Would you leave your children behind to emigrate somewhere else?

[SoCalDem]

I saw a young Asian woman on tv explaining that immigration laws have some people waiting 20 years to bring their children to the US. I have a hard time understanding how any parent could pick up and leave children behind, no matter how hard their lives were in their home country.

If it's a violent situation, I would never be able to leave my kids behind and worry that my choice to leave kept ME safe, and them NOT. I know that lots of people leave their kids with Grandma, but what happens if Grandma gets sick and cannot care for them?

If it's not a violent situation, but is financial, is it any different than the way affluent people already here buy things for their kids, when all they really want is parental attention? Will that child, separated from Mom and/or dad for years, even feel a bond with them when they arrive years later as a teenager or adolescent...in a land they don't understand, with a language they don't speak..with parents who work so much at low paid jobs, that they have no time for them. Are we surprised that so many gangs are attractive to these kids?

I am no immigration expert, but I would prefer families coming together, no matter what their country of origin was. The old Ellis Island pictures usually show entire families, not just men and women, alone. Families can and DO face many hardships, and emerge intact. Lonely wanderers who leave their families must be very sad most of the time.

This wrinkle is different because I don't think it's so much for the children. It's not an anguished vietnamese woman, desperately pushing her baby into a busload of strangers, in hopes someone will take her child to America (That is selfless regard for the child)

This is economic....greedy corporatists, eager to exploit poor people and yes..poor people eager to BE exploited, in hopes that they too can grab the brass ring, here in America.. The sad thing is that some parents, in trying to give their kids a better life, lose touch with those same children.

[liberal N proud]

1. More likely to send my children to another country to avoid the

trouble ahead in the US.
My wife and I discussed that if bu$hy boy instituted the draft that our children would take a vacation to another country and simply not come back. We are determined that they will not fight this illegal war for the neo-cons.

[pilgrimm]

2. It's sad that some people have to make these choices

[MADem]

3. A whole segment of my family came over one at a time

Not Ellis Island, but Port of Boston...there was a lot of separation of families back then, too. One had to make the money to bring the next, and they kept bringing them over as they could afford the fares.

When people don't make enough to provide a decent life for their families, they are forced to make tough and painful decisions. Most people would likely prefer to stay in their homelands, if they had the safety, security, political freedoms, and decent lifestyle to so do.

[MuseRider]

4. No

unless it was for their safety. Hell, I can barely stand that they are grown, safe and 60 miles away. It would have to be really extreme for me to do that.

[Demeter]

5. May Be A Sandwich Situation

The emigres may be in the middle--young enough to get decent work, hope to come here, get established, send money to parents and children, then bring whole expended family over.

It is common in some cultures, esp. Chinese, that the grandparents raise the grandchildren while the parents work.

[Christa]

6. If I had a choice, no

However, we legally immigrated 9 years ago to the USA. As my son turned 21 before we got our Greencards, he had to leave the country. He is living in the UK now, and is waiting for us to become citizens so we can sponsor him to come back.

It breaks my heart :cry:

[SoCalDem]

8. How awful.. I cannot imagine how worried I would be

Is he close to getting his documents? I hope so

[Christa]

9. no

we have to wait a year to get our citizenship, and then a couple of years before they get theirs.

Thanks for asking.

[hyphenate]

7. My grandmother did it

when she emigrated from Newfoundland. Her husband, my grandfather, had died very young from tuberculosis, and she needed to find work and keep everyone going. She had no choice to put several of her seven children in an orphanage, and the other couple (including my dad) with her relatives.

She came to Boston via boat to find work as a cook, and then several years later she was able to pay for them to all eventually come to the U.S.

If you have to do it, there is nothing else you can do. Some countries are so poor that job opportunities don't exist for all that need to, want to, or can work, and finding another place where it is possible is a chance that can't be passed up.

My grandmother had it a little easier than many because there was no second language to be worried about, and she also had a trade that could get her steady work, if not financially overwhelming. And my grandmother was always a very hard worker, and had a strong work ethic.

I think it depends on the people involved. If there is a chance that goals can be reached with a little effort, most will take that opportunity. Others might find other ways of living their lives and without making significant changes in their career pursuits. It largely depends on how confident a person is with their own ability and how they view their kids--some would never leave their children, regardless of what opportunities are opened to them, while others will jump at the chance without a second thought.

I never had kids, and never wanted any, but I would not be afraid to leave them with parents or other relatives if the chance at moving gave me more than I had in my particular situation.