An early trading ship on Gull Bay.

[Botany]

In early America ships like this used to cross the Atlantic with cargos of cuffs, booze, and salted
snark for pioneer EDVs. These women left the old world and set up "The Olde Olbermann Inn,"
not far from where the Potomac River and Chesapeake Bay came together. Many a traveler stopped
in for a meal, a hot bath, and place to sleep and many a traveler found out that their coin purses had
disappeared during the night.

[gkhouston]

1. that was a bad link, try this one...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/blog/2006/04/03/BL2006040300434.html?sub=AR

Hokay, if Kurtz is mentioning the Olbermann Watch website (which he calls "recent" :shrug:) as it if were semi-reputable, heck, you know he's brought his best journalistic skills to the table. :eyes:

on edit: Hey! you changed the post while I was responding. Bad Botany! :spank:

[Botany]

2. In front of the Inn, Princess Crispini of Gloster had these installed.

Once a lone man on horseback riding through town was arrested on the charge
of being too strong and good looking. Princess Crispini had him placed in her
own personal stocks in her bed chamber. "He shall feel the sting of my lash.
Please have the inn send round my meals for the next fortnight.
I must keep this evil man from spreading the devil's own charms to the fair maidens
in thy neighboring villages. God's will must be done."

[crispini]

3. Sticks and stones may break my bones....

but whips and chains excite me! :evilgrin:

[Botany]

4. Did I ever tell you that you are my Fav?

:rofl:

You don't think I was a little over the top in the story?

The EDV settlement on Gull Bay grew and prospered ..... although it was south of the Mason Dixon
line it never had slaves and allowed the female vote as early as 1743. The wise head who held sway in
the meeting hall was a women of learning and religion. She was the first to enact the "fair brat and beer"
laws. Their meetings were held in a great room in the meeting house.



Early news of politics and gossip were exchanged by leaving printed hand bills in a hollowed out
birch log. Which later was just called the B-log. Which was where we got our current day term blogging.

more later on EDVs in history ......

[RevCheesehead]

5. The "fair brat and beer laws?"

Russ would be proud!! :rofl:

[Botany]

6. The early EDVs clash with "The Fox Men"

The town run by the early EDVs was thriving on the banks of Gull Bay. Without slavery
and paying a fair wage the female dominated town had a thriving trade with other
Colonies and France. Fresh produce, cheese, rum, flax, hemp and well made leather goods
for "frisky women" sold well and filled the town coffers and the D.G. Bank. Life was good.

Nathan Bleever was skilled in the production of specialty leather goods at his "Shoppe of
Leather Pleasures" and the local gardener grew wonderful apples and peaches and often
was seen shirtless with his muscles rippling as he worked in the orchards. All women
of the town thought he was their Fav.



But across the bay the town was seen with fear and anger by the men of the "Fox Presbyterian
Church."

"It is an affront to God and the natural order to run a village as they do." Thundered
Rev. Rumsfeld from the pulpit. "We can not let the proof of these women's wanton ways be the use
of their goods by our God fearing women. We have to attack them over their before their ideas get
adopted over here. They are producing weapons of ass destruction ..... that will not stand."

As he spoke many of his town's women tittered and checked to see if their "Gull Bay Leather Pleasure
Goods" were tucked well inside their satchels. A couple looked at each other and whispered "Uff Daa."



Next chapter "The Battle."

[RevCheesehead]

7. Uffda!

O Sparky, where be ye? :loveya:

[Botany]

8. This him?

Noah Sparky.




But these are old time EDVs.

[bleever]

9. Our Establishment doth Specialize in Pink Furry Stocks.

Also Offering Traditional Wooden Pillories for Villainous Characters Such as Meister Bugman:



(Note: Because of especially high demand of late, traditional pillories currently on back order.)

[Botany]

10. And into the village came Rita of Cosby who spoke endlessly

about a Missing lass from a Colony far away.

"She doth bray like that of the jack ass and her voice doth bother
the ears of the villagers. Whilt though Squire Bleever fashion something
so as to spare us from her putrid noise?" Spoke they Lady of Patsy.

And it was done.





An EDV family circa 1743

[Botany]

11. And Rita of Cosby was dunked into the .....

[bleever]

12. And the family did gather together, and gazed upon

the Count-Down, and asked amongst each other, "Who the heck be this? Verily, it is not Keith (who hath already subjected us, in the name of the Spring Developmental Congregations, to ungodly combinations of tan and make-shift settings, and should be tending to his rightful labors, for the sake of God), but some interloper of indeterminate skills and provenance, shifted upon us most sudden and rudely!"

[gkhouston]

13. now that

was perfect. It does look like they're staring at a widescreen TV.

[Berry Cool]

14. Doesn't it, though?

And the family did say, "'Tis most unseemly for the spiritual leader of our nightly congregation to abandon us simply because the time of year has returned in which foolish men hit stitched-up leathern balls with wooden sticks for the purpose of sport. What can we do to cause him to see the error of his ways and return to our neighborly circle?"

[RevCheesehead]

15. *sniff*

I thought that I was your spiritual leader. :cry:

[gkhouston]

16. you are

so what can we do to persuade Keef to "follow the fold and stray no more"?

[crispini]

26. Bwahahaha! Pink Furry Stocks!

:loveya: Bleever!

[Botany]

17. "The EDVs across the water in Gull Bay are building sex toys of

mass distraction and we must invade them now to spread the democracy of God. Besides their
church is run by a women who speaks of loving they neighbor and helping
the least shows that they are helping God the best. This female Reverand
even allows Jewish people into her home and church. That is a sin. We must
stop them." Said Noah O'Rielly town blow hard of the Village of Fox.

She even said this, "Thy really should get a life. We are all God's children. And they are
welcome to stay here and snark if the wish." when told that Jews were walking the streets of Gull Bay.
"To the boats .... we must do the Lord's work and invade Gull Bay."



From high atop the bell tower on the Church / Beer and Brat hall in Gull Bay The Lady, Patsy of
Stone saw the Man of War and some sloops sailing towards the harbor. She sounded the
warning and soon the cries of Uff daa Uff daa alerted the fleet that was very loyal to the
EDVs of Gull Bay.

[RevCheesehead]

18. If Noah O'Reilly had his way,

he'd bring back the Salem witch trials.

[Botany]

19. Come on Cheese ....

..... such a great story based on facts and you bring in a Monty Python Pix?

[Berry Cool]

20. I think the most reverend hath a point.

Were Master O'Reilly in charge, he might well bring back the Spanish Inquisition. Thou wert not expecting that, wert thou? Well, thou art not alone in that lack of expectation.

In any case, while I do question the right reverend's assertion that she and not Master Olbermann is our spiritual leader (after all, we mayest worship at the altar where she presides, but she worships at the altar where HE presides), I must say that a dose of the Masters Python into this tale is not a completely undesirable one. Unless, of course, one art a parrot.

[RevCheesehead]

21. ...or an (h)allibot.

We're all out of fish licenses, I'm afraid. :P

[Gogi]

22. What?

Even noodling licenses?

[gkhouston]

23. are you invading the women or their sex toys?

Please define "invade". :P

[Botany]

24. The men of Fox Village were invading to stop the production of

STMD (Sex toys of mass distraction.) The also wanted to stop
the uppity women who founded their own political party.
Causes Ladies into Temptation ..... which was founded in Gull Bay.
Circa 1722.

[gkhouston]

25. would there be a point in having a sex toy

which did not distract? :shrug:

[crispini]

27. Lovely thread, Botany and all.

Magnificently done! :thumbsup:

[bleever]

28. And a time of great expectation came to settle upon Gull Bay.

Word had arrived from afar that a magistrate, esteemed highly for his knowledge of jurisprudence and for his fearlessness of the mighty burghers and the blowhardes of Fox Village, had set his sights upon the misdeeds of one of Fox Villages most unsavory characters.



Many tender hearts beat with a womanly, yet unashamedly enthusiastic rhythm in contemplation of such a hero as might rein in the reign of those who had rained insult upon insult upon the truly fairly balanced society as existed in Gull Bay. Only by consulting amongst themselves, and urging courage to each other even when they themselves felt lacking, did they get by.



And in taking comfort together, and sharing secrets of how best to maintain the potency of the tiny Leyden Jars developed to provide power to their mechanical aids to personal pleasure, did they get by until the day at last arrived.






(P.S.: Please be careful when googling "yearning girl".)
(P.P.S.: Or other search terms including the word "girl".)

[Botany]

29. Snark!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[bleever]

30. I am most proud of the

tiny Leyden Jars.


:)

[Patsy Stone]

31. Please be careful, though.

When disturbed, the results can be quite shocking -- and that goes for the little jars, too. :hi: