I FOUND THE WMD!

[Vektor]

[WildEyedLiberal]

1. ROFLMAO

Seito busted this pic out last night, when we were debating John's shoe size. *ahem*

[Vektor]

2. I reckon it's quite large.

I voted Kerry in '04, because size matters.

[WildEyedLiberal]

3. We figured last night on three fists stacked together

But I fear to sell him short. Ask angrydemocrat, wherever she is, her opinion of this matter. He's quite an impressive man.

[Vektor]

4. OH MY EFFIN GOD.

Has angrydemocrat...seen it?

[WildEyedLiberal]

5. OH GOD I HOPE NOT

Because I would die of insane jealousy.

No, she just expresses an intense admiration for him, and it. This was all we talked about last night, so... actually, go to the thread called "Where's everybody" and read it. The naughtiest bits were edited, though... pity.

[Vektor]

6. Aw man!

Great genuis should never be edited.

ALTHOUGH...

A group of us gals got REALLY naughty on the Official Kerry Blog one night...(yeah, I know, REAL SMART) and Elizabeth Edwards popped in, and very sweetly let us know we ought to clean it up, because "everyone was watching." And, she addressed me BY NAME.

I still get shit TO THIS DAY from all those people...I guess I was the ringleader...or so they say.

[WildEyedLiberal]

7. How naughty?

:evilgrin:

OMG, Elizabeth Edwards stopped your kinkiness! Bitch slapped!

That sucks! Well, as far as I know, Big John doesn't come in here, so no "official" reprimand for thinking naughty things about a US Senator.

Do you think he'd secretly like it?

I bet he would.

So how naughty did the blog talk get?

[Vektor]

8. I bet he would like it....

He'd be flattered....
That night, there were about 8 women and a few of our funniest guys speculating in great detail about the size of John's member, and coming up with lewd scenarios of threesomes with John and John...all the women were saying that they'd be totally into that...then I said I'd write a book about it called "Tour of Booty" and another called "A Schlonger America"...and so on it went...

Finally I said that I'd be willing to work as an intern for JK, but I'd have to be under strict GAG order... I also mentioned that "John Kerry fits me like a flesh tuxedo, he wants to sink me with his pink torpedo..."

And then EE busted in and let us know she'd been in there for hours, and that "the whole camp was awake".

It was quite sobering.

By morning, the mods had "Cloroxed" the whole thread...

[WildEyedLiberal]

9. WOW

SO do you think that little bit o' kink got back to him?

More importantly, did it turn him on?


SO what was the consensus about his member? Like I said, we were getting some pretty "liberal" estimates here last night, when it got all kinkified. :evilgrin:

[Vektor]

11. Everyone agreed it had to be huge!

How could it not be?

[WildEyedLiberal]

12. No shit

He's 6'4''. His HANDS and FEET are MASSIVE. He has the longest fingers I've ever seen.

But when we say huge, what do we mean?

OK, I'll bite. Angrydem and I agreed it had to be around a footer. WHOAAAAA NELLY! 'Excited,' of course.

[Vektor]

13. A footer?!

Wow..I've never seen one that big.
Holy shit.
I cannot even imagine.
Ok, I can.

[WildEyedLiberal]

17. That was the biggest end of the scale

Personally, I'm thinking ten. Although I wouldn't mind being wrong. :evilgrin:

[Vektor]

19. I also thought ten

and that would be MORE than enough for me. I am a very little person.

[WildEyedLiberal]

21. Well, I'm a very virgin person

So it'd be MORE than enough for me, as well. But for John, I would handle it. Oh, I would MORE than handle it...

[Vektor]

25. Oh wow!!

A real virgin?
That is COOL.
I'm married - so, totally deflowered.
I am sure my husband would be thrilled to see the Kerry sex chat.

[WildEyedLiberal]

27. Hahahahaha a real virgin

That makes me feel like an endangered animal. "Look, it's an elusive virgin!" My kinky naughtiness belies that, I know, but, I just haven't met any John-like (that is to say, totally worthy) guys out there.

Yeah, I'm actually only 20. I know, everyone tells me I'm way too young to lust after Big John. To them, I respond:



There's something WRONG WITH YOU if you don't want to hit that.

[Vektor]

29. YOU ROCK IT!

I am so glad to hear about young gals lusting after John...he deserves it. I have you beat by about a decade, but I am very young looking, and never lost my childish zaniness....I do not grow up. :-)
I still get carded.

[WildEyedLiberal]

31. Hey, that's always flattering

So John's old enough to be your dad, too. SWEET! And NO, it's NOT an Electra complex. I love my dad to pieces, but he's nothing like John. John is just... John. *sigh* He's a sexy piece of man who was sexy when he was younger, but like a fine wine, has only gotten more delectable with age.

On an unrelated side note, I am eating vanilla pudding. Mmm...

[Vektor]

33. Me too...

My dad is a few years older than Kerry, and well, he's a jolly, plump guy who LOOKS in his sixties. John is HOT. Totally well built, and just...DAMN.

How could any woman NOT want to hit that?

I just ate tortilla lime chips.

Now I am covered in cats.

[WildEyedLiberal]

34. Wow, tortilla lime chips are so totally not as kinky

As VANILLA PUDDING. MMM, MMM!!!!

Unless you have a cat fetish....

Yeah, my dad's a big chubby guy pushing sixty, and looking it. John looks like someone I'd seriously hit on if I met him at a cafe or bar. And take home with me...

[Vektor]

36. Yup....

I'd definitely have to get it on with big John...

It's my patriotic duty.

"I'm reporting for BOOTY!"

[WildEyedLiberal]

38. LMAO clever

If I were seducing him, I'd get a little kinky Navy uniform, then rip it off and say that. "Reporting for booty, skipper!"

[Vektor]

42. I'd just...

...wear the hat.

[WildEyedLiberal]

44. KINKY

I'd wear the little green fatigues, like he wore in "Going Upriver" (have you seen that? 90 minutes of JOHN HOTNESS), except with nothing underneath.

"Oh, captain, I think we've sprung a leak below deck! Hurry... you'd better plug it up with something... wouldn't want the ship to sink, now, do we?"

[Vektor]

46. I'd like....

the torpedo to sink, though.

[WildEyedLiberal]

10. Also

I lurked the Official Blog quite often. Why didn't that ever happen when I was on? WTF. My timing blows.

Not the only thing that blows, incidentally, around these parts...

[Vektor]

14. You lurked on the blog?

Hmmm...
I wonder if you ever witnessed my rants...

[WildEyedLiberal]

15. Did you have the same name?

I did. I'm WildEyedLiberal for everything. I wish I'd witnessed your raunch. :P

[Vektor]

16. No.

I changed my name for DU. I reinvented myself after the Pink Torpedo scandal.

[WildEyedLiberal]

18. Hahaha

It sounds so tawdry when you put it like that :P

[Vektor]

20. It was...

"Torpedogate"

[WildEyedLiberal]

22. That's catchier than

"John's Huge Wang-gate."

[Vektor]

23. I like that too....

"BigKerrySchlongGate"

[WildEyedLiberal]

24. Or

"Giantcockgate."

OK, the tawdry to clever ratio just sailed into the stratosphere.

[Vektor]

26. I cannt top that....

..but I'd like to...BWAAA-HAAAA-HHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA

[WildEyedLiberal]

28. ROFLMAO

Badda bing!

Yeah, I constructed an elaborate "stallion" metaphor to one of my friends who knows I'm obsessed. It was quite good, actually.

[Vektor]

30. I have a few friends

who also want to hit that....so we get pretty stupid with the sick jokes. Remember when the Kerry site had all the campaign paraphernalia? We used to joke about how we wished we could order little vials of his "fluid."

It sickened all the Repubs we knew, so we really went off.

[WildEyedLiberal]

32. Yeah I get a zillion times pervier

A) With other pervs (like you!) ;)

or

B) When the other person is GROSSED OUT.

Hmmm... so, what would you use those vials for? A taste test?

I am eating vanilla pudding.

[Vektor]

35. A taste test....

and to decorate our clothing to get that "intern feel."

OMG...I work with a bunch of older Republican ladies...and whenever they start bitching about Kerry's politics, I bust into the convo and say stuff like "I would TOTALLY do it with him - he can raise my taxes any time..."
They really have nowhere to go.


OH GOD. MY DOG IS FARTING. IT'S LOUD AND IT REEKS. REEEEKS.

[WildEyedLiberal]

37. Hahaha, you're evil

That is awesome. I think I'll launch into a GRAPHIC John fantasy the next time my freeper friends start bugging me.

Put your dog outside! You can't have a proper sex fantasy with dogs farting.

Yeah. He could captain my swift boat all night long.

[Vektor]

39. HAHAHA swift boat...

HAHAHA...
Farting doggie is a spoiled indoor dog.
A glued to my side, big baby, lap dog which is like a tumor..always clinging...

and farting...

I have learned to sex around it.

[WildEyedLiberal]

40. My friend and I were discussing my obsession with John

And how it sucked that he "lost" because now we can't have kinky Oval Office sex, but I told her that in a way, it was almost better, because how hot would it be to sneak into GWB's Oval Office for a quick shag?

Imagine Dubya coming in the next day.

"Who spilled wite-out all over mah desk?"

[Vektor]

41. OMG!

That would rule...

WHOSE ASSPRINTS ARE THESE?!?!
Follow the link to see farting dog.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=203&topic_id=245363&mesg_id=245532

[WildEyedLiberal]

43. Awww puppy!

Yeah, I wouldn't mind leaving a little "surprise" for Dubya after a hot night of incredible sex.

"Why's mah chair wet? Did Barney piss again? Nah... don't smell like piss..."

[Vektor]

45. Shrub would probably like to watch...

...and on that lewd note..I should go to bed. I have to get up in oh, TWO HOURS for an appt.

Grr...

We can meet again tomorrow and tear shit up.

[WildEyedLiberal]

47. It was great meeting you

It's ALWAYS great meeting other people who think John is the walking, breathing embodiment of man sex. :evilgrin: I'm sure the kinkiness will continue on... I hope the mods don't spoil our fun, ever.

[Vektor]

48. It was great meeting you too!

I will be back on later, of course....
Sweet Kerry Dreams!

[TayTay]

49. Ahm, right

Lasses:

Ahm, well, ahm, there you go!

Holy Mother of Gawd! I now have to go say Three Our Fathers, Seven Hail Mary's and a few Glories and I didn't even post a damn thing! (Thanks a lot!) If I stay here any longer, I'll be in the confessional all day long.

Chastedly,

TayTay

[WildEyedLiberal]

50. Come now TayTay

I know you're just sad that you didn't get to participate.

I believe you said Friday you'd like to engage in some Kerry smut? That can certainly be arranged!

BTW, did you read the other one?

[TayTay]

51. True, you caught me.

Lascivious, lusty and longing!

Oh my gawd, where do you get that picture. Now I know why a certain Ma elected official never wanted for female company back in the days when he was single. My sister's friend dated Kerry. I never thought the stories were true. TayTay has a lot to think about and a few phone calls to make. Oh my gawd. No wonder the woman was always smiling. (Many years ago, before a happy and fulfilling marriage, of course.)

[seito]

52. I know, my virgin eyes

:evilgrin: They are trying to corrupt me.

[TayTay]

53. Resistance is futile

You will be assimilated.

I like that pic much better than the one that ran this summer about Darth Vader Cheney. I was liken to puke over that one.

:puke:

No wonder his wife always looks like she's been sucking on lemons.

[Withywindle]

54. OMG!!

You ho's were UP ALL NIGHT!!!


(Just like I'll bet JK was when he heard what was being said about him in "Torpedogate.")

[WildEyedLiberal]

55. LMAO

Yes, we were... and I certainly hope John enjoyed the torpedo scandal, though I unfortunately did not participate in that bit of kink.

And OMG TAYTAY....

CAN YOU SERIOUSLY FIND OUT HOW BIG IT IS??????

[seito]

56. OK, I missed something