Breaking: Moussaoui Saves Box Of Kittens From Burning Warehouse

[politicaholic]

Moussaoui wearing his fall, spring,
summer, and winter line.

5/4/2006
Terrorist Fancy Magazine
Alexandria, VA - Zacarius Moussaoui (the terrorist) turned green, broke his bonds with supernatural strength, ripped through the roof of his armored personnel transport, climbed a burning warehouse, and saved a box full of adorable kittens today. He then climbed down gently, saving orphans that happened to be squatting there along the way. He then turned back to his original color (terrorist color), put his handcuffs back on, and quietly got back into the personnel transport.

One witness said, "It was amazing, that evil evil terrorist saved all of those orphans, then extinguished the fire with his super evil terrorist breath. That's how the elderly crippled people living in the basement were able to get out. What a great guy that evil horrible terrorist is."

Moussaoui (the terrorist) was sentenced yesterday to life in prison for delivering pizza and making coffee runs for the 9/11 terrorists, before being ditched in a gas station bathroom on the way to the airport the day of the attack. He represents a symbolic victory for America since the other terrorists in custody who had a more active roll were tortured, so there's no chance they would get one day in prison under United States law.

Moussaoui (the evil terrorist) was quoted after the incident, "Most of the praise really needs to go to Allah and of course the mother cat who had the foresight to give birth to her litter in a convenient box; kill all infidels. The orphans just sort of latched on as I was going down, but that's okay, they're small and light and oh so cute; America will BURN! Perhaps when Allah convinces George Bush to acquit me next year I'll start a farm for kittens and orphans."

He added, "Thank Allah I wasn't sentenced to a tour of duty in Iraq. Now THAT'S a death sentence; Osama forever."

[savemefromdumbya]

1. Just think he could have got a golf trip from Abramoff

too late Jack is in inside