An unfond remembrance of bob hope

[tatertop]

So Bob Hope lived to be 100, and that’s wrong.

Bob Hope is everything that was wrong with America in the 20th century—lucky, opportunistic, selfish, two-faced, sophomoric, shortsighted, undeservedly rich, intolerably smug.

Bob Hope is everything that’s wrong with the 21st century, too. He’s still here, isn’t he?

Bob Hope is everything that is wrong with naming a boy "Leslie."

Bob Hope is everything that is wrong with our immigration laws, threatening whether any nation can long endure the admittance of foppy little British kids who tap-dance for tuppence.

Bob Hope is everything that was wrong with Bing Crosby. And that dude was fucked up.

Bob Hope is everything that is wrong with USO tours. For 60 years Hope cast himself as a hero for staging shticky shows for our boys overseas. He was really just the cruelest of opportunists–party to a propaganda deal with the government. Hope’s USO and Christmas specials in Vietnam in the 1960s were underwritten by tax dollars. The government saw the value in convincing America that the teenagers it had drafted and sent into the jungle were having a good time. Hope just saw value–he got free publicity and kept the huge profits. And the servicemen? Would you want to spend your last day on Earth listening to Bob Hope mechanically recite rim-shot one-liners?

Bob Hope is everything that is wrong with honorary doctorates. He received 54 of them.

Bob Hope is everything that is wrong with golf, and not because he played the world’s most evil game with a bunch of presidents. One of Hope’s best golf buddies was the late Prescott Bush–father of George, grandfather of George W.–who earned the Bush family fortune by supplying financial aid and raw materials to Hitler’s Third Reich.

Bob Hope is everything that is wrong with television specials. He had his 296th NBC Bob Hope Special in 1996, and it only felt like 297.

Bob Hope is everything that is wrong with Dolores Hope. Despite their nearly 70 years of marriage, the guy was famous for his dalliances with hundreds of chorus girls. "Dolores," of course, means "sorrowful."

Bob Hope is everything that is wrong with me–because back in 1987, at his home in Toluca Lake, where I was invited to cover an open casting call for a Fawn Hall look-alike for a Bob Hope special making light of the fact that the Reagan administration illegally sold weapons to Iranian terrorists and that Oliver North’s secretary shredded documents trying to cover it up, I blew my best shot to rearrange Hope’s ski-slope nose into a snowboard halfpipe.

Bob Hope is only 33 1/3 percent of what is wrong with the postcard they sell at the Nixon Library, showing him with Richard Nixon and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

But Bob Hope is everything that is wrong with human life–because there is something totally wrong about Bob Hope living to be 100.

(I did not write this. It was written by a fellow who was on hope's
production team. We started emailing and he sent me this, following
hope's death.)

[babylonsister]

1. Did you make this up? nt

[msongs]

2. a bit of hyperbole, eh? nt

[walldude]

3. And your point? n/t

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

4. Damn. You look like Fawn Hall?

Cool.

[MrSlayer]

5. I always hated Bob Hope.

Even as a child but for no apparent reason, I just hated him. Some people give me that vibe.

[Blue_In_AK]

25. Me, too...

I just knew there was something not quite right about him -- kind of like John Wayne.

[Blue_Tires]

6. sarcasm?

[niyad]

7. geez, who pissed in your cheerios?

[JVS]

30. I would guess that it was Bob Hope

[Botany]

8. and this is Bob Hope on Guadacanal

Bringing laughter and thoughts of home to people who were fighting and
dying so you and I could play on DU many years later.

Nothing phony about this .... He was just about on the front lines @ times.
I may not like his politics but to lift those troops spirits for just a few
hours was a priceless gift. Go ask a Vet from WW II or Korea or Vietnam
what his visits meant to them.

[uppityperson]

9. written by Dave Wielenga who hated Hope, LINK here, he sent you this?

nothing on Snopes yet, give it a day to continue to circulate, emailed all over.

Aha, google to the rescue
http://www.ocweekly.com/features/features/stories-that-made-a-difference/18589/

BOB HOPE
“Hope Springs Infernal” by Dave Wielenga, June 6, 2003


Former Weekly staffer Dave Wielenga hated Bob Hope. Hated him. Though he never really explained the reason for the hate, Dave had made it clear to us that there was an open invitation to party at his house the day Hope dropped. But Hope just kept on living. He turned 85, then 90, 95 and 99. By the time he turned 100, Wielenga unloaded in a piece that began: “So Bob Hope lived to be 100, and that’s wrong. Bob Hope is everything that was wrong with America in the 20th century—lucky, opportunistic, selfish, two-faced, sophomoric, shortsighted, undeservedly rich, intolerably smug.” It went on like that for 500 words. “Bob Hope is everything that is wrong with our immigration laws . . . Bob Hope is everything that is wrong with the 21st century . . . Bob Hope is everything that was wrong with Bing Crosby. And that dude was fuckedup.”

Anyway, Dave’s “Hope Springs Infernal” ran in June 2003. By July, Bob Hope, who’d survived two World Wars and Call Me Bwana, was dead. Sadly, Wielenga was in Mexico when the great day arrived and could not share it with his friends. Of course, he had shared with readers, and they in turn shared with him. Jack Ryan of Laguna Niguel wrote what I think is my all-time favorite OC Weekly letter in that it not only contained the usual anger but also seemed to capture the slow burn of incredulity many readers experience:

Dave Wielenga, you’re everything that is wrong with human life, because there is something totally wrong about you living to whatever age you are to be able to write the vile garbage that you do about people like Bob Hope <“Hope Springs Infernal,” June 6> who you wouldn’t make a pimple on his ass. So go fuck yourself, you pinko asshole. Same to the rest of your asshole staff. Man, you people really suck! Why don’t your anonymous cowards get some balls and face off on those people that piss them off so much?

I copied Ryan’s letter, blew it up, framed it and gave it to Dave as a Christmas present.

tripe

[tatertop]

10. I had the mis-pleasure of working with hope

Years ago when I worked in production.
Nasty experience.
Sinatra hated him because he was a 'cheap skate.'
Boy howdy, that he was. Sad that he will forever be remembered
as an icon.

[niyad]

15. in your OP, you did not state that you also worked for hope, only that the

person who wrote this diatribe did. interesting omission.

[uppityperson]

16. So what brings this piece of hateful writing up now?

[niyad]

27. so which is it--you worked in production, or the other person who

supposedly wrote this letter?

by the way, I have had the opportunity to see mr. mobbed-up sinatra at his most obnoxious and demanding, so I don't really give a rat's ass what he said about anybody else. I remember the ruckus he and dean martin caused when they wanted to play blackjack, and were infuriated when the dealer couldn't up the table limit. so, no, I am not impressed by any comment sinatra had to make about anyone else.

[incapsulated]

33. Ah, so this is personal

My advice is that you.... move on. This... thing you posted starts to sound, half way through, well.. mental.

[Yollam]

11. Everything you say is true...

...but it won't sell. People cling to cherished rose-colored memories like they do their own children.

Selling this would be like selling longtime dems on the fact that Truman was a mass-murderer for ordering the a-bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Doesn't matter that it's true. There are certain things that the majority DON'T WANT to believe, like that America could be an expansionist aggressor state, or terror state, that elements in our government killed JFK and attacked the world trade center, and that Bob Hope and Golf represent everything corrupt and wrong with our society and culture.

Enjoy the flames. I hope my telling you that they are undeserved is some consolation...

[Jim Sagle]

22. Truman RRRRRRRAWWWWWKED!!!!!!!!!

[niyad]

12. you are aware, of course, that he died three years ago, so what brought

this on?

[Media_Lies_Daily]

13. The person that sent you this needs to seek help. And soon.

[benddem]

14. Well he gave me two days of fun

when I could forget all that was happening around me. One was in Bear Cat Vietnam and the other in Camp Kue Okinawa.

[tatertop]

17. any former USO tour members here?

once in a blue moon I come across a former USO Tour member.
Many interesting stories to be told.

[Joe Fields]

18. I liked Bob Hope

[peacetalksforall]

19. I'm intrigued. I thought most of his humor was cruel and very partisan,

but I didn't know enough and it wasn't important. I just kept my mouth shut. No point to speak. I was no fan of his.

[CrazyOrangeCat]

20. He was human. He did some good things . . .

. . . and helped some people. He did some bad things, and hurt some people. He sure as hell didn't start those wars.

What's the point of this, now?

Besides, my middle name is Leslie, dammit!!!

;)

[EFerrari]

21. Bob Hope may have been an asshole to everyone in his life

and to the planet at large.

But, he was funny and without him, Colbert would have been impossible.

When Bill Graham put together benefits here for the 1989 earthquake, Hope performed at all three in the same day even though by then, he must have been in his late eighties.

Doug hosted the SF one. When they went to take a group photo, Hope said, "Have Ferrari kneel down in front of me" because Doug's really tall. Doug said, "I don't need the gig that badly, Bob."

And they snapped the shot. (Sorry for the glare)

[tinfoilinfor2005]

23. I saw a biography piece on him some years ago, maybe around

nine or ten now. It was very straightforward like most of those things, but in the end it left a bad taste in your mouth for the guy. It wasn't very favorable to him as a family man, and this coming from one of his kids. And of course the affairs were pretty well publicized.

So I will acknowledge that you might be very close to the truth in your appraisal of him. However, what is the point of bringing all of this up now? It's not like he will be running office. And even if people know these things, they will still admire him for the "momentary pleasure" he brought to so many service men.

[buff2]

24. God,that is a cruel letter

I don't give a rat's ass if Bob Hope was a repuke or not. I loved watching him and his movies were hilarious. As a matter of fact,I've been keeping close tabs on the TV schedule looking for any movies of his that might be on.He was funny,talented and I think had a caring heart. Repukes today are not like that....the phoney "Christian" fundies have taken over that party and now they are nothing but cold hearted cruel greedy power hungry bastards who use God/Jesus for votes.I would go back to the Bob Hope era in an instant. This era stinks...people are too freakin mean spirited for my tastes.

[niyad]

26. He taped one of his comedy specials at Harrah's Lake Tahoe when I was

there--there was no cover charge, just a two-drink minimum (and most of us had drink tokes) It was fun watching him do his routines, flubs and all--and I enjoyed watching him interacting with the audience, shaking hands, joking, pausing to allow pictures. The stage crew at Harrah's had only good things to say about him.

I know a lot of servicemembers who enjoyed his shows--and he and the members of his troupe put their lives on the line in many situations-often they WERE almost right on the front lines.

so, flawed human being and all, I liked him, liked his movies, (especially the "road" pics) and liked what he did for our service members. (you need to watch the movie schedules --three of the "road" pics have been on in the last month that I have noticed, and I don't watch tv all that often)

[JVS]

28. What did he do? Shoot your grandmother in the face or something?

[Hardrada]

29. I liked some of his flicks and he did make me laugh.

I liked his theme song and enjoyed the time he sang the original version on the Carson show. In some of his early films, he played a bemused Everyman caught in impossible situations. Played straight they could have been noir flicks but he turned them into a series of memorable gag routines. He and Jack Benny epitomized the humor of a more gentle era.

[spanone]

31. I think we have higher hurdles to clear than the dead Bob Hope.

:crazy:

[DearAbby]

32. Bob Hope visited my Father as he laid wounded

in a US Army hospital in Korea. The man was unselfish with his time when it came to entertaining our troops, so far from home.

You are entitled to your opinion, I don't share it.