If a member of your family was murdered, how would you want it handled?

[IdaBriggs]

I am curious as to the range of emotions expressed by DU'ers, and the experiences of any crime victims we have among us.

Assume for the sake of this discussion:

1) *YOU* actually know who committed the crime beyond a reasonable doubt, but for whatever reason, our justice system was unable to effectively prosecute the person responsible;

2) the person who committed the crime will not be going to prison, and will, in fact, be someone you and/or the rest of your family will have occasion to run into "in the neighborhood" in the future for the rest of your life;

3) you have no idea if the perpetrator will or will not kill again; and

4) your family obligations and finances will not allow you to move.

How would you want it handled?

(Yes, I watched the "Law & Order: Special Victims" episode last night, and then the 16 year old who executed his father's killer under Sharia law finished crystallizing the question for me.)

ON EDIT: Sorry, I accidentally cut off some of the answers! Doh!

[SmokingJacket]

1. Depends who they killed.

I know this is going to sound weird, but if they killed anyone but my children, I would try to ignore it and move on.

However, if they killed my kids... I would probably seek vengeance. Not that I think it's "right" and I don't believe in vigilantism, at all, and I would expect to be punished for my actions.

[IdaBriggs]

4. Spouse, Sibling, Parent vs. Children?

That is a very good point.

Do you think part of it is the (assumed) youth of your children versus the (assumed) age of the others, or are you "more protective" of your children in general?

(I am not arguing, by the way; I am just asking so I can better understand.)

[SmokingJacket]

11. Yes, it's probably the protectiveness factor.

It's my job to protect them -- and though of course if they killed my spouse I'd be devastated, I'm not sure if I'd go completely around the bend with thoughts of revenge. Though maybe I would! Heaven forfend I ever be in such a situation.

Actually, this is probably it: if they hurt someone else in my family, I'd still have to be around to take care of my kids, so I'd stifle any negative feelings and get on with life. If they took my kids, I wouldn't feel like I had much more to lose.

Gawd, what a conversation! :crazy:

[Xithras]

12. I think that EVERYONE is more protective of their children

Humans are still animals inside, and certain instincts run deep. If someone killed my parents or a sibling and got off, I'd probably devote a good chunk of time to making their life a living hell. Imagine flyers and photos of the crime scene showing up everywhere from their front porch, to their church, to every prospective employers desk, and even their childrens school...there would be no respite and nobody would be allowed to forget what they had done. I would harass them until they moved far, far away. But physical violence? Probably not.

If anyone were to kill one of my kids, they should pray for jail because I'd kill them otherwise. It's not very progressive, but honestly that's a kind of rage that someone doesn't just bottle up and ignore. Some half drunk idiot ran into my kid as he was riding his bike a few years back, and even though my son was OK, it still took three grown men to keep me from tearing the guys head off until the police arrived. When someone hurts someone elses child, a different set of rules takes over inside them.

[AndyA]

2. My Mother was murdered when I was 17.

My Brother and I were upstairs asleep in our bedrooms at the time. The person who killed her was an acquaintance of the family.

He was convicted of second degree murder.

He was out on an appeal when a brand new car, being driven by a new car salesman, lost its brakes at an intersection and broadsided the truck being driven by the murderer. Even though the car was only going about 30-35 mph on impact, the truck rolled over several times, almost as if hit by a train, according to the many witnesses to the accident.

Then the truck exploded.

The brakes on the new car had failed, according to the driver, who was not injured. Witnesses saw the man attempting to stop the car by pumping the brakes. After the accident, the brakes on the car were fine. No one else was injured in the accident. The accident was chalked up to mechanical failure, and no charges were filed against the driver.

If I ever doubted a higher power existed, this removed all doubts forever.

This is the way I think it should be handled, although I realize it doesn't always happen this way.

[bobbieinok]

5. my sympathies.......and what an ending to the whole thing

[IdaBriggs]

6. Wow -- I am sorry for your loss --

But that would definitely be a "divine providence" moment for me, too! :hug:

[0007]

10. Wow!

[bryant69]

3. This is kind of like the "would you torture" question

What if you knew there was a nuclear bomb and you knew that this person knew where it was and you know it would go off in a short time.

Life doesn't usually present itself so neatly.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

[IdaBriggs]

8. In this case, it is simply a question. Hopefully, none of us will ever

have to face such a scenario.

Our local police force told my husband and I that they *always* solved their cases, but that the conviction rate was about 60%.

Life is indeed complicated, and my question is a difficult one to answer.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

7. My father was murdered.

Shot to death by my 15 year old half-brother. He believed he was acting in self-defense. I won't go into all the details because they are very murky and certainly open to different interpretations.

He went to trial and it was judged to be self-defense. Whether that was the truth of the matter, I don't know. I was 4 at the time and witnessed the killing.

Needless to say, I interacted with my brother for a good portion of my life. We parted ways long ago, but it had nothing to do with the death of my father.

It's not something you (or, at least I) could just walk away from.

My brother has led a "productive" life by American standards and has never killed again, nor committed any crimes.

I'm a firm opponent of the death penalty.

[IdaBriggs]

9. Complete and utter heartfelt sympathies!

What a horrible trauma for you and your family to have experienced! :hug:

[Bridget Burke]

13. Other: Never Give Up.

Always let everyone I met know the truth as I saw it. Always warn them of possible danger.

Cut the killer dead--socially, that is--it's an old-fashioned phrase. Never speak to them, always avert my eyes when they appeared.

Keep trying to make the legal system work.

For a killer who did go to trial, I would not want the death penalty. Although I would hope he or she would rot in jail forever.

(My mother was robbed in her home & the {white crack-head} robber "roughed her up." This exacerbated some existing physical problems. She was either in a hospital or a care center for the rest of her life, which ended less than a year from the attack. The robber was apprehended & got 30 years.)

[slackmaster]

14. 3-S treatment

Shoot, Shovel, & Shut Up.

[BoneDaddy]

15. If anyone came after me or my family or friends

I would put a bullet into their skull, no questions asked, and most likely deal with the emotional ramifications the rest of my life.

If someone murdered my children or wife, I would want to get to them first so I can play the role of Hannibal Lechter for a few hours, then I would deal with the emotional ramifications of what I did for the rest of my life.


That said I don't think it is the state's job to kill people in my or anyone else's name, due to the way the death penalty has been carried out in this country, but If I caught the perp, they would be dead.

[jeanarrett]

17. I'm with you. If anyone killed one of my kids,

especially if it were a sex crime and I was able to get to them--I would kill them--with my bare hands if need be. And I know and expect that I would be punished for it.

[BoneDaddy]

31. yeah... It is about being real

I would walk through fire and fight till I dropped for my kids. And whomever harmed them better kill themselves before i got my hands on them. I totally agree.

[meatloaf]

16. Depends on a larger number of variables, to include did my

family member earn the enmity of the murderer.

If you're solely implying that it was out and out murderer and the the person was and contiued to be a threat to my and my family's well being, the threat would be removed, and that doesn't require homicide, it could just as easily involve some form of hobbling.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

18. I highly doubt anyone who claims they'd seek vengence would follow through

It's easy to talk about, much more difficult to actually do. Few people are capable of killing someone, circumstances or not.

[Freedom_Aflaim]

19. I had a family member murdered recently

2 days before Christmas in fact.

The perpetrator is awaiting trial and there is no doubt that he did it (he confessed at the scene).

I didnt vote in the poll. Its complicated and their are practical reasons why I shouldnt vote.

Again its complicated and my emotions have ran the gamut. I've changed my mind a dozen times about
what I would like to see done to the killer. I have noticed the same of other family members as well.

I am reasonable confident that the killer will not go free, although how much jail time he will get is a question. The death penality has been ruled out by the prosecution however.

If he were to go scot-free, that would take me to a place in my mind that I wouldnt want to visit.

[IdaBriggs]

25. Complete and utter heartfelt sympathies!

I am truly sorry for the trauma you and your family have gone through! :hug:

[BoneDaddy]

32. I am so sorry

for the death of your family member. I wouldn't know what to think or do in your situation.

[AngryAmish]

20. I would hope the guy is caught

on edit - because I didn't read the original post well enough.

The person would have lost all of his privlidges to live within my time-zone. I would hire a few guys to make this extremely clear to him. I probably would also have a weight bearing joint in each of his lower limbs suffer a comminuted fracture so they would have pain with every step for the rest of their lives.

[debbierlus]

21. It is so sad that so many people here have had murder touch their lives!

Wow. My heartfelt sympathy to all of you.

[RedStateShame]

22. If it were me,

I'd look that murderer square in the eye and say, "Aren't you the guy who hypothetically murdered Kitty Dukakis in the '88 debates?"

[IdaBriggs]

26. I remember the "hypothetical murder of Kitty" in 1988, but

I don't really understand your answer? I'm sorry -- maybe I'm just having a "duh" moment! :)

[RedStateShame]

28. Oh, nothing to understand

I just remember that question, and it seems like the classic moral dilemma that always seems to come up with discussion, and I remember how much ado was made over how Dukakis handled that question--I believe it wasn't bloodthirsty enough for Joe Sixpack--but the last I checked, killing a person has never brought another person back to life, nor did it un-do the murder.

So, in short, just bumming around the DU forums until work ends.

[Rowdyboy]

23. When my baby brother was murdered by his estranged wife in 1994, I chose

to ignore and move on after she was found not guilty of anything. We don't live in the same town, but the result would be the same. I have no right to take vengeance-that would make me as much a monster as she is.

[IdaBriggs]

27. It feels so repetitive to say this, but

Complete and utter heartfelt sympathies on your loss! :hug:

[Rowdyboy]

30. You're very kind.....He was a troubled young man and made some bad choices

The anger and pain have subsided, and thinking of him always makes me smile now.

[SeattleGirl]

24. One of my two favorite uncles was murdered

They caught the men who did it, they were convicted, and are sitting in prison. The thought of doing something to them myself never entered my mind, nor did the thought of giving them the death penalty (I oppose the death penalty).

That said, though. it's a little difficult to answer the question given the assumptions you asked us to make about it, in part because the men WERE caught and convicted, and in part because my uncle was a very important part of my life, I realize I may feel different if someone murdered my daughter. In pain and anger, I probably would feel like doing something to them, but I think that in the end, I wouldn't. It is a situation though, that I think one would really not know how they'd react until and unless they were actually in it.

BTW, I saw L&O:SVU last night too.)

[Solo_in_MD]

29. One jr redneck found out what happen when you hurt one of my family

no bodies, but he thought he was going to die. If someone clearly killed a close family member with malice and was released, not a lot of doubt what I would do.

[DiverDave]

33. If there was no doubt?

I would gun them down...
But, it changes if it where my wife and not my kids.
My kids would need me, so I would take that into consideration.
I frequent a car website, lots of young testosterone fueled talk of street racing.
I have said there that if someone was street racing and hurt my kids, they better get right with whatever higher power they believe in, because I would get them.
I cant imagine living without my kids, they have become the great moving force in my life.
If they died, I cant really see any reason to go on.

[seabeyond]

34. mourn n/t