden (D-DE)
Bingaman (D-NM)
Bond (R-MO)
Bradley (D-NJ)
Breaux (D-LA)
Brown (R-CO)
Bryan (D-NV)
Bumpers (D-AR)
Burns (R-MT)
Byrd (D-WV)
Campbell (R-CO)
Chafee (R-RI)
Coats (R-IN)
Cochran (R-MS)
Cohen (R-ME)
Conrad (D-ND)
Coverdell (R-GA)
Craig (R-ID)
D'Amato (R-NY)
Daschle (D-SD)
DeWine (R-OH)
Dodd (D-CT)
Domenici (R-NM)
Dorgan (D-ND)
Exon (D-NE)
Faircloth (R-NC)
Ford (D-KY)
Frahm (R-KS)
Frist (R-TN)
Glenn (D-OH)
Gorton (R-WA)
Graham (D-FL)
Gramm (R-TX)
Grams (R-MN)
Grassley (R-IA)
Gregg (R-NH)
Harkin (D-IA)
Hatch (R-UT)
Hatfield (R-OR)
Heflin (D-AL)
Helms (R-NC)
Hollings (D-SC)
Hutchison (R-TX)
Inhofe (R-OK)
Jeffords (R-VT)
Johnston (D-LA)
Kassebaum (R-KS)
Kempthorne (R-ID)
Kohl (D-WI)
Kyl (R-AZ)
Lautenberg (D-NJ)
Leahy (D-VT)
Levin (D-MI)
Lieberman (D-CT)
Lott (R-MS)
Lugar (R-IN)
Mack (R-FL)
McCain (R-AZ)
McConnell (R-KY)
Mikulski (D-MD)
Murkowski (R-AK)
Murray (D-WA)
Nickles (R-OK)
Nunn (D-GA)
Pressler (R-SD)
Reid (D-NV)
Rockefeller (D-WV)
Roth (R-DE)
Santorum (R-PA)
Sarbanes (D-MD)
Shelby (R-AL)
Simpson (R-WY)
Smith (R-NH)
Snowe (R-ME)
Specter (R-PA)
Stevens (R-AK)
Thomas (R-WY)
Thompson (R-TN)
Thurmond (R-SC)
Warner (R-VA)
Wellstone (D-MN)

NAYs ---14
Akaka (D-HI)
Boxer (D-CA)
Feingold (D-WI)
Feinstein (D-CA)
Inouye (D-HI)
Kennedy (D-MA)
Kerrey (D-NE)
Kerry (D-MA)
Moseley-Braun (D-IL)
Moynihan (D-NY)
Pell (D-RI)
Robb (D-VA)
Simon (D-IL)
Wyden (D-OR)

Not Voting - 1
Pryor (D-AR)

[beachmom]

4. Kerry cast a brave vote against DOMA in the '90s. Nevertheless,

I do not agree with his position on gay marriage, and will continue to ask respectfully that he changes it. Quite frankly, I put Kerry on a much higher pedestal than most politicians in Washington. He actually cares. And it would be a significant event if he chose to support gay marriage. It would help marriage equality activists immensely.

I really liked this diary, which contained a similar plea:

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/11/17/163857/03/970/659073

It is very, very respectful, and gives compelling arguments as to why Sen. Kerry should fully support gay marriage. This is not an attack on the good Senator. This is an appeal to his better angels.

[Mass]

5. Beachmom, I do not disagree with you, but the real question is why do these

questions always go to Kerry, and not to other proeminent senators. This is the real question. I wished he came in public in favor of gay marriage too (though he came close to that a few weeks ago during the campaign talking to a supporter during an event http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=273x153298 ), but I am not sure whether it would matter or not. In fact, I am not that sure it would help as it would be seen as the support of somebody whose state has gay marriage. Except if you are waiting for him to actively campaign for it. Not really sure what you think a statement would make. (I do not see Barbara Boxer's support of gay marriage or Feingold's or Kennedy's helping. They say they support it if asked, and then everybody forgets).

[Democrafty]

6. Your point about Leahy, etc., is well taken, although,

I think members of both parties should be held to a higher standard.

Remember Santorum's famous "man-on-dog" comments five years ago? And remember how we later learned that Santorum's CoS/BEST FRIEND was gay? That kind of hypocrisy chills me to the bone. Do you know what would have to happen in order for me to call a friend (or an employee) a dog $@(%er?

Please, nobody answer that.

Beachmom, I don't like the way John Kerry talks about gay marriage, either. I'm on the record at wljk saying that, and when I told Tay I thought his heart was in the right place, but that the issue always makes him sound like an old guy, she said his daughters tell him the same thing. So he's being appropriately lobbied. I don't know if it will help or not, and I don't know if it needs to.

Because the point, as far as I'm concerned, is to look beyond the way people are talking about an issue, and focus on how they work for or against it. When JK says he will never work against gay marriage, I believe it, and find it pretty satisfactory. When people like Rick Santorum work against something that was an undeniable fact of modern life, they need to be held just as accountable as the Kerrys and Boxers and Feingolds of the world. If not more so.